


The Hands of Time

by TanjaDroverson



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F, Uber
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 21:23:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 72,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11586447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TanjaDroverson/pseuds/TanjaDroverson
Summary: Doctor Alicia Schmidt serves on the U.S.S. Explorer as the CMO. On an away mission her best friend and Counselor Richard Bronson gets hurt. The Doctor fights for his life and the question arises: Will the Explorer have to search for a new Counselor for their six-month, deep space mission via slipstream? And what happens if the past rears its head?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Starfleet and all its contents belong to Paramount. No copyright infringement intended. Alicia and Elisabeth are mine though they might bear resemblance to some women we all know… it feels good to say this.  
> The songs I used don’t belong to me, either …  
> Another Level "From the Heart"  
> Mariah Carey "All I’ve Ever Wanted"  
> R. Kelly "I Believe I Can Fly"  
> Mariah Carey "I’ll Be There"
> 
> Rating: NC-17 for a relationship between two women. It’s going to be explicit at some point or another…
> 
> Notes: I don’t really know what made me write this story anymore but I want to thank Xenatrek for beta-reading and helping me to keep at it. Also, thank you to Katrina for offering some very interesting insights and for the long talks, which helped to solve some problems I had with writing…  
> Don’t post without written permission of the author.
> 
> I used the stardate-calculator from this site: http://www.hillschmidt.de/gbr/sternenzeit.htm
> 
> Thanks to Patti for a terrific job with cutting my "run-on-sentences" short!
> 
> Special thanks to Wiki for the final touch on the storyline *grins*
> 
> Started: August 18th 2006  
> Finished: December 5th 2006  
> Revised: 2009  
> Revised: 2017
> 
> Feedback: tanja.droverson@hotmail.com

  
March 30, 2438, Time: 10:27:37, SD 115242.29

It was a wonderful spring morning. Huge fields of green grass and wildflowers spread across the hills and valleys of the landscape, as far as the eye could reach. The sky was blue without any clouds; birds were flying across it, singing and enjoying the fresh breeze. The air smelled of spring flowers, the warmth of the sun and grass.

The promise of a beautiful day was palpable.

A dark spot appeared at the eastern horizon, growing bigger until the outlines of a shuttle became visible. Coming closer with every passing second, it was almost close enough to see every little detail like the pilot in the cockpit when suddenly, the starboard nacelle exploded.

The shuttle seemed to hang in the air for some seconds before it began to lose height and crashed into the ground behind a hill. As soon as it was down, a second explosion could be heard and fire burst into the sky, scattering birds from their resting places. The silence afterward was deafening and black smoke billowed through the sky from the spot where the shuttlecraft had crashed.

The auburn-haired woman stood frozen to the spot, unable to move, think, feel, do anything. She was unable to believe what she had just witnessed with her own eyes. She was shocked like never before. She watched the black smoke rise in circles into the now quiet air. It signaled something for her that she was not able to comprehend at that moment.

Nothing moved for what seemed an eternity. In truth, only seconds lapsed before howls of unbelievable pain and loss could be heard from the crowd around her. Disbelieving screams rang out and everything seemed to move in slow motion.

Without warning, tears began to stream down her face. She felt strong arms encircle her before she collapsed onto the ground, losing consciousness from the sheer impossibility of the events. A strangled, agonized "no" escaped her lips before everything around her went black.


	2. August 18, 2437, Time: 14:54:57, SD 114629.10

Doctor Alicia Schmidt worked hard to save the life of Richard Bronson, Counselor of the U.S.S. Explorer. It was a Galaxy-class vessel on which she was the Chief Medical Officer, responsible for the health of about 1,200 people together with one other doctor and a medical staff of about 20.

Counselor Bronson had accompanied an away team of two Security Officers, the First Officer Chris Ranton and Chief Engineer, Lieutenant Madeleine Pura, for negotiations on the planet of Cruda about interesting new technology. The Crudans turned out to be very hostile and not interested in diplomacy at all, but in the technology the Federation vessel might have. Without warning, they opened fire on the Starfleet Officers, killing Security on the spot. Lt. Pura had severe burns to her hands and Cmdr. Ranton was shot in the leg. These injuries weren’t life threatening but Counselor Bronson was a totally different story. He had been shot in the chest and midsection before the Transporter Chief was able to beam them back to safety and it didn’t look good for him.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

Alicia had joined the Explorer two years ago, at the age of 40. Richard Bronson, being the same age, had befriended her. They had spent most of their free time together.

"Damn, Rich, you can’t do this to me! Come on," she mumbled under her breath while trying to revive him.

The monitors were beeping frantically when suddenly, there was only the sound of a flat-line with the drone of a constant beep, but Alicia didn’t stop.

She tried for several more minutes but his injuries were too severe. She couldn’t help him anymore and she was unable to dismiss the obvious: She had lost a very good friend.

Her sky blue eyes filled with tears as soon as she stopped her ministrations. She took off the bloodied gloves as well as the mask covering most of her face and looked down at the broken body of the dark haired man whose face looked peaceful despite his horrible death.

She recycled the instruments, asked one of her staff to clean her friend and tied her shoulder length blond hair back in its usual loose ponytail when she was clean again.

She watched Richard for a while before retreating to her office to write the report and inform the Captain of the Counselor’s death. But before she did anything else, she sat down in the chair in her office and cried for some time.

Her face with high cheekbones, a pointed nose and the cleft chin as well as the full red lips, showed unmistakable sorrow. Her eyes were blood-shot. With unrestrained tears streaming down her cheeks, her elegant hands shielded the light from her sensitive eyes while her elbows were resting on the desk.

When she calmed down again, she wiped her face, put on the blue gown, over her teal uniform and slapped the commbadge after she attached it to the left of her chest.

"Schmidt to Captain Richardson," she hailed her Commanding Officer.

"Richardson here," his deep voice sounded over the comm system.

"Captain, I would like to speak with you in your ready room," she stated.

"Meet me there as soon as you are ready, Doctor," he said. "Richardson out."

She sighed, got up from her chair and asked for reports about the other patients before heading to the bridge.

She couldn’t believe that her friend was dead. Only yesterday they had spent the evening riding their bikes on the Holodeck, one of their favorite free time activities together and now, he was gone. But there was no time to mourn now. She had her duties and there would be time for that later.

She greeted her fellow officers when she entered the bridge. She went directly to the door of the ready room, as Captain Richardson was not on the bridge and entered the office after she rang the door chime.

Captain Richardson, a tall, handsome man of about 50 with short dark brown hair and black eyes was sitting behind his desk, looking at her with a serious expression on his prominent face.

"Have a seat, Doctor Schmidt," he said, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

She sat down, meeting his eyes. Her face must have shown the sad news because he lowered his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I take it you weren’t able to save Counselor Bronson?" he asked, sadness evident in his deep voice.

"I did everything I could," she answered.

"I know you did, Doctor. You wouldn’t settle for less. He was your friend," Richardson acknowledged.

Silence fell for some time, both looking at each other with sad eyes until the Captain broke it again. "How are Cmdr. Ranton and Lt. Pura?"

"They are both fine. Cmdr. Ranton should rest for at least another day," she informed him.

"Good to know. So, now we need a new Counselor. I will inform Starfleet and ask for a replacement." He held Alicia’s gaze and looked for any signs of unease.

"I will miss him," she admitted.

"We all will. He was a good man and friend to many of us," he said quietly. "I will inform you as soon as I’ve got any information from Starfleet."

"Thank you, Captain."

She got up and was stopped before she reached the door. "Doctor?"

She turned on her heels, putting her hands in the pockets of her gown and had a very good hunch what would come next, the muscles in her cheek twitching slightly.

"He was your friend. Would you like to inform his family? I know it’s hard and if you say you can’t, I will understand, but they will take it better from someone they know and like." Richardson knew that they had spent a lot of time together and had even met each other’s families, though he wasn’t sure what kind of relationship they had shared.

"I wouldn’t want anyone else to tell them," she said quietly in her melodic alto voice.

"Thank you, Doctor."

She nodded and went back to sickbay for the rest of her duty shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and Kudos appreciated


	3. August 21, 2437, Time: 13:10:16, SD 114637.12

Counselor Elisabeth Miller was sitting in her office on the U.S.S. Giant, a Sovereign-class vessel, reading a PADD, which told her that her request for transfer was granted. The U.S.S. Explorer had lost its Counselor three days ago and needed a new one now.

The Giant would meet with the Explorer in three days near Bajor where she would join the other ship and her replacement, Counselor Rina L’ore, a Betazoid she had introduced during the last few months, would take her post.

Her door chime rang and Counselor L’ore, a petite woman of about 25 with long black hair, black eyes and a soft face, entered the room.

Elisabeth looked at her with shining blue-gray eyes, a warm smile lying on her classic features as she got up from the desk.

“You seem to be happy, Elisabeth,” Rina stated with a smile of her own and walked up to her superior officer.

Not very tall herself, she still was half a head taller than Rina. She stepped around the desk, brushing back a strand of her shoulder length auburn hair and began to grin.

“I will transfer to the U.S.S. Explorer two days after tomorrow. Unfortunately, they lost their Counselor on an away mission. So this is your ship now,” she said in a husky voice, stunned to see the sadness on the other woman’s face.

“I am happy to be Chief Counselor now, but sad to lose a very good friend,” she admitted with tears in her eyes.

“I will miss you, too, Rina. But it’s time for you to take over and I need a new challenge,” Elisabeth said, winking.

In the beginning, Elisabeth had been skeptical about the Betazoid. She was afraid of her ability to read ones mind but her fears were unfounded and they had soon become close friends, Rina searching for Elisabeth’s advice whenever she was not sure of something.

“You are 53 years old. I admire your ability to not be afraid of anything at that age and I hope I will be like you one day.”

“You will, oh you will. I can see a lot of me in you.” Elisabeth winked and gestured for Rina to take the seat at the desk, though she hoped that Rina wouldn’t be exactly like her.

They talked about the things they had to consider for the rest of their duty shift, though a Counselor was never really off duty. When Elisabeth was in her quarters, she began to pack her things for the transfer.

Rina was right, she was old but she had this unsettling feeling again and needed something new with which to occupy her time. She had never been on a Galaxy-class ship and looked forward to meeting new people and making new friends. This would be her third steady assignment in 20 years. She had spent 7 years on different vessels to gather more experience and she hoped that it wouldn’t be her last assignment. But she was an experienced Counselor and there’d always be jobs for people like her.

The next morning after she had taken a shower, dressed and was ready for breakfast, she received a hail.

“Vinan to Counselor Miller.”

“Miller here, Captain,” she answered standing in front of the replicator.

“Elisabeth, would you like to join me for breakfast?” he asked in a high voice.

“Sure Vick, on my way,” she answered smiling. “Miller out.”

She left her quarters; walked down the corridor in her teal uniform and sounded the chime to Captain Vick Vinan’s quarters three doors down. She entered when he admitted her and spotted him at the replicator.

“Elisabeth, good morning. What can I offer you?” he asked in an amazingly high voice for his huge stature. He was much taller than her, had broad shoulders, short white hair and a finely trimmed beard. Smiling broadly upon seeing her he said, “Take a seat.”

She sat down at the table. “I’d like a glass of orange juice and some pancakes, please.”

He retrieved the breakfast for Elisabeth and coffee and scrambled eggs for himself. “So, how does it feel to join a new crew again?” he asked when he had placed the plates and beverages on the table and sat across from her.

“Thank you.” She took a sip from the juice. “I’m a bit excited as always but I am sure it will be fun.”

“I think so, too. You never had a problem getting used to any new situation,” Vinan acknowledged, eating his breakfast casually. “And the deep space mission the Explorer is heading to for six months, sure is a real challenge for you.”

She had made a lot of friends on the Giant, but there was no person she was too close to. She had avoided this kind of relationship for a very long time and she was happy to not have to worry about hurting someone.

“Thank you, Vick. It will at least be fun.” She smiled brightly. “And Counselor L’ore is a very good officer. She is the best for the job.”

“She learned from the best,” he shot back and took a sip from his coffee.

The conversation went on for a bit longer until they were finished and ready for their duty shift. Elisabeth took the opportunity and said goodbye to the people she knew better than most of the crew of 850 people, most of them belonging to the senior staff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and Kudos appreciated!


	4. August 25, 2437, Time: 08:00:44, SD 114647.49

Alicia was in sickbay getting ready for the welcome of the new Counselor and cursed inwardly.

“Damn it, I don’t need this right now,” she thought to herself.

Over the last six days she had tried to get used to the new situation she was about to face after telling Richard’s family that he was dead and had mourned on her own for some time. They sent a shuttle with his body back to Earth for his family to bury him. She would have liked to have accompanied him, but she had duties to fulfill and wasn’t able to do so. They would be starting a deep space mission via slipstream in one week.

After they picked up Counselor Miller near Bajor, they would fly to Utopia Planitia for a check up before departure. There was no time for her to leave the ship now, as much as she wished it would be possible.

“Richardson to Doctor Schmidt,” her commbadge shook her from her reverie.

“Schmidt here.” She was already up from her seat.

“Counselor Miller is ready to beam on board,” the Captain informed her.

“On my way, Captain. Schmidt out.”

She walked out of her office, told Doctor Thompson that she could be hailed if there was an emergency and left sickbay for the turbolift and the transporter room on Deck 5.

Richardson looked concerned when he saw the emotionless face of his CMO who usually smiled openly. He wished there was another possibility. When Alicia had learned who their new Counselor would be, she asked him to find someone else. He would have liked to do so, but there was nobody available. It was hard to find someone willing to join a deep space mission on such short notice. He had been happy when he learned that Counselor Miller had asked for a transfer and was relieved when she accepted the post on the Explorer.

“Doctor,” he greeted her smiling. She just nodded in acknowledgment.

She stepped next to him, facing the transporter dais and took a calming deep breath.

“Counselor Miller is ready,” the officer at the transporter controls informed them - a young Bolian Ensign with a melodic voice.

“Energize,” Richardson ordered.

“Aye, sir.” Her fingers pressed some final buttons and moved her hands down along the touchpad. The sparkles were replaced by a diminutive woman in a teal uniform with shoulder length auburn hair. Standing on the platform, a typical Starfleet bag hanging from her shoulder, their new Counselor smiled brightly at them.

The rest of her luggage materialized next to her and she stepped down from the dais.

Richardson searched for any signs that might tell him what kind of relationship Alicia and this woman had had, but there were none. The woman didn’t even look like she recognized his CMO at all. Alicia on the other hand seemed aloof like he had never seen her before the warm young woman he knew was replaced by a person he didn’t recognize at all. But she didn’t look like she knew the other woman either.

“Counselor Miller. Welcome on board of the U.S.S. Explorer. I am Captain Richardson,” he introduced himself.

She saluted for a moment and shook the hand he offered for her.

“Thank you, Captain Richardson. I am looking forward to this new challenge,” Elisabeth said in her husky voice smiling up at him, not really acknowledging the presence of the other woman.

“What the hell is she doing here?” Elisabeth thought to herself but didn’t show any discomfort outwardly.

“I hope it will really be a challenge for you. I mean, is there anything you haven’t encountered during your career?” He smiled at her just as brightly while Alicia watched them motionless.

“I am sure, there are some things that can rock even a seasoned officer like me. Or you,” she said winking and knew that he liked her when she saw his bright smile.

“You’re right. But let me introduce you to my Chief Medical Officer, Alicia Schmidt,” he said, gesturing to her and directing their attention to Alicia.

“Doctor Schmidt, it’s nice to see you again.” Elisabeth offered her hand, which Alicia shook for a moment.

“Counselor Miller,” was all Alicia said icily, gazing at Elisabeth with cold eyes.

The smile on Elisabeth’s face didn’t waver for a second and Richardson admired her warm appearance despite the cold welcome from his CMO.

“Counselor, I would like to show you around myself, but we have to get to Utopia Planitia. I will leave you in the capable hands of Doctor Schmidt. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, Captain,” Elisabeth acknowledged.

“But I would like you to join me for dinner tonight, Counselor,” he asked before leaving them to themselves.

“I am honored, Captain.” She shifted the strap of her bag a little.

“So see you at 1915 hours in my quarters,” Richardson made the appointment final.

“I will be there, Captain.” Elisabeth watched him leave and turned to Alicia slowly with a sideways look at the Ensign.

Alicia looked down at Elisabeth. It was hard not to show any of the emotions that were raging through her body at this moment but she managed it.

“What would you like to see first, Counselor Miller?” she asked.

Elisabeth was still smiling and knew that nobody would see what was going on inside of her. She had become very good at covering her feelings during the years.

“Maybe you could show me my office now.” Elisabeth stepped next to Alicia and Alicia led the way out of the transporter room.

The Bolian Ensign watched the exchange with unease, most of all the Doctor’s behavior because she knew her as a friendly, warm and very nice person and she didn’t like this metamorphosis.

They stepped into the turbolift, after the walk along the corridor and Alicia didn’t say anything to Elisabeth who didn’t seem to have the urge to talk, either.

“Deck 10,” Alicia said, cringing inwardly because she didn’t like that the office was on the same deck as sickbay anymore.

It had been a very good arrangement when Richard had been Counselor, but now with Miller she’d prefer it to be on any other deck.

Elisabeth watched Alicia from the corner of her eyes and had to admit that she looked stunning in the blue gown and the teal uniform underneath.

When the turbolift arrived, they stepped off and Alicia began the tour. “This is the so called Medical Deck,” as they walked along the corridor, still sounding cold even to her own ears, but she couldn’t help it. “This is sickbay and your office is this.”

She stopped at the door next to sickbay and opened it by pressing the button next to it.

Elisabeth stepped in first and turned around as soon as the doors swished shut after Alicia.

“Before you say anything, listen to this. I don’t like that you are here,” Alicia began, pinning Elisabeth with an ice-cold glare. “First, Counselor Richard Bronson was a friend of mine and I won’t speak about his death with you, whatever you say or think. Second, I will interact with you as long as my duty is concerned because I have to, but that will be all. Third, I once loved you, but not anymore, because it hurt like hell when you just ran away from me. Leave me the hell alone.”

Elisabeth stared at Alicia with huge, gray eyes because she hadn’t expected her to be this blunt with her.

“You have made yourself perfectly clear, DOCTOR Schmidt,” Elisabeth acknowledged quietly. “If I had known that you’d be here, I wouldn’t have taken the assignment.”

“You sure as hell would have,” Alicia spat, the hurt evident in her voice.

“I won’t force you to show me the rest. Just leave my office and you won’t see me, except as duty requires it.” Elisabeth turned around, put her bag onto the desk and began unpacking her belongings.

Alicia looked at Elisabeth’s back for a moment longer, turned around and left the office to return to her duties in sickbay.

Elisabeth sighed in relief when the doors swished shut again; she rested her hands on the desk and lowered her head, closing her eyes. She hadn’t been prepared to meet Alicia again and it was true that if she had known that Alicia was on the ship, she wouldn’t have accepted. She had avoided her for the last 20 years but had gotten careless by not checking the personnel files before accepting, because she was too relieved to finally find a new ship.

She thought she’d forgotten Alicia and that she didn’t love her anymore but seeing her today reminded her of everything they had shared. It hurt like hell that Alicia had told her in no uncertain terms that she hated her.

She left Alicia without any explanation; not even telling her that she would take the assignment on a starship. She had abandoned the love of her life after two years of a wonderful relationship, for her career because Alicia had just begun her training at the Academy, while she was finished. She could have waited for Alicia but she hadn’t wanted to miss anything and had left.

It had taken her ten years alone, to be able to think about Alicia and not break down crying for hours. It had taken her twice as long not to think about her constantly anymore. Now being with her on the same ship, seeing her on a daily basis would break her heart all over again.

At the beginning she had wanted to contact her; explain everything. But she knew without a doubt, that Alicia would hate her and, it seemed, she had been right.

She didn’t know how she would do it, but she had to be strong. She resolved not to show any emotions around Alicia, because this would be her undoing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and Kudos appreciated!


	5. August 25, 2437, Time: 19:23:26, SD 114648.78

Alicia managed her duty shift in some kind of haze, showering when she returned to her quarters on deck 9. At least she didn’t have to live on the same deck as Elisabeth. She dressed in her workout gear to use her reserved time on the Holodeck. It was the first time she would go for a ride on her own since Richard had died, but she didn’t want to give in and took a deep breath before leaving her quarters again.

She decided to ignore Elisabeth as best she could when they were off duty and met somewhere. On duty, she would treat her aloof, not letting her too close. She had tried to prepare herself for the arrival of Elisabeth but seeing her in the morning again after 20 years had been a shock to say the least.

She walked along the corridor in her long, tight black pants, a tight black muscle shirt, white sport shoes and her blond hair in a tight ponytail and called for the turbolift when she arrived there. She stepped inside, recognizing Elisabeth in the back. While turning her back to Elisabeth, she only acknowledged the Lieutenant in the front, greeting her warmly.

“Alicia, hi. Working out again?” she asked with twinkling green eyes.

“Yeah, you know me, Lisa. How’s it in Engineering?” Alicia asked interested, smiling.

“Well, the crews from UP are there right now. I hope they don’t find any problems,” the dark haired woman answered. “By the way, I didn’t have time to say how sorry I am about Rich’s death. You know that you can come to me, if you need someone to listen.”

The sadness overwhelmed Alicia for a moment, showing on her face, while being painfully aware of the presence at her back. “Yeah, thank you. It’s hard but the injuries were fatal. It’s the first time I’m going biking since he’s dead. But I need the workout.”

“I know what you mean. I try to do the same as often as I can,” Lisa agreed.

“Hey, do you like biking?”

“I can ride a bike if that’s what you mean, but… I’m more like a jogger.”

“Would you like to try biking some time?” Alicia asked.

“Sure. Sometimes I wish I had someone to share the workout with.” Lisa brushed a strand of her short dark hair behind an ear and smiled brightly.

“Ok, let me know when you’ve got time. You know my schedule.” Alicia winked and stepped off the turbolift together with Lisa when it arrived on Deck 4.

“And you know mine,” Elisabeth heard Lisa answer before the doors closed again.

She had heard the sadness in Alicia’s voice and seen it on her face. She instinctively knew that she and the former Counselor had been very close friends. She would like to comfort Alicia but that was out of question. She chastised herself for her behavior 20 years ago but she couldn’t turn back time. She had to keep telling herself that the choice had been hers and work very hard not to fall into self-pity.

She stepped off the lift on Deck 3, walked to the Captain’s quarters and composed herself before ringing the chime.

“Counselor Miller, welcome to my humble quarters,” the Captain greeted her cheerfully, leading her to the table and handing her a glass of white wine.

“Most officers would be happy to have such quarters,” Elisabeth reminded him and smiled.

“Yes, I remember the Spartan quarters when I was an Ensign,” he agreed. “How was your first day?”

“Very interesting and I had my first patient already.” She sat down when Richardson gestured for her to do so.

Richardson was burning to know where Elisabeth and Alicia had met but he didn’t want to ask directly and held some small talk over dinner of pasta with the new Counselor.

When she left his quarters two hours later, she had won a new friend. They had talked a lot about past experiences and though she had joined Starfleet very late, she had twenty years of experience and shared the age with her new Captain as both of them were in their early fifties.

She didn’t feel like retiring yet, chose a random deck and walked along the corridors until she felt tired enough for sleeping.

“Deck 3,” she ordered the turbolift and stepped back when she felt it stop at another deck.

She held her breath upon seeing Alicia there, the skin on her arms and shoulders glistening from sweat, hair damp, and still panting a little bit from exhaustion.

They didn’t acknowledge each other. Alicia just stepped aside when they arrived on deck 3 and Elisabeth stepped out onto the corridor to retreat to her quarters.

Alicia was too exhausted to hold up her guard and watched Elisabeth until the door shut before her and she had to admit that she still looked as good as 20 years ago.

She took another shower when she arrived back in her quarters, changed into her night-wear and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and Kudos appreciated!
> 
> More coming soon, if anyone is interested...


	6. September 1, 2437, Time: 15:33:46, SD 114667.53

One week later, after every little system of the Explorer had been checked, she was ready for the trip. Alicia had had the opportunity to visit her parents and Rich’s family for a few days and was now on her way back to the ship on a shuttle with some other crewmembers.

It had been hard to face his family. They had treated her as if she were a daughter-in-law from early on, in spite of the fact that both she and Rich were gay, and would never marry. As far as they were concerned, she was still part of the family and they would not let her leave without a promise to stay in contact with them. 

In Germany, she had used most of her time to bike with her parents through the green landscape and was now prepared for six months in space.

Her mother Kerstin had immediately felt that something was bothering her because they had always had a very good relationship.

She told her parents from the first day, about her involvement with Elisabeth. Seeing how happy their daughter looked and how she and Elisabeth treated each other, her parents had been happy for them.

When Elisabeth ended the relationship after two wonderful years without a real explanation, Alicia had had a hard time convincing her mother not to follow Elisabeth and rip her head off. From that day on Kerstin Schmidt hated Elisabeth with everything she was and had sworn to kill her if she ever saw her again.

Alicia had been broken. She hadn’t wanted to move on but she knew deep down inside, it wasn’t worth dropping everything she had achieved so far and decided to work harder than ever. She had become the best in her year in the science section, which she had chosen and had studied at the Medical Faculty to become the best doctor graduating that year. Her first assignment had been on the U.S.S. Prometheus, a fight cruiser. It had been a hard time but she had learned a lot during that time and she wouldn’t want to miss a thing.

After Elisabeth had ripped her heart apart, she closed herself off. She had a lot of friends because she was a very sociable person but there had never again been anyone she had let close to her heart. Once at such a young age was enough. She didn’t need this a second time.

On every new vessel, she had made friends very fast but Rich had been the only person who had been able to break through her defenses, maybe because he had told her from the beginning that he wasn’t interested in her; instead looking for men and that had been the start of a wonderful friendship. She had told him everything and he had damned Elisabeth.

“Oh Rich, you must be furious that she’s got your job now. Damn it,” she mumbled under her breath.

During the first days before she went to Earth she had been able to avoid Elisabeth but as soon as they were on their way, it would be impossible. She really didn’t look forward to it. She had even thought about resigning but Captain Richardson would have killed her. It would have been impossible to find a replacement on such short notice. So she had to bear with the situation and ignore Elisabeth as best as she could. It had even been luck for them to find Elisabeth she had to admit, because a six months trip without a Counselor would have been horrible.

“Damn,” she mumbled again.

Her mother hadn’t stopped nagging until she told her that Elisabeth was the new Counselor on the Explorer and Kerstin had nearly hit the roof. She had never heard her mother curse that way before; not even when she had told her that Elisabeth was gone and it amused her and warmed her how protective her mother still was. Not amusing had been the thought of her mother storming the Explorer and killing Elisabeth on the spot and it had taken all her persuasion techniques to stop her. She had told Kerstin that she was a grown woman now and that she wouldn’t let the other woman play with her ever again. She told her about the speech she had given Elisabeth on her arrival and her mother had grinned from ear to ear.

“That’s my girl,” she had said and wrapped her in a strong embrace. “Give her the cold shoulder and flirt with every girl you see. That will rip HER heart apart and she’ll see what she did to my baby girl and what she’s missed.”

Alicia smiled upon remembering this and the smile remained until she arrived at the Explorer as the Shuttle had reached Utopia Planitia.

Captain Richardson was standing near the hatch, talking to Elisabeth who seemed to charm him with her smiles and remarks because he smiled brightly down on her. He was out of uniform, wearing gray trousers and a gray shirt but it was Elisabeth she was unable to take her eyes off of. She was wearing black slacks but not the ones from a Starfleet uniform. These were tight at the thighs and became wider the further down they went much like her own, covering her shoes but most likely, black high heels. She wore a white blouse and her shoulder length auburn hair fell on her shoulders loosely.

“Alicia!” someone called her name and she turned around.

It was Lisa, the Lieutenant from Engineering, smiling at her brightly while fighting her way through the crowd.

“Lisa, hi. How are you?” she asked when the dark haired woman was with her.

“I am fine thanks and you?” She was wearing tight blue slacks, a matching shirt and loafers and her green eyes sparkled upon seeing Alicia smile.

As Alicia hadn’t stopped far from Richardson and Elisabeth, Elisabeth was able to hear every word and did so while listening to the Captain’s story.

“I am also fine, though it was hard to meet with Rich’s family in person. But they don’t blame me. They know that I did everything I could,” Alicia explained.

“You’re right. You were the doctor who tried to save him. I didn’t think about that. But it’s good they don’t blame you and they are right. You are the best doctor I know.” Lisa winked and lifted her shoulder.

“I told you to try biking some time,” Alicia said winking.

“Sure, when’s your next workout?”

“Usually today, but I was biking with my parents. You know, the real fresh air and everything,” she explained and she had an idea. “But I’ve got the Holodeck time. Would you like to take a walk with me through a nice forest?”

Lisa seemed to be stunned for a minute, looking at Alicia with wide eyes. “I’d like that. When do you want me to be there?” she asked smiling brightly.

“1900 hours at Holodeck 2.” Alicia was sure that Elisabeth had overheard the conversation and she wanted to make good use of the advice her mother had given her.

“Okay, see you later. I’ve got to report to Engineering now.” Lisa stepped onto the Explorer and was gone within seconds.

Alicia looked after her with a smile on her face and realized that she was being watched. She turned around and found Captain Richardson and Elisabeth smiling at her.

“That’s the Alicia Schmidt I know,” Richardson thought to himself and walked up to her, followed by Elisabeth.

“Doctor Schmidt, I hope your trip to Earth was all right?” he asked her politely.

He realized that she didn’t acknowledge Elisabeth, but smiled at him brightly.

She put her hands in the pockets of her black pants under the loose white shirt she was wearing and knew that this gesture showed off her ample chest very nicely as a lot of men had told her in the past.

Elisabeth watched the exchange without letting on how overwhelmed she was by the sensual and self-confident woman Alicia had become.

“Yes, my parents will miss me very much and Counselor Bronson’s family was happy to see me. I had to promise them to stay in contact,” she relayed to him.

“I am so very sorry that you had to lose a very good friend,” he assured her.

“That’s life, isn’t it? But the hurt makes you stronger and shapes you into the person you are, don’t you agree?” she asked quietly and knew exactly what impact these words would have on Elisabeth.

“Damn, she’s good at that,” Elisabeth thought and it hurt like hell.

She had thought that she’d only been a crush for Alicia and that she would take the breakup lightly but she’d been wrong. It had hit Alicia deeper than she could have imagined.

“I totally agree and you are one of the strongest women I know,” he confirmed and Alicia was delighted by his words though she didn’t show it.

“Thank you, Captain. I will report to Sickbay now, and update before the mission,” she smiled at him one last time and strode off confidently.

“I like her very much,” he said conversationally and looked down at Elisabeth when Alicia had disappeared.

“She’s a nice person, yes.” Elisabeth smiled but she would have liked to run screaming to her quarters and cry for hours. “I will get an update, too,” she said, excusing herself this way and went inside when Richardson nodded in acknowledgment.

Whatever their relationship had been, it was now one of open hostility and he hadn’t been able to miss the tension between these strong women. Though Alicia hadn’t looked at Elisabeth once, he was sure her statements were as much meant for her as for him.

For her part, it had been love at first sight. She had been delighted when Alicia had answered her advances despite the difference in age but she had assumed that it had been just a crush on Alicia’s part, not realizing that the declarations of love from Alicia were exactly that. She hadn’t wanted to leave Alicia but she had to go on with her life and Alicia was only in her second year at the Academy at that time. They had talked about what they wanted to do and Alicia knew early on that she wanted to become a doctor. That meant for her, another six years in San Francisco and Elisabeth hadn’t been ready to stay and wait that long.

She went to her quarters, changed into her teal uniform and left again, soon entering her office on deck 10 next to Sickbay, and it drove her crazy knowing that Alicia was one door down, and still a galaxy away from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and Kudos appreciated!


	7. September 16, 2437, Time: 11:13:07, SD 114708.13

The take off had been no problem. They had been on their way for two weeks now and Alicia was in her office, writing a report about a broken leg during an exercise on the Holodeck. 

She tried to shut any thought about Elisabeth out, ignored her when they were off duty but she was unable not to think about her from time to time.

“Miller to Doctor Schmidt,” her commbadge sounded.

“Schmidt here,” she answered and sat back in her chair, rubbing her face.

“Do you have some time for me? I’m concerned about a patient,” Elisabeth asked in her husky voice.

“I am in my office. Schmidt out.”

She had to admit that her work-relationship with Elisabeth was great, very professional and she liked her work and the insights Elisabeth often had in special situations.

Alicia watched Elisabeth walk along the wall of glass in front of her office, she strode up to her desk and handed Alicia a PADD she had been carrying. She sat down opposite Alicia when she gestured to the chair.

“You think, there might be a neurological cause,” Alicia stated when she had read the report, looking up at Elisabeth with bright eyes.

“I’ve seen these kinds of symptoms before and in three of four cases I was right,” Elisabeth answered confidently.

Alicia knew her brilliant personnel file, remembered what a great student she had been at the Psychological Faculty and she didn’t doubt her judgment for a second.

“Do you think, there will be a problem with Ensign Harris, if I call him for an unscheduled checkup?” She pinned Elisabeth with her eyes and waited for the answer.

One of her hands held the PADD, the other was deep in the pocket of her blue gown and she was totally at ease. Though she knew what threat this woman could mean to her on a personal and emotional level she was convinced that she would do nothing while they were on duty.

“He might be suspicious but I would like to prepare him for the results. I wanted to know your opinion before I told him anything. And I know that I could be wrong but he should know everything,” Elisabeth explained.

“Okay, thank you, Counselor. Send him to me as soon as you think he is ready. But why do you think, this hasn’t been recognized before?” Alicia wanted to know, interested in what Elisabeth would say.

“I only know about this kind of disease because I had one very acute case where it had nearly been impossible to rescue the Lieutenant and it is very rare. You might overlook the signs for what they are. And you know: Discretion is the better part of valor,” Elisabeth said, winking and smiling.

Alicia had to admit that Elisabeth was good at her job and very good at diplomacy since she hadn’t tried to goof on Rich and she smiled slightly.

Elisabeth was delighted to see the small smile on Alicia’s face and resolved that life wasn’t that bad after all.

“Right, but I still hope that you are wrong. Not because I want you to fail but for the sake of the Ensign,” Alicia assured Elisabeth.

“I know. It would be a real relief to learn that I was wrong, believe me, Doctor Schmidt,” Elisabeth confirmed.

“Okay, so, if that’s all. I have a patient waiting for me.” Alicia got up and Elisabeth followed suit.

“Sure, my next patient is due any minute, too. Have a nice day.” Elisabeth left sickbay and went back to her office where she spent the rest of the day working.


	8. September 16, 2437, Time: 18:18:51, SD 114708.94

Alicia was sitting at a table in the mess hall, beginning with her dinner when Captain Richardson stepped up to her table.

“May I join you, Miss Schmidt?” he asked, making totally clear with his question that they were off duty.

He was wearing his uniform slacks, the gray-blue long-sleeved shirt but no tunic and his boots like herself and looking down at her with a smile.

“Have a seat, Captain,” she offered with a gesture and he sat down opposite her.

“Please call me at least Mr. Richardson if we are off duty,” he asked, while preparing his utensils.

“Thank you, Captain, but it will be hard to get used to,” she admitted, eating some of her salad.

Richardson grinned and looked over Alicia’s shoulder where he saw Elisabeth enter and followed her with his eyes until she had ordered her food and was searching for a seat.

“Elisabeth,” he tried to get her attention.

She hadn’t seen Richardson and least of all Alicia sitting at a table to the side, when she decided that she would like to join Commander Ranton, having gotten to know him during the last weeks. She liked his dry humor, but you couldn’t reject an invitation from the Captain, even if you didn’t like the company he was in. She shrugged in Ranton’s direction and he nodded smiling.

Alicia didn’t know what Richardson was up to but it seemed to her like he wanted them to interact and if that’s what he wanted, she would do just that.

Elisabeth was wearing the same as Alicia and Richardson, stepping up to them now and smiling brightly.

“Eric, Miss Schmidt,” she greeted them, tray in hand.

“Have a seat, Elisabeth,” Richardson gestured next to him.

“Thank you.” She sat down and put the tray down as well, still smiling.

“Already on a first-name basis with the Captain,” Alicia thought to herself. She knew that it must be due to them being the same age.

Richardson smiled, looking back and forth between both women, who as always avoided direct eye contact and the tension was there again. He couldn’t deny that both looked stunning no matter what they were wearing though.

“I have to say, I’ve seldom seen such a good team as the two of you,” he said conversationally, eating his steak, and waited for their acknowledgments.

Alicia had already admitted this in the past few weeks and knew that he thought that way. Her smile didn’t waver for a second but she didn’t look at Elisabeth. “It’s easy to work with Counselor Miller. She is one of the best I’ve ever met.”

Elisabeth was stunned by this compliment and it was obvious on her face. “Thanks to both of you. But I have to say that I have met doctors who weren’t as open to my opinion as Doctor Schmidt.”

“I’d say it’s due to the fact that they didn’t know you.” Richardson knew that they had met. Alicia’s request had hinted as much but he also knew that they weren’t comfortable around each other.

“That’s a good reason, yes.” It wasn’t necessary to say anything more. Elisabeth didn’t want anyone to know what had happened between them 20 years ago if they didn’t already know. 

“It was interesting to read both of your reports this morning, but I really hope that you are wrong, Elisabeth,” Richardson said seriously.

“Me, too, Eric. Me, too. I hated every single time I had to bring this disease to the attention of a doctor but it’s what is best for the patient, isn’t it?” The compassion was evident in Elisabeth’s husky voice and Richardson knew why she was such a good Counselor.

“Yes, it is,” Alicia confirmed, meeting Elisabeth’s eyes for the first time this evening and was mesmerized by their depths, like so many years ago as a young cadet, fresh at the Academy.

She had been totally flattered when Elisabeth first asked her out on a date. She fell in love with her almost instantly and only two weeks later they’d agreed to try a relationship. It lasted for two years until Elisabeth had ended it.

Something within Elisabeth ignited when she met the sky blue eyes of Alicia and she couldn’t take hers off Alicia anymore.

Richardson was fascinated by the sparks flying between the two women and knew at this moment, that they’d been in love and from what he saw, still were.

“Alicia, there you are,” Lisa’s voice broke the moment. “Oh, Captain, Counselor,” she greeted them when she was standing next to the Doctor.

Alicia lifted her gaze and looked at the Lieutenant, smiling brightly, which was probably an aftereffect from the gaze of Elisabeth, who watched the young women with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Sorry, is it already that late?” Alicia asked perplexed, and ate the last of her salad.

“No, I had some time left and I thought I’d take you to the Holodeck,” Lisa answered with sparkling green eyes.

“Thank you.” Alicia winked at Lisa and looked at the older officers. “If you’ll excuse me, please.”

“Have a nice date,” Richardson said before Alicia followed Lisa.

The word “date” sounded through Elisabeth’s head long after Alicia had left them. It was once again obvious to her that she had lost a very special gift and would never get it back.

Richardson was quiet for some time, finishing his steak and watched the Counselor from the corner of his eyes who didn’t show that anything was out of order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and Kudos appreciated!


	9. September 27, 2437, Time: 10:27:24, SD 114738.18

“Schmidt to Counselor Miller,” Elisabeth was interrupted while writing a report.

“Miller here,” she answered after slapping her commbadge.

“Would you please come to my office?” Alicia’s voice sounded serious and Elisabeth felt uneasy when she got up.

“On my way,” she acknowledged and left her office to step into Alicia’s a few moments later, after crossing Sickbay.

She sat down across from Alicia, took the PADD she offered and read its contents, sighing with relief.

“It’s good to be proven wrong sometimes,” she said cheerfully and looked up into the eyes of her fellow officer.

“Richardson to Counselor Miller,” Elisabeth was hailed.

“Miller here,” she answered.

“Counselor, the team will be ready in 15 minutes. Meet them in Transporter room 1,” the Captain ordered.

“Understood, Captain. Miller out.” She got up to retreat to her office. “Excuse me, I’ve got some things to take care of before the away mission.”

Alicia just nodded and felt uneasy because this reminded her of the last time she had seen Rich safe and healthy before his away mission. What she hadn’t expected was the pain she felt upon thinking that something might happen to Elisabeth and she despised the feeling. She recognized that she already cared too much for Elisabeth again and resolved to distance herself from her even more because she didn’t want to get hurt again by the same woman.

Elisabeth went back to her office; looked through the data they had a final time and met the away team in the Transporter room from where she, Ranton, two Security Officers and a Science Officer were beamed to the surface.

The negotiations went very well and when they were done, they beamed back to the Explorer where she relayed the information for the Captain. Done with that she went back to her office for the rest of her duty shift.


	10. December 1, 2437, Time: 08:09:36, SD 114916.00

For the next two months Alicia and Elisabeth hardly met and when they did, they didn’t speak much. Elisabeth recognized the change in Alicia’s demeanor at once. She didn’t smile anymore when Elisabeth was around and she asked herself what was wrong, what had changed.

Right now, she didn’t have time to think about it. They had arrived in an unknown part of space and they were about to make first contact with a new species. She as the Counselor would lead the negotiations but her gut feeling from what she had heard so far told her that something was wrong. She had been present when the Captain contacted them for the first time as they had a similar level of technology and the behavior of the aliens didn’t add up. What they said and how they held themselves was unsteady to say the least. She was no empath but she had enough experience and she realized when her intuition told her to be careful, she should heed this feeling.

She told the Captain about it and he gave them four Security Officers. Every member of the away team would wear a Phaser and there would be Ranton, the Chief of Security Lt. Comdr. Michael Donavan as well as the Chief Engineer Lt Pura. The Transporter Chief was ordered to hold a close track on them and to beam them up as soon as he heard that there was any trouble.

“Counselor, be careful please,” the Captain asked when he stood in front of the Transporter platform with the members of the away team in front of him on the dais.

“Don’t worry, Captain. Everything will be fine, see you later,” she said winking.

With curt nods they showed that they were ready and were beamed to the surface of a very hot and humid planet. They were soon escorted to the town hall by some tall, greenish aliens with skin like reptiles and mean dark green eyes. Elisabeth realized at once that the four guards were exchanging looks and she didn’t like that at all.

She informed the Chief of Security about it and he told her that he had also seen it. With hands on their Phasers, they moved on and suddenly they were attacked by a group of about five aliens while the guards got out of the way and watched the scene unfold.

As they were prepared that something might be wrong one of the Security Officers was able to hail the Explorer. They fired as accurately as they could but Elisabeth was distracted for a second and didn’t see the Phaser blasts from the aliens coming. Everything went black around her.


	11. December 6, 2437, Time: 09:23:54, SD 114929.84

During the next five days, Elisabeth’s condition stabilized again. There was only a minor heart attack on the second day which made four with the three on the day of her injury but in general, she was in good shape.

Richardson visited Elisabeth on a regular basis, a lot of crewmembers asked about her and Alicia hardly left Sickbay. She spent the nights in an adjoining room and watched over Elisabeth with eagle eyes.

“How’s our patient?” Richardson asked smiling, walking into sickbay and telling the officers saluting to relax.

Alicia looked up from a cut she was mending on a Lieutenant’s forearm from an exercise in the Holodeck, returning the smile fondly.

“She’s fine. I will wake her tomorrow if she doesn’t do so herself before then,” she answered, dismissing the officer in a red uniform when she was done.

She joined Richardson at Elisabeth’s biobed, gazing down on Elisabeth who was looking peaceful. Her auburn hair was lying on the blue pillow, her shoulders bare under the blue sheet and she was breathing in a strong, steady rhythm.

“Elisabeth is a fighter,” he said quietly. “I’ve seldom met a woman with such a strong will. She’s like you in many ways, Doctor.”

Alicia looked at Elisabeth with an unreadable expression on her face and Richardson realized that the last few days had changed his CMO profoundly. Nearly losing someone shows you how much they mean to you and it was no different with Alicia. He liked her very much. She reminded him of his daughter of the same age, in many ways and he felt a bit protective of her. Though he knew that she was strong and able to look after herself.

“I’ve got duties to get back to. Take care, Doctor.” He smiled at Alicia and left Sickbay.

It was a busy day. Almost all the crew seemed to visit it because of an injury. Most of them minor ones but by the time her duty shift was over, Alicia was looking forward to falling onto the bed next door and sleeping for days.

Before she did that, she went to Elisabeth’s biobed, looking down on her, when suddenly Elisabeth grimaced and moaned quietly.

Alicia watched Elisabeth opening her blue-gray eyes slowly, blinking a few times because of the bright light and finally focusing on Alicia’s face.

Elisabeth felt like she had been thrown from a very high mountain. Every muscle in her body ached, most of all her head and her chest and she took some deep breaths, which hurt even more. She was happy to see the smiling face of Alicia, the concerned eyes and the strand of blond hair, which had escaped from the ponytail and caressed her fair cheek.

“Hi there,” Alicia whispered, relieved to see that Elisabeth was finally herself again. “How are you?”

Elisabeth tried to swallow and clear her throat, which hurt like hell and she closed her eyes again, breathing quietly for some time.

Alicia retrieved a glass of water, went back to the biobed and helped Elisabeth drink some much-needed gulps.

“Thank you,” Elisabeth croaked when she was lying back on the pillow again. “What happened?”

“You were hit in the lower abdomen by a Phaser. And you had a slight concussion from hitting the floor,” Alicia explained and she didn’t like what she had to say next. “That wasn’t the worst though.”

“What do you mean?” Elisabeth asked quietly, her voice still raspy and she had to swallow from time to time, her eyes resting on Alicia.

“You had four heart-attacks and we had to leave you unconscious for five days.” Alicia didn’t take her eyes off Elisabeth, looking for her reaction.

Elisabeth closed her eyes, lifted an arm from under the blue sheet, matching Alicia’s gown and covered her eyes with the elegant hand, breathing deeply despite the hurt.

She had never before had a heart-attack and she had always thought she was in good shape despite her age of 53. Learning this now, showed her how short life was and that it could be over any minute. She could have been dead if not for the skills and insistence of this young woman and she knew that she owed her life to her. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling. She felt them stream down her face and the sob escaping from her throat, hurt very much but she couldn’t stop it either.

Alicia had seen Elisabeth vulnerable before, but never in the two years they had been together had she seen her cry and she suddenly felt very protective of Elisabeth. She instinctively put a hand on a shaking shoulder and heard Elisabeth gasp but she didn’t take it away.

The cool hand on her hot skin, felt good but she hadn’t expected Alicia to touch her and it was a little shock. The tears slowly subsided; she wiped her face with her hand and looked up into the eyes of her ex-lover, which were filled with unbelievable compassion.

“I am tired,” Elisabeth whispered weakly.

“Okay, I will leave you alone.” Alicia began to turn around, when she felt a hand on her forearm and looked down on it, following the arm until she met the gray eyes.

Fear was evident on Elisabeth’s face. She swallowed convulsively and tightened her grip on the strong arm.

“I don’t want to be alone,” she whispered hoarsely.

Alicia was torn between giving in and not wanting Elisabeth too close yet but after a short debate with herself, the compassion won out and she nodded. She took the chair from previous days to sit down next to Elisabeth.

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Lie down if you feel better. It’s enough to know that you are here,” Elisabeth whispered, not taking her eyes off Alicia.

Alicia took a quick shower, dressed in black sweat pants and a matching t-shirt and got comfortable on a biobed next to Elisabeth who didn’t take her eyes away as long as Alicia was in the room with her.

Elisabeth felt safe, knowing that Alicia was with her. She had saved her life at least four times and she was thankful like never before in her life.

They didn’t speak anymore and soon after Alicia was lying on the bed, Elisabeth yawned, closed her eyes and was asleep within seconds. The regular breaths soothed Alicia’s nerves and it didn’t take long before she slept herself.

The night was quiet, Alicia woke up once and made sure that Elisabeth was all right before she fell asleep again.


	12. December 7, 2437, Time: 07:12:38, SD 114932.33

Elisabeth opened her eyes. She was a bit disoriented until she saw the occupant of the bed next to her and the memories returned with a vengeance which made her gasp. She didn’t like to be vulnerable but she didn’t want to risk another heart attack and stayed put, watching the sleeping woman who was totally oblivious of her surroundings.

After some time, Alicia began to stir, opened her eyes slowly and the first thing she saw were Elisabeth’s blue-gray eyes, watching her intently.

“You seem to feel better,” Alicia said, sitting up and dangling her feet in the air, while stretching. Her t-shirt rode up a bit, exposing the skin of her flat stomach. Elisabeth began to grin and closed her eyes while yawning.

“Much better, yes. Thank you. Am I allowed to eat something?” she asked as her stomach rumbled. “And maybe get dressed?” she shrugged for emphasis, directing Alicia’s attention to her bare shoulders.

“Do you feel strong enough to get up?” Alicia stood and closed the distance between them, looking down on Elisabeth, appearing very fragile and weak.

“I don’t want to meet visitors without wearing anything,” Elisabeth said, looking down her body uneasily.

Alicia opened the biobed, helped Elisabeth sit up and guided her to the bathroom, which took some time and exhausted Elisabeth quickly.

She took a seat on the rim of the bathtub, breathing heavily while Alicia replicated some sweatpants and a t-shirt for Elisabeth in blue and returned to her patient. Elisabeth was sitting there, covered in the blue sheet, looking up at Alicia with tired eyes and her breath was slow again now.

“While we’re at it… may I take a shower, too?” Elisabeth looked at Alicia pleadingly.

Alicia knew that Elisabeth was too weak to do this alone.

“I will get a nurse to help you,” Alicia said.

“Thank you,” Elisabeth agreed relieved and knew that she couldn’t ask Alicia to assist her though she would have liked her to do it.

While a nurse helped Elisabeth cleaning up and getting dressed, Alicia got into her uniform again. She brushed her hair before pulling it back in her usual loose ponytail and covered herself in her blue gown, ready for duty.

She left her office and was relieved to see Elisabeth sitting on the bed. She seemed to be exhausted, but nothing else was out of order and she smiled at Alicia, when she entered Sickbay again.

“How do you feel?” Alicia stepped next to her, examining Elisabeth intently.

“A shower and fresh clothes always help. And as soon as I eat something, I’ll be ready for duty again,” Elisabeth joked, hoping Alicia would agree anyway.

“At least another four days of rest before you can even think about it again,” Alicia corrected and hefted a stern look at her patient.

“Yes, Doctor Schmidt.” Elisabeth sounded meek and looked down on her elegant hands, folded in her lap.

She had to suppress the smirk that wanted to break out on her face and made room for the nurse, putting the tray with breakfast in front of Elisabeth whose face brightened again. It was a glass of orange juice and a plate with scrambled eggs.

“Schmidt to Captain Richardson,” Alicia said after she had slapped her commbadge.

“Richardson here,” they heard after a moment and Alicia wondered briefly what the delay had been about.

“Captain, I am glad to inform you that Counselor Miller is up and about,” she said, gazing at Elisabeth.

“That’s good to know. Thank you, Doctor. I will be there shortly. Richardson out.”

While Alicia spoke with the Captain, Elisabeth was eating, concentrating on not spilling any eggs and cursing inwardly because of the pain that began in her chest again. She dropped the fork, pressed a hand to her chest and tried to breathe calmly.

Alicia didn’t miss this, looking at Elisabeth concerned. “Does your heart hurt?”

“No,” Elisabeth croaked. “Just a little trouble breathing.” She took deep slow breaths, closing her eyes and after a few moments the pain subsided. “I should eat more slowly.”

Richardson entered Sickbay to find Elisabeth in pain and Alicia tending to her.

When Elisabeth was finished, the Captain stepped up to her bed. He asked her some questions while Alicia cared for other patients needing her attention. Alicia felt Elisabeth’s eyes following her the whole time long.

Alicia was standing at a console, entering some data when the Sickbay doors opened, admitting an Ensign who supported an injured Lisa, guiding her to a nearby biobed.

She looked at the burned hand and forearm after she had taken away the cloth covering the wound and Lisa flinched from the pain.

“What happened?” Alicia asked not meeting Lisa’s eyes, instead looking at the Ensign.

After their walk through the artificial Black Forest in the Holodeck, they had begun to workout on a weekly basis together and their friendship had grown. Alicia realized that Lisa wanted more, but she knew that she was occupied with thoughts of Elisabeth and had to admit that she still had strong feelings for Elisabeth. She didn’t return the advances of the Engineer.

“We were working in a Jeffries tube and one of the panels exploded,” the Ensign explained while Alicia mended the injury with the necessary tools.

Elisabeth watched Lisa looking at Alicia with a smile despite the pain and she recognized that the Engineer was about or had already fallen in love with the Doctor. The reaction she saw from Alicia, who avoided direct eye contact with the dark haired woman, startled Elisabeth and she was thrilled to realize that Alicia didn’t encourage Lisa.

“Counselor, how are you?” Lisa asked while Alicia discussed safety with the Ensign and repaired the wound.

“I’m fine, thank you, Lieutenant. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much.”

Lisa looked down on her forearm, up into Alicia’s face and back to Elisabeth again. “The pain is bearable and I’ve got a very good doctor looking after me.”

Elisabeth realized from the tensing of Alicia’s shoulders that she was listening to the conversation and felt uneasy that the women were talking about her.

“Yes, she is a great doctor,” Elisabeth agreed, now lying relaxed on her back again, propped up against some pillows.

Alicia realized at this moment that she had to tell Lisa that there would never be anything between them. She didn’t want to hurt the woman when it was too late. They had only spent one evening a week, biking together and she had declined any offer for a date.

Lisa smiled at Alicia fondly who now looked at the dark haired woman. “Everything is all right again. Fit for biking tonight?”

“Sure. Thank you, Doctor. See you tonight,” Lisa said before leaving Sickbay together with the Ensign.

Now it was Elisabeth’s turn to feel uneasy as she witnessed the two women making an appointment to meet in private. Maybe she had been wrong with her assumption and Alicia was interested in Lisa after all.


	13. December 7, 2437, Time: 18:46:26, SD 114933.65

It had become quiet in Sickbay as the night watch began. Elisabeth was sitting on the biobed reading a story from a PADD before she went to sleep. She watched Alicia leave her office in her workout gear, tight black pants, black muscle shirt and white sport shoes. The blond hair was in a tight ponytail and Elisabeth admired her swaying hips, the bountiful chest and the whole body like she had done 20 years ago.

“See you later,” Alicia said and stopped when Elisabeth called after her.

“Doctor Schmidt, wait. You don’t have to stay with me anymore. I’m fine,” she explained, gazing at Alicia with storm gray eyes.

“It’s my duty.”

“No, it’s not. There are nurses looking after me,” Elisabeth disagreed.

“What can you do to stop me from looking after you?” Alicia asked icily. 

“Nothing, I know. Have fun.” Elisabeth was quiet now, returning to read and didn’t see the gaze from Alicia.

She didn’t want to show her attraction to Elisabeth yet. She wanted her to squirm for a while but she felt the love from 20 years ago as strong as it was then and she was surprised about it to say the least. She looked at Elisabeth with warm eyes and had to suppress the smirk.

“See you later,” she said again and left Sickbay to join Lisa in the Holodeck.

The dark haired woman was wearing tight, short blue pants, a blue t-shirt, white sport shoes, her short hair tousled and green eyes sparkling from the bright smile.

Alicia liked the Engineer, she was nice, compassionate and she looked very good, but they had hardly anything in common apart from biking. They were nearly the same age. They could talk about a lot of things but these things were not as important for Alicia as they were for Lisa. She realized that the relationship with Elisabeth had formed her from the beginning and that she had other expectations than a lot of women of her own age.

“Any problems with the arm?” Alicia said by way of greeting and got onto her bike.

“No, thanks to you everything is great. As I told the Counselor you are a very good doctor.” Lisa followed suit.

They began to drive along a concrete road, flanked by green grass and the landscape soon changed into a forest and the path rose slightly.

“Alicia, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?” Lisa suddenly asked.

She had debated with herself how to broach the topic and was relieved that the dark haired woman had taken the initiative.

“Lisa, there is something I have to talk about with you,” Alicia began seriously and the other woman looked at her quizzically. “I like you and I enjoy our friendship but I see that you are interested in me in another way…”

“Oh! I’m sorry. I was so sure you were gay.” Lisa sounded disappointed. 

“No, that’s not it at all,” Alicia corrected her. “I am gay, but I can’t reciprocate your feelings. My heart already belongs to someone else. I’m sorry.”

Lisa was quiet for a while and Alicia was happy that she didn’t run away at once.

“I appreciate that you are honest with me. I have to admit that I knew you were not interested in me from the first day I saw you. I mean, we worked together for two years and there would have been enough opportunities if you’d wanted to. You closed yourself off and the only person who was close to you was Rich. Only after his death and when the Counselor came on board you opened up very slowly. I know that you’re in love with her.”

“Am I that obvious?” Alicia asked shocked and stopped riding.

“No, you’re not. But I felt the tension between you from the beginning. There must be an unresolved issue between the both of you. I hope that you will be able to work it out.” Lisa smiled at her now. “My offer still holds. If you need someone to talk to, you know where I am.”

“Thank you, but there is only one person I can talk to about this.” Alicia smiled ruefully.

“Good luck.”

The rest of the ride was spent in companionable silence. Alicia was relieved that she hadn’t hurt Lisa too much; thankful for the distance she had kept from the rest of the crew on an intimate level. They agreed to keep their appointments on a regular basis, determined to deepen their friendship and now that both knew where they stood Alicia was able to speak with her more openly and tell her things she had only told Rich before.


	14. December 14, 2437, Time: 10:33:23, SD 114951.89

Elisabeth recovered slowly during the next week. Alicia tried to keep her distance again because she didn’t want to make it easy for Elisabeth, and ordered her to her quarters to rest for another two days.

“Alicia, do you have some time for me?” Doctor Thompson asked, entering the office of the CMO, who was writing a report.

“Sure, have a seat, Joe,” Alicia said, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk. “What can I do for you?”

“Nothing,” he said smiling. “The question is, what I can do for YOU?”

“What do you mean?” Alicia put the PADD down and looked at him curiously.

His deep blue eyes sparkled from his bright smile but he became serious in the next instant. “The fact that Counselor Miller had four heart-attacks, though she never had problems before, disturbed me. I did some tests and found something which explains the reaction.”

Alicia looked at him uneasily, not liking the sound of it at all.

“You should take a look at the results yourself,” he suggested as he got up and left the office without waiting for Alicia.

She sighed, followed him to Sickbay and spotted him at a console where he had brought up some stats.

“This is the reaction from Counselor Bronson to the Phaser blasts. Everything looks normal,” he pointed at the upper screen which showed a normal swung line. “And this is the reaction from Counselor Miller.”

The second screen showed a line that was erratic with a lot of ups and downs. Alicia looked at him, not comprehending what this was all about.

“I don’t know how and why but the Phaser blasts from the aliens reacted with something in the Counselor’s body,” Joe explained, calling up another picture. “This is the reaction from Commander Ranton and as you can see, there is no difference to the one from Counselor Bronson.”

“Do you think, this could threaten Counselor Miller’s life?” Alicia asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“I don’t think so. It would have killed her shortly after the attack but the substance or whatever it was, is gone by now.”

Alicia sighed in relief. “Do you think it is due to the aliens or could this happen again?”

“It looks like it had something to do with these particular aliens,” Joe answered seriously and looked at Alicia.

“That’s reassuring. I want to thank you that you researched this and found the answer. I was clueless because there hadn’t been any problems mentioned in her file.” Alicia smiled at him thankfully.

“No problem. I couldn’t get it out of my mind either.” Joe was called to a patient and Alicia smiled at him one more time.

Seven decks higher, Elisabeth was lying on her sofa the whole day, PADD in hand and relaxing as the doctor had ordered her to do.

“Come,” she called when her door chimed and she sat up a bit straighter.

Richardson entered her VIP-quarters, carrying a small package in one hand. An uneasy feeling rose in Elisabeth’s stomach. It looked to her like the feelings from the Captain for her ran deeper and she didn’t want to hurt him, so she had to tell him that she wasn’t interested. Over the years a lot of men had been interested in her but she had told every single one that she wasn’t interested in a relationship and it had never been a problem, because most men appreciated honesty and clear boundaries.

“Eric, have a seat, please,” she said smiling, gesturing to the armchair next to the sofa.

“How are you, Elisabeth?” he asked, handing her the package before sitting down.

“I am fine again, thank you,” she answered quietly. “I can’t take this whatever it is.”

“Why not?” Richardson smiled at her brightly.

“I am not interested in you romantically and if this is…”

“This is a present from one friend to the other,” he interrupted her and she lifted an eyebrow. “I know that your heart isn’t free; that you already love someone else.”

She sank back in the cushions, put the package on her stomach and covered her face with both hands, breathing deeply. “What makes you think that?”

“I see how you look at Doctor Schmidt. I know that you met before and I slowly realized that you had a relationship. She even requested of me to find another Counselor but it was impossible. I am sure she even tinkered with the idea of transferring to another ship. She would have done, if not for the deep space mission and her sense of duty that we need her,” he explained smiling, pointing at the present. “I am curious what you think about it.”

With a clear conscience she was now able to accept the gift, opening the small red box slowly, revealing a thin silver bracelet.

“Eric, I can’t take this. You can’t give me such a thing,” Elisabeth said in awe, looking down at the fine band of silver on a red cushion.

“Yes, I can and I have, haven’t I?” he asked winking.

He took the bracelet, put it on her wrist and she hugged him, kissing him on the cheek.

The door chimed again and Elisabeth ordered the visitor in without releasing Richardson. As soon as the doors swished open and she saw Alicia standing there, she pushed away from Richardson. Before she was able to say anything, Alicia turned on her heels with a sad expression on her face and was gone within seconds.

When she saw Elisabeth hugging Richardson, her heart broke once again and she hadn’t missed the bracelet dangling from her right wrist.

“So, the Captain and Elisabeth are involved,” she thought sadly, returning to Sickbay and finishing her duty shift automatically, not able to feel anything or form a coherent thought apart from being a doctor.


	15. January 10, 2438, Time: 23:56:11, SD 115027.39

During the next few weeks, Elisabeth tried to talk to Alicia but every time she attempted to broach the subject, Alicia withdrew, reducing their contact to a professional level. Until now she had avoided writing an impersonal message. She wanted to be face to face with Alicia when she told her the truth, but it was impossible for her to reach her this way. When she couldn’t take it any longer she decided to do so anyway.

Alicia hurt like hell… again. She couldn’t believe how stupid she had been… again, believing that Elisabeth would still reciprocate her feelings, instead being totally oblivious to the fact that Elisabeth had started a relationship with the Captain… of all people.

She could barely look into his eyes when they had to interact. She retreated again, vowing to never ever let anyone close again because nothing was worth this hurt. She hardly smiled anymore, adopting the aloofness she had used when Elisabeth first arrived on the ship.

She spent most of her free time in Sickbay, working far into the beta shift and falling asleep totally exhausted only to wake up before alpha shift even started and worked almost endlessly.

It was almost midnight one night when she sat in her office, writing a report about an accident with an away mission when her terminal beeped, signaling an incoming message. It was from Elisabeth. She wanted to delete it without reading it but the small part of hope within her didn’t let her do so and she began to read warily.

~~  
From: Elisabeth Miller  
To: Alicia Schmidt  
Subject: It’s up to you…

Ally,

I know what it looked like the other night and I wanted to explain it to you in person but you won’t let me, so I will have to do it this way and hope that you will at least read this message though I could understand if you’d just deleted it…

I hugged Eric because he had given me this bracelet AS A FRIEND as we had just clarified.

He knows that I have feelings for you, though probably not how deep they still are and I only want you to know…

I am sorry that I left without a word 20 years ago. I hadn’t expected you to hurt so much… I assumed that I was just a little crush for you. I thought you would grow tired of me at some point, find someone more suitable for you and I wanted to avoid that. But most of all, I didn’t want to wait for you for six years… I now know that there would have been ways to get through this together but at that time I didn’t see that… I only wanted to further my career and didn’t think about what I did to you…

During the past 20 years I’ve become a seasoned Counselor and Starfleet officer. This is my third steady assignment and I have made a lot of friends, but I never let anyone close to me like you’ve been. I didn’t even try because I knew that nobody would be like you. I didn’t want to forget one single bit of what we had. I didn’t want to diminish you… us, by getting involved with someone else.

I was not prepared to meet you again and I acted on autopilot when I materialized on the Explorer. I hadn’t expected you… I hadn’t expected the intelligent, intellectual, sensual, wonderful woman you’ve become during the last two decades and I was a fool to believe that I had stopped loving you though I really tried… but when I saw you in your teal uniform and that gown, the pips at your collar, your sky blue eyes though they were cold they were so much like 20 years ago and everything was back…

Hearing you tell me to leave you the hell alone broke my heart and I knew you were right…

The only thing I can say is that I am sorry.

There is one more thing I have to tell you and after that it’s up to you what happens from now on:  
There has only ever been one person in the universe that I love and always will… and that’s you, Alicia Schmidt, you are the love of my life... forever.

Yours in love

Elly…  
~~

Alicia was sitting at her desk, hands flat on the cold gray surface, hardly breathing. She stared at the black screen where the letters began to blur before her eyes because of the tears streaming down her face. For a few moments she couldn’t do anything. She just stared.

“Elisabeth hadn’t had any relationship after she left,” was the first thing that came to her mind when she was able to think again.

She had assumed that she’d only been a little fling for Elisabeth because it had seemed so easy for her to leave. Learning now that Elisabeth thought of her as the love of her life, like she did of Elisabeth and that she had waited for Alicia all those years, was more than she could take right now. It was just too much. She was too tired from too little sleep and answered with a few lines to at least tell Elisabeth that she had read the message and was willing to give her a chance.

When she was finished, she left Sickbay in the capable hands of the gamma shift, went to her quarters and managed to change into her sleepwear before she fell asleep on the spot. She crawled into bed totally exhausted like never before in her life.


	16. January 11, 2438, Time: 06:40:53, SD 115028.16

Elisabeth opened her eyes and yawned for a while. She didn’t feel rested at all because she had spent half of the night thinking and worrying about how Alicia might react. She had slept for a few hours, but it hadn’t been a restful sleep. Instead, it had been haunted by nightmares like the ones in the early years after she left Alicia.

She got up, took a quick shower, dressed in her teal uniform with the three pips for a Commander at her collar and went to her living area to consume a light breakfast.

The whole time, she thought about Alicia, resisting the urge to check her messages right away. She’d had to stop herself several times last night. Would Alicia forgive her and give her another chance or would she ignore her for the rest of the trip and request a transfer as soon as they were back in the Alpha quadrant? She was unable to answer this question because she didn’t know how Alicia’s mind worked anymore or how she felt about her.

She ate the pancakes as slowly as possible, took small sips from her orange juice, but as soon as she was finished, she recycled the dishes, left her quarters and went straight to her office. She hesitated for a moment in front of the door to Sickbay but squashed the thought of entering and got comfortable behind her desk.

A big grin appeared on her face on reading the subject of Alicia’s message. She had obviously written the previous night and a big sigh of relief escaped Elisabeth’s lips.

~~  
From: Alicia Schmidt  
To: Elisabeth Miller  
Subject: Rest assured…

Elly,

I can’t forgive you at a moment’s notice… it just hurt too much and it was a real shock, seeing you again after such a long time, but… rest assured that I regret what I told you upon your arrival.

Ally.  
~~

Elisabeth’s patients that day left her office with a big grin on their faces just like the one the Counselor was wearing because the good mood Elisabeth was in, was infectious. Nobody asked for the reason. They just took it in stride and were happy for the seasoned officer.

When the alpha shift was over, Elisabeth was sitting in the messhall, dinner in front of her, staring out the viewport. Watching the turquoise streaks reminding her of the Aurora Borealis, she was lost in thought instead of eating her salad with turkey.

“Nice view?” Richardson asked, stepping up to her and smiled broadly upon seeing her dreamy gaze when she turned.

“Never seen anything better,” she answered winking after she had cleared her throat. “Have a seat, please.”

He sat down across from her, looking at her intently while he began to eat his steak. She tried to focus on her companion but was soon staring out at the streaks again, unable to think anything else but: “I’ve got a chance… it is not too late yet.”

“You know that this smile makes you look 20 years younger?” Richardson asked, sipping his tea when he was finished with his dinner and Elisabeth hadn’t even touched hers.

She stared at his empty plate and then up into his smiling face with the black eyes, not comprehending what had happened.

“Do you always eat so fast?” she asked irritated.

“Fast?” He laughed whole-heartedly. “I’ve been here for at least 20 minutes, dear Elisabeth.”

She had the decency to blush deeply, averting her eyes and collected her thoughts. “I am really sorry, Eric. I promise to be better company next time, but I’m just too distracted today.”

“No reason to apologize. It seems to be something good, from your looks.”

She looked at him again and didn’t notice the lone occupant of the table behind her who couldn’t avoid listening in on their conversation, smirking openly. Richardson on the other hand, had a good view of Alicia and was happy to see her smirk. He decided to take the chance and asked directly now.

“May I ask why you’re in such a good mood?”

Alicia’s eyes grew wide and he winked at her, when Elisabeth was distracted with sipping from her water.

Elisabeth sat back in her chair, crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at him, not sure what to tell him. Would Alicia appreciate it if she talked to anyone about it? She decided to stay quiet until they had talked about how they would treat each other from now on, where they stood exactly.

“I’d really like to tell you, Eric. But I think it’s too early to assume anything and I don’t want to upset anyone.”

“By anyone you mean Doctor Schmidt,” he guessed correctly and watched the dreamy look return, which made him smile broadly. “Okay, that’s answer enough. I don’t know what occurred between the both of you, but I hope that you’ll be able to set things straight.”

“I hope so, too,” Elisabeth said in a very husky voice, regretting now more than ever that she had left in the first place. “How stupid could one woman be?!” “I hope so, too. I’ve made the biggest mistake a person can make and you won’t believe how endlessly happy I am to be granted a second chance.” Elisabeth leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially but still loud enough for Alicia to hear. “By the way, you may kick me out of the nearest airlock if I make a crap out of this chance.”

“It will be an honor for me,” he said and couldn’t stop grinning, while Alicia nearly choked on her water and suddenly laughed whole-heartedly.

Elisabeth knew this laughter by heart, lifted an eyebrow and turned around very slowly, pinning Alicia with a menacing glare. “You heard every word I said?” she assumed in a cold voice and swiveled around, glaring at Richardson, too. ”Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought you wouldn’t say anything if you knew Doctor Schmidt was here,” he said apologetically.

“You’re damn right.” She stood, picked up her tray, winking before she went to recycle the stuff and left the messhall without looking at them again.

Alicia sat at the table, frozen in shock, staring after Elisabeth and cursed herself for eavesdropping. Even if she had tried to, it would have been impossible not to hear them, but she was already trying to form an apology.

“Go after her,” Richardson took her from her reverie.

“She won’t want to see me.”

“You won’t know unless you try.” Richardson took his tray, recycled his dishes and went back to Alicia. “Good night, Doctor Schmidt.”

She mumbled a good night, watched him leave and debated with herself whether to follow Elisabeth or not. Her bad conscience won out and she recycled her glass before also leaving, heading for Elisabeth’s quarters. She sounded the chime three times, without receiving an answer.

“Computer, locate Counselor Miller,” she ordered, angling her head to the ceiling a bit and waited for the answer anxiously.

“Counselor Miller is in Holodeck 1,” the feminine voice of the ship’s computer announced.

“Is the program, currently running on Holodeck 1 open?”

“Affirmative.”

She headed toward the Holodeck and entered it after only a few minutes, stopping in her tracks.

She was standing on the front porch of a house. Despite the sun burning down on endless fields of corn and the slip of green grass between the fields and the house, there was a slight breeze. Before she was able to look at the figure lying in the grass, a dog was barking behind her and as soon as she had turned around, a Golden Retriever opened the screen door and snuffled at Alicia for a while. When it was sure that she wasn’t dangerous, it began to waggle its tail and touched its head to her hand, signaling her to stroke its fur. She was happy to see the dog, a big smile on her face. She crouched down and stroked its golden coat, matching her own hair in the usual loose ponytail.

“Who are you?” she asked smiling broadly and the only answer was a loud bark.

She took a seat on the landing. She didn’t stop stroking the dog and was now able to look more closely. To the left, hardly noticeable because of the corn, there was a red barn. The sky was a beautiful blue like her own eyes and they finally came to rest on the woman in the grass.

Elisabeth was lying on her back, legs clad in the black Starfleet slacks slightly bent, the feet in the heavy black boots firmly on the grass. Her bare, tanned arms glistened from sweat as she had discarded her tunic, using it as a pillow, only wearing the blue-gray tank top and her hands were folded on her stomach. Her auburn hair was shining in the sun, lying around her head like a red halo and her eyes were closed, a smile gracing her thin lips. Alicia realized that she was rather hot herself. She didn’t know whether it was due to sitting in the blazing sun or the view she had of Elisabeth as her full chest was now visible; the uniform obscured the real size of Elisabeth’s breasts like her own fuller offerings.

She opened her tunic, took it off as well as the long-sleeved blue-gray shirt she was wearing underneath and sat there like Elisabeth at last, after she had put the clothes into a neat pile behind her.

“Are you still furious with me?” Alicia finally asked, not able to stand the silence anymore, which was only broken by the wind rustling through the corn and some birds singing somewhere nearby.

“What makes you think I am furious?” Elisabeth’s voice was husky but she didn’t move or open her eyes.

“Your behavior indicated as much,” Alicia said, stroking the dog again who had sought her attention by rubbing its head against her arm and waggled its tail.

“Actually… it was a good opportunity. I don’t know if I would have been able to tell this to you had you asked.”

Elisabeth enjoyed the heat of the sun on her skin, the breeze that made it bearable and the sounds around her, including the wonderful, melodic voice of Alicia.

“Why did you leave?” Alicia wanted to know the answer. She had to know it before she was able to move on.

“I didn’t want to wait for six years. I was 33 already, which is very old for a Lieutenant JG and staying with you would have meant taking assignments I didn’t want,” Elisabeth explained, her eyes still closed and she was still not able to tell Alicia the whole truth.

“You could have talked to me. We would have found a solution… together.” She said the last word as some kind of afterthought very quietly. “I was hurt and very angry.”

Elisabeth got up in one fluid motion now, closed the distance between them and sat down next to Alicia, looking into her sky blue eyes with dark blue ones full of emotions.

“I know it was stupid of me to assume this, but I thought you only had a little crush on me and would forget me soon enough. I know now,” she added before Alicia could say anything, lifting  
her elegant hand to stop her, “that I was wrong, but at that time I didn’t see what I see today.”

Alicia gazed at Elisabeth, really looking at her for the first time after all those years and noticed a few more wrinkles around her eyes, adding to her beauty and was lost in the depths of the dark blue eyes for a few moments.

Elisabeth took the opportunity to also watch Alicia for a while. She realized that the soft lines of youth had changed into strong features of an adult woman who was confident despite everything she had experienced; experienced because of her, because she had left her without really thinking about what she was doing to her; how much she would hurt the only person she had ever really loved.

Even then she had known that she would never find anybody else who would capture her heart, her soul, her very being like Alicia had done with her innocence at first and later with her wit, intelligence and beauty, which was not the main reason for her falling in love so deeply. What had captured her from the start were Alicia’s eyes, the sky blue depths looking at her intently, watching her all the time and piercing her soul. She couldn’t deny that, from the beginning, she thought of Alicia as the most beautiful person she had ever seen. But it wasn’t just her appearance. She was also beautiful from the inside; making her laugh whenever she could, just being there if she needed someone and loving her unconditionally.

Yes, it had been love from the beginning. Why hadn’t Elisabeth seen this at that time? Why had she thought she was just a crush? She didn’t know and she would probably never find the answer to this question. Her heart ached from the knowledge that she had a second chance and she would prove to Alicia that she was worth the risk. She would do anything to show Alicia she loved her and that her trust wasn’t misguided. Elisabeth would love Alicia for the rest of their lives. She wanted to spend every possible moment with her and never let her go again.

Alicia still looked at Elisabeth, watching the emotions on her face, revealing her true feelings. What she saw there, made her believe that she was right in giving Elisabeth a second chance. She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice and her love for Alicia was plain to see on the classic features. She remembered the first time she had seen Elisabeth.

~~  
It had been a wonderful, warm day. It was her second at the Academy and she was sitting in the park on a bench, reading a PADD about the rules and regulations of Starfleet, still getting used to the uniform she had to wear from now on, when she looked up. She still didn’t know why. But there she had been; the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, with shining auburn hair, a bright smile on her face, her eyes ablaze, in a teal uniform and walking confidently along the path in her direction. Their gazes had locked and Alicia had been unable to breathe until she walked by, looking back one more time before disappearing around a bend in the path. She had taken a deep breath, feeling slightly dizzy and hadn’t been able to think of anything else until she saw her again two days later at the same spot.  
~~

Returning to the present, she met the same piercing blue-gray eyes, saw the same smile and knew at this very moment, that everything would be all right.

“And what do you see today?” Alicia finally asked, her voice hoarse from her own emotions.

Elisabeth gazed down at her hands, clasped in her lap, tears welling up in her eyes and finally looked at Alicia again with dark blue eyes, a clear sign of the love she felt for Alicia.

“Love. Unconditional love like few people have the chance to ever find in their lives. 20 years ago I was blind but now I see,” she said quietly, huskily and the tears began to stream down her face, still holding Alicia's gaze.

Alicia hesitantly, slowly inched closer to Elisabeth, wrapping her in a light embrace, afraid that she was moving too fast and would regret it afterwards. Elisabeth returned it, just as lightly, resting her head on Alicia’s strong shoulder. She cried and didn’t hold back, she cried because of her own stupidity all those years ago. She cried because of the chance she had and she cried because she was happier than she could ever remember. She now knew what real loss was and was back in the arms of the love of her life. She vowed to never make the same mistake again.

“I love you,” Alicia whispered, her own tears also falling freely.

“And I love you,” Elisabeth rasped, tightening her hold on Alicia, happy to be close to her again.

They held each other, just enjoying their togetherness and stayed this way until the computer announced that the time would expire in five minutes.

“What happens now?” Elisabeth asked when they looked at each other again, wiping their faces.

“We will take it slow,” Alicia replied, getting up and grabbing her clothes from the porch, putting them over her forearm.

Elisabeth nodded, took her tunic from the grass and slipped it over, not bothering to close it.

They left the Holodeck in silence, went to the turbolift together, stepped inside and said goodnight when it arrived on deck 3. They smiled at each other lovingly before the doors closed.


	17. January 26, 2438, Time: 08:17:39, SD 115069.44

Alicia stood in Sickbay, hands in the pockets of her blue gown, her eyes glued to the face of the Ensign before her on the biobed who was stammering, trying to explain how he had sprained his foot. She didn’t understand a single word; maybe due to the fact that Elisabeth had just entered and was standing a few feet away, watching and listening intently.

“Okay Ensign, I’ve heard enough, thank you,” she interrupted him, smiling as they began to free his foot from the heavy black boot and the sock.

The Ensign, a young man with shining blue eyes and blond hair was trying to hide the pain and discomfort, obviously not wanting Alicia to think of him as a pantywaist while she touched the red swollen tissue. She finally took a tricorder, which made her look at Elisabeth who was trying to hide her smirk.

Alicia glared at her. Then smiled and turned back to the officer, who was watching her intently now. It was plain to see that he found her very attractive, his smile evidence of it.

Elisabeth crossed her arms in front of her chest and watched the scene with interest, her attention on the young man who openly adored the doctor.

“Cute,” she thought. “But beware, Ensign. There’s a complicated heart underneath the “plain” beauty.”

Alicia was aware of Elisabeth and she was a bit nervous under the scrutiny. When the foot was as good as new again, the Ensign put it on the floor carefully at first and thanked her at great length.

“You’re welcome, Ensign,” she replied patiently, smiling and her hands back in the pockets of her gown. “But try to be more careful next time, please.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, leaving hastily. Alicia cringed visibly.

“Ma’am… I hate it,” she mumbled, stepping up to Elisabeth. “How may I be of assistance, Counselor?”

Elisabeth smiled broadly and thought about the countless times during the past two weeks since they had made peace, when they had interacted on a professional basis. The pressure to watch every movement, every word she said was gone and it was relaxing to work with Alicia. On a personal level, they hadn’t taken the next step yet. They sometimes met in the messhall casually and shared a table but that was all. They talked for hours on some evenings, updating each other, sharing stories of the life they had missed out on, of the other woman.

Alicia enjoyed their interactions, the quiet talks and the time she spent with Elisabeth and she realized that it wasn’t enough for her anymore. She wanted more.

“I was working out yesterday and I seem to have torn something. There’s an almost unbearable pain from my right side,” she pressed her hand to the ribcage under her right breast, “to my back.” Elisabeth showed the path with her elegant hand, turning slightly for Alicia to see where she was pointing near her spine. “And it gets worse with every hour,” she emphasized.

“Let’s see what I can do about it,” Alicia said after clearing her throat and when she was able to take her eyes off the mesmerizing motion of the hand on the body she longed for.

“The body she longed for?” a voice screamed inside her head. She had to admit that it was true while she picked up a tricorder and a deep tissue regenerator.

She healed Elisabeth in a few minutes and they smiled at each other when Alicia turned around after putting the equipment away again.

Alicia hesitated for a moment, took a deep breath and screwed up her courage. “Would you like to have dinner with me tonight… in my quarters?”

Elisabeth’s eyes went wide. She had assumed it would take Alicia longer to get used to the whole situation. It was then that she realized that she should stop assuming anything where Alicia was concerned because she acted, and had done so from the beginning, nothing like Elisabeth expected her to act.

“I’d love to,” Elisabeth answered huskily.

“Okay, so see you at 1930 hours in my quarters,” Alicia said smiling brightly.

“I’ll bring the wine.” Elisabeth jumped from the biobed that Alicia had made her sit down on for the examination, smiling the same way. “Thank you, Doctor Schmidt. See you tonight.”

Alicia watched her leave and asked herself whether it had really been a good idea but it was too late now to take back the invitation.

After an uneventful shift Alicia returned to her quarters, took a hydroshower, dried her body and hair with a soft towel and let the blond strands fall freely around her shoulders. She dressed in a blue outfit matching her eyes, consisting of wide slacks and a low-cut, short-sleeved top and black high-heeled shoes. She tried to keep the setting of the room neutral, which was very difficult because she didn’t want to give the wrong impression: Not too romantic, not too casual. She set the table with two plates of what had been one of Elisabeth’s favorite dishes, Tortellini au gratin with a cream-tomato sauce, salami, ham and peas, covering them with stasis lids until Elisabeth arrived.

She wanted to take things slow, but at the same time not too slow. She knew that this was a contradiction in terms but she couldn’t help it. She’d been single for the past 20 years. She had secretly hoped that she would meet Elisabeth again and now that she had, she wanted to have her back, all of her. She was certain that Elisabeth was the love of her life. The love she still felt for her was proof of it and it was as strong, if not even stronger, than two decades ago.

Alicia, deciding it was time for a little present, went to the replicator and ordered something she had wanted to give Elisabeth the day she had left. She looked wistfully at it for a while, and then placed it next to Elisabeth’s plate. Finally, she took the wine glasses from a cabinet before Elisabeth was due to arrive.

The door chimed, Alicia stood next to it and said, “Come.”

Elisabeth entered Alicia’s quarters, wearing a similar outfit to Alicia’s and the only differences were the flat loafers and the color: black.

Each woman looked at the other appreciatively, smiling lovingly and drinking in the sight of the woman she loved.

“You look wonderful,” Elisabeth said in way of greeting.

“Thank you, you look fantastic yourself,” Alicia replied.

Alicia was wondering why Elisabeth had both arms behind her back. She knew that she wanted to bring the wine. That explained one hand, but the other…unless she’d had the same idea as Alicia.

Again it was obvious to Elisabeth that the young, sometimes uncertain girl she loved 20 years ago was gone. Alicia had developed into a confident, sensual and very strong adult woman that she loved even more.

“The wine,” Elisabeth said hoarsely, offering a bottle of red liquid to Alicia, who took it and led her to the table. “I hope it fits.”

“It’s pasta so red wine always fits,” Alicia answered, while she placed the bottle on the table, then turned back to Elisabeth again.

“What’s that behind your back?” Alicia wanted to know.

Still smiling slightly, Elisabeth hesitated for a moment looking up at Alicia who was even taller today because Elisabeth was only wearing flats and finally showed the object she had in her other hand. It made Alicia smile broadly.

It was a stuffed teddy bear about the size of her forearm in a sitting position. The fur was auburn like Elisabeth’s hair and it was wearing a tiny teal uniform with three pips at the collar and a bright smile on the cute face.

“Her name’s Elly,” Elisabeth offered and returned the open smile.

“She’s cute,” Alicia answered, taking the gift carefully and looked at it for some time. “And I’ve got something for you, too.” She took what she had replicated earlier and handed it to Elisabeth.

Elisabeth held a cube of glass in her hand. It seemed to glow from the inside and there were two women in a loving embrace under a full moon. They were sitting in the grass which reminded her of their midnight picnics in a park in Alicia’s hometown where they had spent one of their holidays together.

“It’s beautiful,” Elisabeth whispered.

“I wanted to give this to you the day you left.” The pain and sadness was obvious on Alicia’s face and in her voice.

Elisabeth put both presents onto the table behind them, wrapped her arms around Alicia and held her in a strong embrace, which was returned equally. They stood there for a very long time, enjoying being with the person they belonged with again.

“I know that I was stupid but I won’t make this mistake again,” Elisabeth vowed quietly.

“I want to believe you, but…,” Alicia trailed off.

“It’s all right. I understand that you can’t trust me right now, but I hope that you will be able again one day.” Elisabeth hurt saying this, but she knew it was true.

She had hurt Alicia. She had left her without a word and the trust between them was gone with her actions. She would have to earn this trust again and it was clear to her that it would take very long. Until then, they’d only be friends who loved each other unconditionally.

Taking deep breaths, they calmed down again very slowly, broke the embrace and sat down at the table, eating dinner in an awkward silence.

Alicia poured two glasses of wine, which they sipped while eating and thinking about Elisabeth’s statement.

She didn’t deny it but also not agreed to it. And it wasn’t really true. She still trusted Elisabeth like no other despite everything that happened. She was just not able to believe that Elisabeth wouldn’t leave again if the situation became difficult again. And she didn’t want to be just friends with her.

It was not enough for her anymore after such a long time. As she had said, she wanted to go slow. That was still true inasmuch as she didn’t want to jump into bed at their first date after so many years. As soon as she was ready, she wanted to express her feelings in a physical way again. That would take some time and getting used to again.

Alicia wanted to reassure Elisabeth because the expression she caught whenever she looked at Elisabeth spoke of sadness and loss and that wasn’t what she wanted her to feel.

Dinner was over and they sat down on the sofa under the viewport. The slipstream tunnel streaked by in turquoise, taking their still half full glasses with them.

Elisabeth was lost in thought since she realized that Alicia hadn’t contradicted and she was endlessly sad that she lost her trust of all things. Trust was the essence of all things, most of all in a relationship. Without it, it was just friendship, a friendship that didn’t mean much. And again, she was the cause. She was constantly reminded of what she had done and what consequences her actions had.

Elisabeth was leaning at one end of the sofa with her back against the armrest, looking out into space while thinking. Her glass was on the table and she didn’t see Alicia’s gaze resting on her.

“Elly?” Alicia said quietly to get her attention.

Elisabeth was with her again instantly, her eyes shining from the use of her pet name and she wasn’t able to suppress the wide smile that made her face glow. “Yes?” she answered hoarsely, watching Alicia sitting at the opposite end, also with her back against the armrest.

“I want you to know that I trust you,” Alicia offered quietly, holding Elisabeth’s dark blue gaze and she smiled shyly. There was still a bit of the young uncertain girl left.

Elisabeth breathed in relief. “Thank you. You can’t imagine how much this means to me.”

They looked at each other for some time, memorizing the new details which hadn’t been there 20 years ago: The wrinkles around the eyes and mouth of Alicia from smiling and laughing and some gray hair peaking their heads out at Elisabeth’s temples.

“May I hug you again if I promise, not to do anything else?” Elisabeth asked huskily, knowing that Alicia wasn’t ready yet for whatever she wanted to do.

Alicia grinned broadly, slid closer to Elisabeth and they wrapped their arms around each other, holding on tight. They enjoyed the closeness, the warmth and love this simple gesture conveyed.

“Elly, I love you,” Alicia whispered into Elisabeth’s ear which was close to her mouth.

“I love you, Ally,” Elisabeth answered and tears of joy welled up in Alicia’s eyes upon hearing her pet name again after so many years.

They got comfortable in each other’s arms. Alicia reclined against the armrest and Elisabeth positioned herself on top of her, just hugging.

Elisabeth rested her head against Alicia’s neck, inhaled deeply and was bombarded by images of their two years together upon smelling the familiar and most of all still intoxicating scent. She missed 20 years of this wonderful woman’s life and she vowed to make up for it before remembering their second meeting.

~~  
After she had seen the young woman with the shining blond hair and breathtakingly intense sky blue eyes two days ago for the first time, she went the same way that day and smiled when she saw the young cadet again. She hadn’t been able to get these eyes out of her mind, barely able to concentrate on her lessons and there she was again. She walked in the same direction on her way to Starfleet Headquarters looking for a Counselor who’d be ready to help her. She didn’t have a definite appointment and nobody was expecting her so she decided to join the blonde on the bench.

“Hi, my name’s Elisabeth Miller,” she said when she was sitting next to her, gazing into eyes which didn’t look away for a second and were wide from surprise.

“Hello, I’m Alicia Schmidt,” she croaked, cleared her throat and swallowed hard. “This is my first week after the exams here.”

“How do you like it?” She was sitting there, one hand on the back of the bench but both feet in the heavy boots on the gravel of the path while Alicia turned her head her way.

“It’s great. There are some things I have to get used to but I definitely like it,” Alicia answered locking eyes with her.

She watched Alicia for a while, the young beautiful face, the curvaceous body in the uniform of a cadet but most of all the sky blue eyes, which seemed to reach into her very soul.

“I’m able to imagine that it must be a big difference from any other school,” Elisabeth agreed. “Do you already know what you want to do after the basics?”

Though very young, Alicia had been sure of what she wanted to do. “I will go into science and become a doctor at the end,” she answered, smiling brightly.

“Good luck.” Elisabeth winked.

“Thank you. Are you a doctor?” Alicia asked, looking at her teal uniform for science.

She grinned crookedly and looked at Alicia from under her lashes. “I’m on my way to become a Counselor. I’ve got two years left.”

“I wish you also luck,” Alicia said, smiling shyly.

“Why thank you.” She bowed slightly.

She was enraptured by Alicia and decided to get to know her better.

“Ask her for a date. She can only say no,” she thought and did just that.

“Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow evening?” She held her breath until Alicia answered.

“Sure. Where and when?” Alicia agreed instantly and Elisabeth gulped for air.

“Say, let’s meet here at 1800 hours and decide what to do then?” Elisabeth offered.

“Ok, I will be here.” Alicia looked down shyly.

“Great, so see you tomorrow. I’ve got to get going.” Elisabeth got up and saluted slightly which earned her an endearing chuckle before turning.

“See ya,” Alicia called after her with the melodic alto voice vibrating through her body and she wasn’t able to suppress the silly grin for the next day and a half until they met again.  
~~

Returning to the present, Elisabeth closed her eyes and totally relaxed.

Alicia was amazed at how good it felt to hold Elisabeth again, rested her chin against the top of her head and released the tension from her body, closing her eyes slowly. She felt Elisabeth going almost limp, smiled slightly and looked back on their dates, most of all, the first one.

~~  
Alicia had been a bit late because she hadn’t been able to decide what to wear and was nervous like never before in her life. She settled on simple black slacks, black high-heeled (hyphenated) shoes and a black shirt with long flowing sleeves of which she knew had driven the guys crazy. She realized this when she was at a nightclub, surrounded by a crowd of men, trying to dance with her.

She arrived at the bench to find Elisabeth sitting there, wearing tight black slacks, black high heeled shoes and a tight sleeveless black top with a wide turtle neck. The sight took Alicia’s breath away, stopping her in her tracks a few feet away while Elisabeth got up and gazed at Alicia admiringly. When she was able to walk and breathe again, she closed the distance between them and watched Elisabeth expectantly.

Seeing Elisabeth in these clothes showed her that this wasn’t simply a date between friends but that she wanted more. Alicia didn’t disapprove at all, feeling flattered like the day before when Elisabeth asked her out. A woman like Elisabeth, she must have been 30 or something interested in her, a small cadet of 19, she could hardly believe it.

“Hello,” she croaked like the day before and didn’t have the ability to do anything else but gaze into the dark blue eyes of Elisabeth, which sparkled from her approving smile.

“Hi. You look fantastic,” Elisabeth said as her eyes roamed her body appreciatively.

“I can only return the compliment,” she said and stood there smiling shyly.

Elisabeth suggested a small restaurant nearby. They walked there and had a wonderful dinner; their conversation was filled with laughter. They smiled constantly at each other, flirting unabashed and agreed to meet again during the upcoming week.

On that first evening she felt deep feelings for Elisabeth rise within her. She was hardly able to think of anything else until they saw each other again and wasn’t afraid of anything because Elisabeth seemed to return her feelings, the flirting and the adoring gazes.

They met for dates another six times, getting closer each time, falling deeply in love with each other and when Elisabeth invited her to her apartment on the eighth evening, the setting was incredibly romantic. Alicia’s legs turned to jelly, she was hardly able to stand upright and Elisabeth guided her to her sofa. Elisabeth poured two glasses of red wine, smiling confidently the whole time and took a seat next to Alicia.

“To things to come,” Elisabeth toasted and she repeated it quietly, sipping from the beverage carefully.

Her heart was beating fast, her lips and throat were dry despite the fact that she just drank some wine and her hands were damp from excitement. They looked at each other for a while until Elisabeth spoke again.

“Alicia, I’ve realized that I’ve fallen in love with you and I want to ask you if you feel the same and would be able to imagine us in a relationship,” Elisabeth husked after hesitating slightly.

Alicia was only able to stare at Elisabeth with wide eyes, unable to believe what she just heard. She could only nod, not looking away, afraid that she would wake up any moment from this unbelievably wonderful dream.  
~~

And she felt like dreaming again now, tightening the embrace and seemingly rousing Elisabeth from dozing as she started a bit and hummed slightly, obviously enjoying her human mattress. She smiled lovingly; stroked Elisabeth’s back and joined in, both chuckling in the end.

Elisabeth hadn’t felt so good, so relaxed, so wonderful and safe in years and she didn’t want the evening to cease.

Alicia was quiet, at ease, comfortable and sure that she didn’t want to ever feel anything else again if she could help it. Most of all... and she voiced her thoughts.

“Elly, I don’t want this evening to end,” Alicia whispered into the auburn hair, eyes still closed.

“Me neither,” Elisabeth agreed, getting even more comfortable.

“What shall we do now?” Alicia asked tiredly.

“It’s up to you, as I told you.” Elisabeth brushed her itching nose from Alicia’s hair against her neck and elicited a surprised gasp. “I’m sorry,” she said terrified, trying to get away. “I didn’t mean to do this… my nose itched and as both hands are full…”

Alicia didn’t let go of her, held her firmly in place and said smiling: “It’s alright. I know that you will let me set the pace.”

An electrical shock surged through Alicia’s body. She had to tear her eyes open but it wasn’t unpleasant. On the contrary and she decided at this moment, that she wanted to spend the night with Elisabeth that is if she was also ready for it.

“Would you like to spend the night with me?” Alicia felt Elisabeth tremble. “I don’t want anything to happen. I just want to lie in your arms tonight but if you can’t do this, it’s all right,” she reassured Elisabeth.

Elisabeth’s body began to vibrate as soon as Alicia asked her to stay and it didn’t matter that she just wanted to sleep in the same bed with her, in her arms. She was happy to hear the words and agreed without hesitation.

“Yes, Ally. I want to sleep in your arms tonight.”

“And you are not bothered by the fact that someone might see you leave my quarters or us leaving them together?”

“I’d prefer us leaving them together,” Elisabeth said grinning audibly and looked Alicia in the eyes now. “It didn’t bother me 20 years ago, so why now?”

“People can change,” Alicia replied gazing into the dark blue depths.

“Yes, but I still feel the same about everything.” Elisabeth began to get up reluctantly.

Without exchanging another word Elisabeth went to the replicator, ordered a set of deep blue silken pajamas and changed in the ensuite. Alicia got dressed in a pair of white cotton pajamas in her bedroom. They climbed into the queen sized bed when Elisabeth entered the room again. They got comfortable in each other’s arms one more time, said goodnight and fell asleep very soon, a sign for the trust they still had in each other.


	18. January 27, 2438, Time: 05:55:53, SD 115071.91

Elisabeth was the first to wake after the most pleasant sleep she had had in decades. She marveled at the heavenly feeling of the strong but soft body underneath as she was lying mostly on top of Alicia. Only her left leg rested on the mattress, eyes still closed she inhaled deeply and the all too familiar smells like fresh shampoo and the hint of a flowery perfume took her back in time to their first date at her apartment.

~~  
Alicia seemed totally shocked after Elisabeth declared her love and asked for a relationship. Elisabeth herself was pleased to say the least that she agreed by nodding and she wanted Alicia to set the pace but she wasn’t able to resist.

“Alicia, may I kiss you?” she asked huskily, watching the shining face of Alicia with bright dark blue eyes. “I’ll understand if you say no. I want to take it as slowly as you need.”

Alicia swallowed hard, looked at her a bit nervously and replied with something totally unexpected. “I am 19 but I never kissed or made love to anyone. I don’t know if I’m ready for the latter but the first is ok, more than ok,” she enthused and slid closer on the sofa.

At that point Elisabeth was speechless; gazing at Alicia with wide unbelieving eyes and it took Alicia three attempts to rouse her from her trance-like state. Alicia was a virgin, she didn’t have any experience but was ready to offer it… herself… to Elisabeth at her own time and this fact was unbelievable for Elisabeth.

She had relationships with men and women before but none of them ever told her that she’d been their first. Learning this at that moment from Alicia was a special gift, almost irresistible and very arousing.

This time Elisabeth swallowed hard, aware of the responsibility she had with this revelation and looked at Alicia in awe. “You mean… oh my goodness.” Tears began to stream down her face and Alicia brushed them away tenderly before encircling her in a strong embrace.

They sat there for a long time, just holding each other and Elisabeth felt the hormones raging through her body. She smelled the intoxicating scent of Alicia, enjoying the strong arms and the feeling of her warm body against her own.

Alicia loosened her arms a bit, gazed at Elisabeth with trusting eyes for a while before closing the distance between them and they kissed for the first time. Their eyes closed of their own volition. Elisabeth never felt such soft voluptuous lips before, tasting of wine and Alicia, sweet like honey and at the same time slightly spicy. Alicia smelled of fresh shampoo and a flowery perfume as well as of what the taste hinted at. She heard Alicia moan softly, their hands resting at their waists and she felt the love rise within herself, hot and urgent. Their tongues stroked each other, circled and danced for an eternity, while they explored each other’s mouths lovingly.

They parted breathlessly and gazed at each other with a dazed expression on their glowing faces, not taking their arms away.

“I would like you to spend the night with me and I won’t touch you if you don’t want it,” Elisabeth whispered.

Alicia agreed to stay. They prepared for sleeping, replicating some sleepwear for Alicia. They changed in the bedroom in front of each other which aroused Elisabeth even more. Though only 19 Alicia already had a very curvaceous body with full breasts and a wonderful round bottom.

Alicia was wearing a white t-shirt and gray silken shorts and the thought of the wonderful body underneath the simple clothes drove Elisabeth almost insane with desire.

Elisabeth herself wore light blue silken pajamas. They climbed into the sizable bed together, Elisabeth lying on her left side, propped up with her head resting on her left hand and Alicia lying on her back opposite her, facing her.

“Good night, Alicia,” Elisabeth whispered, before placing a tender kiss on the closest cheek and lying on her back.

“Good night, Elisabeth,” Alicia answered in a low voice and reclined against the pillow before Elisabeth turned off the light.

Alicia’s even breathing soon filled the room but sleep eluded Elisabeth though she really tried. She was too aroused from the evening’s events. After hours of tossing and turning which didn’t seem to bother Alicia, Elisabeth wasn’t able to take it any longer. She debated with herself for another hour whether she should really do it and came to the conclusion that she had to if she wanted to get any sleep tonight. She never did this before, never had the urge to do so but with this wonderful woman, everything was possible.

Elisabeth positioned herself as far away from Alicia as she could. She didn’t want to wake her and began to stroke herself. Her hand slipped into her pajama bottom and panties. She was amazed at how wet she was and she suppressed the moans which wanted to escape from pleasure. She tried to be perfectly quiet and closed her eyes involuntarily.

When Elisabeth opened them again, she was close to release but stopped dead in her tracks. She felt like the contents of a bucket of ice cold water were thrown at her as she looked straight into the face of Alicia in the darkness. She pulled her hand away from her clit which she was rubbing and out of her garments in a hurry, sitting up abruptly and blushing deeply from embarrassment. She gazed at Alicia with wide, scared eyes while Alicia only looked back at her.

“Oh my goodness,” she whispered, covering her face with her hands after wiping the wet one at her pajama and began to cry from embarrassment. “I’m sorry… I don’t know what’s gotten into me… goodness… this is so embarrassing,” she sobbed and fled from the bed when Alicia tried to hug her. “No… please…”

Elisabeth never felt so exposed, so lost and alone as in this moment of time. She pressed her back against the farthest corner, slid down the wall and hid her face again while crying the whole time.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she heard Alicia ask through the haze.

Elisabeth wasn’t able to answer the question, too shocked to say anything, crying silently now.

“I don’t want you to feel embarrassed. I realized that you were aroused but I thought you’d say something if it became unbearable. Elisabeth, please, look at me,” Alicia begged and Elisabeth knew that Alicia was sitting only inches away from her.

“I didn’t want to rush you,” she sobbed. “And I thought it would go away if I tried to sleep.”

“Elly,” Alicia whispered and that made Elisabeth look at her with wide eyes. “There’s no reason to feel embarrassed. It is a natural reaction and nobody should suppress this.”

“I should have been more in control. I would like to be alone now,” she said pleadingly and stood up. Before she could do anything else, Alicia put her strong arms around her trembling body.

“I don’t want you to be alone. I won’t leave you as long as you are in this state,” Alicia said in a determined voice against her ear and led her back to bed.

Elisabeth wasn’t able to resist, lying down and Alicia snuggled against her from behind, front to back. They were both on their left side and the younger woman held her in a strong embrace.

“What are you doing?” Elisabeth asked in shock when she felt Alicia’s hand sneak into the waistband of her pajama bottom and stopped her by gripping the wrist.

“Let me help you with your release, please. I know that you’ve been close,” Alicia whispered into Elisabeth’s ear and she had to shiver, releasing the curious limb.

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything,” Elisabeth whispered back.

“This is no obligation. It’s a pleasure to me.” Alicia’s fingers touched her still wet folds, stroking lightly and after a few moments two fingers slipped between them which made both of them moan. “You are so wet.”

“Yes,” Elisabeth hissed when Alicia touched her clit, pressing herself against the warm body at her back and leaning into the soft lips at her ear. “You don’t have to do this,” she mumbled before Alicia began to rub her clit and she moaned loudly.

“I know. And I am not ready for it myself at this point but I don’t want you to be frustrated. I want to help you,” Alicia repeated quietly and kept on rubbing her clit which felt heavenly.

Elisabeth didn’t feel aroused anymore after the shock of getting caught but she was close to release again after only a few minutes and she tensed, feeling the orgasm begin. Alicia kept on rubbing and Elisabeth moaned loudly when the climax hit her full force. Somehow Alicia felt that this wasn’t enough, entered her with two fingers and held a steady in and out rhythm until Elisabeth came once again, moaning unrestrainedly.

“Alicia,” she moaned when she was able to say something again and Alicia withdrew her hand.

“Sleep well, sweet Elly,” Alicia whispered into her ear, relaxing against her and it didn’t take long for them to fall asleep that way.  
~~

Elisabeth had fallen in love with Alicia a second time that night and felt loved like never before. It was a sweet memory and she had thanked Alicia appropriately when she was ready.

Elisabeth felt Alicia stir; she smiled and lifted her head to gaze into the eyes of the woman she loved. “Good morning, sunshine.”

Alicia felt totally relaxed after an unbelievably restful sleep. She stretched her tired limbs and yawned heartily before returning the greeting and resting her arms around Elisabeth again. “Good morning, sweet Elly.” Alicia was smiling fondly upon hearing the old term of endearment.

Elisabeth grinned and remembered the day she had begun to call Alicia sunshine.

~~  
Elisabeth opened her eyes after she spent her first night with Alicia and she felt light-headed. The sun was shining through the windows of her bedroom, lighting Alicia’s hair like a halo. They shone with the light of the sun as her head rested against Elisabeth’s shoulder. And she was her sunshine brightening her life, loving her like she loved Alicia. She hadn’t declared it yet but the sky blue eyes opening after a while, looking at her lovingly made her sunny day complete. And whatever would happen in the future she would always have this wonderful view for herself.

“Good morning, sunshine,” she greeted Alicia.

Alicia stretched half on top of her, captured her lips in a tender kiss and rested her head against her shoulder again.

“I like this term of endearment, sweet Elly,” Alicia whispered softly.

“You ARE my sunshine,” she said feeling relaxed and enjoyed their togetherness. “I love you, Alicia.”

Elisabeth closed her eyes again and had to hold her breath upon Alicia’s next words.

“I love you, too, Elly,” Alicia whispered and looked at Elisabeth with loving eyes when she opened her own again, releasing her breath in a gasp.

Alicia captured her lips in a loving kiss which took an eternity. They spent that day together as they were both free. They went sightseeing in San Francisco and enjoyed their time together from then on.  
~~

The wakeup-call sounded. It was 0600 hours and they had two hours left before they had to start their respective duty shifts.

Both of them took a quick shower in the ensuite, separately of course and got dressed in their teal uniforms. Elisabeth had three golden pips for a Commander at her collar. Alicia fastened two golden pips and one black with a golden rim and a small cut at the right bottom for a Lieutenant Commander to the collar of her gray-blue undershirt. They decided to have breakfast in the messhall together.

“I hope you slept well?” Elisabeth asked when they left Alicia’s quarters, both of them greeting a Lt. in a yellow uniform walking down the corridor.

“Yes, very well and you?” Alicia wanted to know, turning to the turbolift and walked there alongside Elisabeth.

“I haven’t slept this well for years.” Elisabeth winked, smiling contentedly.

The messhall was crowded by officers, who would soon begin their shift like both women when they arrived there. They were lucky to find a table just vacated by two Lts. from science. A lot of heads turned their way as everybody knew what kind of relationship they had until recently.

“Am I imagining it or is everybody interested in us?” Elisabeth asked quietly, sitting across from Alicia after they had taken their breakfast from the replicator.

Alicia looked around, seeing several heads turn away immediately and she grinned broadly. “You’re not paranoid, no,” Alicia confirmed with a smirk, taking her fork and knife and began to eat her pancakes.

Elisabeth felt uncomfortable with so much attention directed at her but decided it was worth it. In the long run she didn’t want to hide her relationship with Alicia. Through time, their colleagues would get used to the whole situation.

She concentrated on her companion, watching Alicia eat her pancakes, sip from her coffee and she had soon forgotten her surroundings. She was totally engrossed in Alicia’s eyes, her full red lips. She consumed her own breakfast of pancakes and orange juice casually.

Alicia also watched Elisabeth and was happy to have the love of her life back. Elisabeth’s chameleon eyes which had mesmerized her from the beginning were the shade of an evening sky, shortly before the sun began to set. Deep blue was the best sign for her happiness. She loved this color, got almost lost in the blue depths and none of them had the urge to speak. They were content to sit together, eating and gazing at each other.

They didn’t realize how time flew by, only startled from their reverie when the other officers began to leave. They recycled their dishes, went to deck 10 together and agreed to meet again in the evening in Alicia’s quarters. Elisabeth left her present there.

It was halfway through alpha shift when the Ensign from the day before walked into Sickbay. He clutched his left arm against his chest and stepped up to Alicia, standing in front of a console.

“Doctor Schmidt?” he tried to draw her attention.

Alicia looked up, lifting an eyebrow when she recognized him and smiled politely. “Ensign?”

“I burned my hand with a cup of scalding coffee,” he informed her, showing off the red burns at his left forearm. He winced when Alicia took the hand gently, turning it to inspect the injury.

She led him to a biobed, took a dermal regenerator and healed the wounds within minutes. They were not severe and she looked at him suspiciously. A hunch told her that the Ensign hadn’t hurt his hand accidentally. She told him again to be careful, smiling politely the whole time.

He smiled at her brightly, thanked her again and left Sickbay.

Alicia wasn’t able to forget the incident.

Upon entering her quarters, she pushed the unpleasant thoughts of the day away. She prepared a light meal for herself, ate it slowly and waited on her sofa afterwards. She sat reading and answered personal messages she had received during the day until Elisabeth arrived.


	19. January 27, 2438, Time: 19:04:17, SD 115073.41

After a quiet day with regular patients, Elisabeth met Commander Ranton in the messhall. They had dinner together as always once a week and she was now on her way to Alicia to collect her gift.

A small white package in front of Alicia’s door got her attention. She picked it up and pressed the door chime.

“Another present?” Alicia teased when she saw the box in Elisabeth’s hand. She got up from the sofa to meet Elisabeth halfway.

“No, that’s not from me. I found it outside your door,” she said, handing it over.

“Not from you?” Alicia frowned, opening the gift and she went pale in an instant. If not for Elisabeth’s fast reaction, steadying her she would have tumbled to the floor.

“Ally?” Elisabeth concentrated on her companion, realizing that Alicia had stopped breathing. “Alicia, breathe. You have to breathe.” She led her to the sofa after she took a deep breath. She didn’t loosen her strong hands on Alicia’s forearms until they were sitting. Her sole attention was on the pale face and the color slowly returned.

Alicia stared at the box in the claw-like grip of her hands. She was totally shocked and afraid like never before.

Elisabeth encircled Alicia’s shoulders with one arm, looking at the gift now and her eyes widened. On a small deep blue cushion lay a golden ring at a golden necklace and underneath stood in swung letters on a small slip of paper “I love you”. Elisabeth took the box from Alicia, closed it and placed it on the table in front of them. She wrapped her arms around the younger woman comfortingly, who started to tremble and she whispered soothing words into her ear. “Ally, I’m here. Nothing’s going to happen.”

Alicia was frozen in place, hardly recognizing Elisabeth. She was still staring at the gift.

Elisabeth was a Counselor and she knew such situations. This wasn’t any patient though but the woman she loved and she acted instinctively. She loosened the embrace, looking at Alicia and enveloped her face with both hands. She tried to get her attention until the shocked eyes focused on her. The fear was obvious on the young face and her earlier decision to leave Alicia alone tonight was gone. She knew that Alicia needed someone and she wanted to be there for her. She reclined against the armrest of the sofa, taking Alicia with her. She positioned her on top of herself and wrapped her in a strong embrace to show that she wasn’t alone. That she would not leave her young love.

The gift was not from Elisabeth and Alicia was shocked to learn that there was someone, thinking to be in love with her. She hadn’t realized that and she was scared to her core. She didn’t know why but she was and deep down she was happy that Elisabeth was there. She just held her, comforting her and didn't leave her alone in this situation. After a while she drifted off to an agitated sleep.

Elisabeth held her, not bothering with the restlessness. It hurt like hell to see her beloved so frightened.


	20. January 27, 2438, Time: 22:34:32, SD 115073.81

It was dark when Alicia opened her eyes again. The computer had lowered the lighting when it hadn’t detected any movement for some time.

The events returned to her with a vengeance but she wasn’t afraid anymore. She lay in the arms of Elisabeth, breathing deeply in her sleep. She was grateful that Elisabeth was there; holding her and taking care of her though she was sleeping. With some distance now, she began to think about who could be the person, loving her. Or thinking it anyway and two people came to mind.

Lisa and this Ensign from Sickbay. She ruled out the first one because they had established a mutual friendship. That left the Ensign and she remembered his adoring gazes with discomfort. Or was it someone she didn’t even really know?

Alicia had to shudder, waking Elisabeth with the motion tightening her hold on Alicia.

“Are you all right, sunshine?” Elisabeth whispered into her ear.

“I’m a bit worried but I want to thank you for being here.”

“I just wanted to take my present and leave but after what happened I couldn’t walk away,” Elisabeth explained her intent and yawned. “But I should probably let you sleep now.”

“No, I don’t want you to leave,” Alicia almost begged, hiding her face at Elisabeth’s neck. She wrapped her arms around the older woman. “I don’t want to be alone tonight, please.”

“I’ll gladly stay. You know that I won’t rush you, right?” Alicia nodded, getting up. She held her hand out for Elisabeth to get up and they retreated to the bedroom.

Elisabeth changed into the sleepwear from the night before in the ensuite and Alicia in the bedroom. After freshening up they crawled into bed. Elisabeth offered her arms for Alicia to settle into. Instead she got comfortable on her back and pulled Elisabeth on top of her. It didn’t take long for them to fall asleep in each other’s arms.

~~  
The day of Elisabeth’s graduation was sunny and warm. They partied with her fellow students and retired to her apartment early. They wanted to spend their last night on Starfleet ground together.

Alicia took the opportunity to watch Elisabeth intently and she liked what she saw. The black uniform trousers were the usual ones but the tunic had been bright white. Elisabeth looked stunning. It was a picture to remember forever and she memorized every little detail. The shining auburn hair, the sparkling eyes, the generous form in the black and white uniform. But most of all the beloved face which didn’t stop smiling once.

The unbelievably romantic setting of the apartment upon their return with a lot of candles and soft love songs playing in the background took Alicia’s breath away. They settled on the sofa, Elisabeth on top of her as it had become their habit in the two years of their relationship. They enjoyed their togetherness for a while, content to just hold each other and be.

The image of Elisabeth’s glistening wet folds from their first time made Alicia shudder which didn’t go unnoticed by Elisabeth.

“What are you thinking about?” Elisabeth asked quietly.

“Our first time,” she answered in a low voice and Elisabeth knew what reaction the thoughts elicited. Alicia told her in great detail what she felt when Elisabeth made love to her for the first time.

They made love that night for hours on end until the crack of dawn, long and slow. They concentrated on each other’s bodies, memorizing every little detail and the orgasms seemed like a pleasant addition.

After some hours of good sleep, Alicia got up. She kissed Elisabeth thoroughly before leaving. Their tongues met in a slow, passionate lover’s dance for an eternity.

She went to her quarters to pack her belongings as she would visit her parents during the holidays. When she was ready a few hours later she returned to Elisabeth’s apartment.

As soon as Alicia stepped into the corridor she knew something was wrong. She walked to the door very slowly and when she found it ajar her foreboding feeling was affirmed.

She entered the empty apartment in which nothing remained of its occupant for the past four years. She was shocked and only able to stare at the empty space with wide unbelieving eyes. She couldn’t grasp a coherent thought for what seemed to her like hours. Elisabeth was gone without saying goodbye to her. Nothing was left of her, not a single hair or pin.

Alicia’s heart shattered into a million pieces at this very moment. She collapsed onto the sofa, crying her pain away until she thought of contacting her.

She wasn’t able to locate Elisabeth. Nobody was allowed to tell her where she went

After returning to her quarters she threw the cube of glass she wanted to give Elisabeth against the wall. It shattered into millions of pieces like her heart not so long ago.

Elisabeth, the woman she loved like nobody else in the universe was gone. She left her after two years full of love and passion, laughter and fights, meeting of strong wills and long walks and talks. They shared tenderness. Alicia believed their togetherness meant the same to Elisabeth. She already yearned for their wonderful nights, filled with unconditional love and passionate lovemaking.

She wasn’t able to understand why Elisabeth left without speaking about it with her. Whenever Alicia tried to broach the topic, Elisabeth became evasive, saying they would talk about it after the holidays. Now she was gone.

Alicia felt alone and ugly. She hurt like hell and was totally devastated. She started to hate Elisabeth with all her heart.

It took all her mother’s patience to restore her during the weeks in Germany until she was able to return to the Academy to finish.

She locked her heart away and hit her deepest feelings behind thick walls. She didn’t let anyone close on a romantic level.

There were times when she searched for the reasons within herself. She thought that she wasn’t what Elisabeth needed and left because of Alicia’s inadequacy. That hurt even more.

It took years before she realized that it wasn’t her fault but Elisabeth’s. She came to the conclusion that Elisabeth didn’t love her like Alicia loved her.  
~~

The image of the empty apartment stayed with Alicia during time. It was this image that woke her again tonight. She was breathing fast and feeling the pain from all those years ago. She couldn’t help but cry silently now.

The comforting warmth and weight of Elisabeth’s body showed her that it was a dream. She tightened her arms around Elisabeth before pushing her onto her back. She didn’t care that Elisabeth was still asleep or as the case may be waking up slowly from the movements. She captured the thin lips in a fierce kiss, satisfying herself that Elisabeth was real not vanishing when she opened her eyes.

Elisabeth returned the kiss without really being awake. It took some time for her to realize that it wasn’t a dream but Alicia kissing her wildly. She opened her eyes, pushed Alicia gently away and looked at the young face with wide eyes.

They gazed at each other in the near darkness. Tears were still streaming down Alicia’s cheeks and Elisabeth began to kiss them away lovingly. She guided Alicia onto her back again very slowly until she was lying on top of her. She planted tender kisses all over her face while Alicia clung to her fearfully.

“It was just a dream,” Elisabeth whispered in between.

“No, it was a memory. It has once been the truth and I am afraid that it will happen again,” Alicia replied quietly, closing her eyes and crying even harder.

“My leaving you,” Elisabeth said hoarsely and wrapped Alicia in a tender embrace. “I will throw myself out an airlock before ever leaving you again. I promise, Alicia. I love you more than anything else. I won’t be so stupid as to lose you ever again. I don’t want us to make a mistake tonight by hurrying into anything.”

Alicia listened to Elisabeth’s husky voice, enjoying its timbre. She let it wash over her frayed nerves, soothing her slowly. She calmed down, breathing deeply, still gripping Elisabeth’s warm and soft body.

“What was wrong with me?” Alicia wanted to know in a hoarse whisper. “What have I done to drive you away?”

Elisabeth closed her eyes, resting her head against the strong shoulder. She breathed deeply and ordered: “Computer, lights one quarter.”

It took a few moments for both of them to get used to the sudden brightness. Elisabeth pulled Alicia into a sitting position, straddling her lap and resting her hands on the soft hips. She looked into the troubled eyes seriously with tears in her own.

“Nothing,” Elisabeth rasped, crying silently now. “Nothing’s wrong with you. YOU haven’t done anything… ever. You were… you ARE everything one can hope for. You are a very special person with a kind heart, compassionate, passionate, full of love, forgiving, strong, trustworthy… the list is endless but what’s most important… It wasn’t you… It has never been you.” Elisabeth ended the contact, turning away and sat down at the edge of the bed with her back to Alicia. She looked down on her hands, clasped in her lap and the image was blurred from tears. “I was afraid… of losing you one day,” Elisabeth’s explanation was interrupted by sobs now and Alicia sat there, looking at her back. Listening. “That you would realize in due time, I wasn’t worth your love and that I had taken precious things from you… that you would regret it sooner or later. You were nearly half my age and you had all your life before you. I didn’t want to be in your way and so I left…”

Alicia was stunned, speechless after this confession and hardly able to believe her own ears. “Did I ever make you feel that way?” she asked when she could think clearly again, quietly. “Have I ever given you this impression?” Alicia didn’t know what to think anymore.

“No, you didn’t,” Elisabeth answered hoarsely, still crying. “You made me feel things I’ve never felt before… and I was afraid… plain and simple. Afraid that my feelings for you wouldn’t be enough, that you’d be tired of me at some point…”

“Why didn’t you ever talk to me about these fears?” Alicia asked, interrupting her lover.

“Another fear… I’d imagined you’d laugh at me, because I was so damn uncertain.”

Alicia slid closer to Elisabeth after wiping away her own tears, which had been falling silently without her realizing it. Without thinking about it, she got up, knelled in front of Elisabeth and put her hands on her knees.

“I would never laugh at you, Elisabeth. How could I?” Alicia looked up into the sad face, the storm gray eyes not meeting her own. Her voice was quiet but strong. “You are the woman who showed me what love is. What I was able to feel… you’re the reason why I am who I am today.” Elisabeth snorted. “No, I don’t mean you leaving… I mean…” Alicia cleared her throat. “In the two years of our relationship you made me feel special, loved, strong… I was passionate because you lighted a fire within me… I was… no, I AM full of love because of you. How could I ever be tired of you when you are everything I want? Everything I ever dreamed of? And the things you said you’ve taken away… you didn’t take anything I wasn’t willing to give.”

Elisabeth listened to the wonderful voice of the love of her life. She was still crying silently and couldn’t believe how stupid she had been.

Alicia put a finger under Elisabeth’s chin, lifting her face that way. She forced Elisabeth to look at her, continuing quietly. “It has never been an issue for me that you are older than I am, because love… age doesn’t matter if you love someone with all your heart and soul… I told you how I felt when you first addressed me.” Alicia didn’t think it was necessary to elaborate on it further. “My life… had been fantastic as long as I’d shared it with you… when you were gone… it was no longer worth living. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that you were out there and that I might meet you again one day…“ Alicia cried again, resting her cheek on Elisabeth’s thigh. She wrapped her arms around her as good as possible in this position.

Elisabeth looked down, lifting a hand and brushing the strands of golden hair away from the fair cheek. She was unable to grasp that the woman kneeling in front of her still loved her after everything she had done. She thanked whoever wanted to listen for this precious woman. For this heavenly gift and the love she wasn’t worthy of at all.

“What have I done to deserve you?” Elisabeth whispered, bending down and placing a tender kiss on the wet cheek.

Alicia waited until Elisabeth was sitting with her back straight again. She parted Elisabeth’s legs before sliding closer and wrapped her arms around the body she knew better than anything else. She conveyed her love without words and they stayed this way for a very long time after Elisabeth returned the loving embrace.

Elisabeth would have liked to crawl into the farthest corner and cry for hours on end. There was something else she wasn’t able to tell Alicia at that time. She tried to free herself again but Alicia wouldn’t let go. She held onto her for dear life and the strong arms soothed her after a very long time of loneliness. When she was quiet again, Alicia guided them back onto the bed. She made them comfortable in their habitual position and ordered the lights out.

Sleep eluded them both as Elisabeth was debating with herself whether to tell Alicia what exactly made her leave.

“What didn’t you tell me?” Alicia asked quietly after some time, feeling Elisabeth’s restlessness.

Elisabeth thought she was quiet and relaxed. Obviously Alicia knew her better than she realized and she smiled slightly. “I don’t want to run down other people.”

“Other people? Who… oh my goodness,” Alicia breathed and sat up abruptly. “You are not talking about Christine, are you?”

Elisabeth didn’t say a word because it was exactly the person she had been thinking about. She straddled Alicia’s lap again.

“Oh my goodness, Elisabeth. You didn’t believe her, did you?” Alicia was shocked and whispered into Elisabeth’s ear. “She tried to hit on me after you were gone.”

“She did what?” Elisabeth exclaimed, not believing her own ears. She squashed down the swearword which tried to escape and she began to tell the story.

~~  
Elisabeth was in her apartment, preparing for a date with Alicia when the chime to her door sounded. She answered it and was stunned to see Christine, Alicia’s best friend in her doorway. The younger woman asked to speak with her about something. Christine was tall, handsome with long dark locks and bright brown eyes. She was in the second year on the Academy like Alicia and wanted to start a Command career after the basics. She became friends with Alicia nonetheless.

“What do you want to talk about?” she asked, guiding Christine to her living room and offered her a seat.

“I don’t want to beat around the bush, so I will get straight to the point,” Christine said and Elisabeth lifted an eyebrow. She nodded after taking the seat across from Christine. “I talked to some people and they agree with me. They sort of sent me here. Nevertheless we think that the relationship you have with Alicia is not good for her. It’s not the fact that you are a woman, but your age. You are 13 years her senior and we think she should spend more time with people of her own age. Most of all have relationships with them instead of you. I don’t know how Alicia has been before she met you, but we think she’s too serious for her age. Most of the time she’s considerate of you and misses a lot of things in this regard. I can’t enjoin on you what you should do but I hope this will make you think about the situation. Lead you to do what’s best for Alicia. She is young and should enjoy her life as long as she can.” Christine looked at Elisabeth with her penetrating brown eyes for a while before getting up. She left without another word.

Elisabeth sat in her apartment for what seemed like hours, thinking about what she just heard. In the end she was late for their date at the small restaurant they had gone to on their first date. She tried to push the thoughts away but Alicia perceived that something was wrong.

Elisabeth told her that she had some problems with learning for the exams.

From that day on Elisabeth tried to make Alicia spend more time with her friends but she didn’t want to. Instead Alicia stayed with Elisabeth, helping her with her exams and she realized that Christine was right.

When she had the opportunity to watch Alicia with her friends she did for a while without being noticed.

Her friends sat in the grass around a bench, laughing from jokes and teasing each other while Alicia sat on the bench. She watched them with a smile but she didn’t join in their banter. She didn’t look serious but she kept a distance from them.

Upon seeing this Elisabeth made the decision to leave after her graduation. She wanted to give Alicia the freedom of evolving as it was right for a girl of her age. She shouldn’t be hindered by the needs and views of an old frump.  
~~

Alicia looked at Elisabeth with wide eyes. “You hid that from me for three months? That’s the reason you were late that evening…,” Alicia realized now, after thinking about it for a few moments. “Goodness! I’d like to kill that damn bitch.” Alicia didn’t have a problem with using swearwords. She was out of her mind right now, unable to believe what her former best friend had done. “Let me tell you a story, Elly.”

~~  
Alicia returned to the Academy after a summer full of tears, doubts and loneliness. Despite the presence of her parents she felt alone.

Christine tried to spend as much time with her as possible but Alicia pushed her away realizing that the dark haired woman tried to hit on her.

Alicia spent time with her friends, Christine included but she didn’t change. She was still pensive, most of the time thinking about Elisabeth. She tried to understand why she left and Christine stopped her efforts at some point.

It was the day of Alicia's graduation when she saw Christine again after losing contact with her when she went to the Medical Faculty. Elisabeth was still on her mind constantly.

Christine wore a red uniform with the pips for a Lt. JG at her collar smiling at Alicia brightly. "Alicia, you look stunning," she greeted.

"Thank you, Christine," she answered politely unable to hide her discomfort.

"What's wrong with you?" Christine wanted to know, becoming serious instantly.

"What do you want from me?"

"I was wondering... Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

"Christine, why don't you just give up? I wasn't interested in you six years ago and I am still uninterested."

Christine looked stunned, tears welling up in her brown eyes and she hugged herself forlornly. "Why won't you give me a chance?"

"Pardon?" Alicia looked at her with wide eyes.

Christine just gazed at her pleadingly.

"My heart belongs to Elisabeth... whatever she's done... for whatever reason she has left… I still love her and will do so till the end of my life. I haven't seen her for six years but my love is as strong as it has been the day I fell in love with her… nothing will ever change that...,” Alicia explained quietly. “And I know that she also loves me, because the last night we spent together… she showed it to me. If she had pushed me away I might have been able to open myself for another relationship but knowing that she is out there, loving me as I love her gives me hope and I won’t abandon it until I learn that she is dead… or I die myself.”

Alicia turned around, not bothering that Christine was crying silently. She walked away and never looked back or met Christine again.  
~~

“I can’t believe it,” Elisabeth nearly screamed, jumping out of the bed. She hit the closest bulkhead with one hand. “She wanted you for herself and made me doubt my motives… even my feelings. She made me feel guilty for having a relationship with you while you should have been free to explore everything.” Elisabeth rested her head against the cold metal.

“The only thing, I wanted to explore was you. Our time together meant everything to me. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way… you should have talked to me.” It was a simple statement, not meant to hurt or anything. All of this was over. “We can’t turn back time but there is one thing… I’ve learned.”

Alicia got up and wrapped her arms around Elisabeth from behind. She rested her chin on the narrow shoulder and pressed a gentle kiss onto the sensitive ear.

“And that is?” Elisabeth asked hoarsely, leaning into the warm and strong body behind her.

“It’s a proverb, I once heard somewhere… if you really love someone, you should set them free, if they come back… one day… it was meant to be…,” Alicia whispered and wrapped her arms around Elisabeth again after she had turned. They clung to each other fiercely. “We are meant to be.”

They stood there for a very long time, thinking about what they’d just learned. Both of them were very furious, but at the same time happy that they had made it contrary to all efforts to separate them.

“Computer, play song Alicia Schmidt alpha one three,” Alicia ordered, led Elisabeth back to the bed again and the song began when they were lying in each other’s arms. Their cheeks pressed together, both women had their eyes closed, listening intently to the soft alto voice, singing the love song.

“I know you've heard these words a hundred other times before  
And you've been hurt and so your heart has chose to close the door  
Love broke your heart and brought you lies  
Look in my eyes  
You'll see a love that's deep and true  
Tender and strong and all for you  
You can trust this love  
Honest, that's the honest truth

From the heart  
I'm giving you everything, everything  
From the heart  
I promise you that I'll be there  
I'll be there to love you  
From the soul  
I'm showing you all I feel, all I feel is  
From the heart, from the heart

I will protect you and respect you and be all you need  
And when you reach for love you'll only need to reach for me  
These arms will never let you down  
They're staying around  
I'll walk with you through every storm  
I'll keep you safe, I'll keep you warm  
And you'll have no doubt  
You're the one I'm living for

From the heart (from the heart baby)  
I'm giving you everything (oh) everything (giving you everything)  
From the heart (my heart)  
I promise you that I'll be there (I'll be there for you)  
I'll be there to love you  
From the soul  
I'm showing you all I feel, all I feel (I'm showing you) is  
From the heart, from the heart (from the heart)

I'll provide the love you need  
Just trust my touch  
Believe in me  
I'll never make you cry  
Givin' all I got with, all I got inside  
From the heart

I'm giving you everything, everything (giving you everything)  
From the heart (from my heart)  
I promise you that I'll be there (I'll be there to love you, love you, ooh)  
I'll be there to love you (ohh)  
From the soul (my soul)  
I'm showing you all I feel (all I feel) all I feel (all I feel) is  
From the heart (the heart) from the heart  
Ooh, from the heart, from the heart...”

Elisabeth listened to the beloved voice, singing the song and drifted off to sleep as soon as the last sounds of it faded away.

Alicia smiled when she heard the rhythmic breathing. It didn’t take long for herself to fall asleep though she was still furious. The exhaustion won out.


	21. January 28, 2438, Time: 06:00:00, SD 115074.65

Elisabeth grinned, looking into the huge eyes of her sunny day. They sparkled from the bright smile on Alicia’s face and they gazed at each other for a while. The computer had woken them.

“Computer, play song Alicia Schmidt alpha one,” Alicia ordered hoarsely and held Elisabeth’s gaze as the song began.

“If you only knew  
What I feel for you  
If you only lived for me  
The way I live for you  
I'd be in heaven  
My dreams would come true

'Cause all  
I've ever wanted  
Is you  
And you alone  
And I love you so  
More than you could ever know  
All I've ever wanted  
Is you

If you were my own  
To caress and hold  
I would shower you with love  
And drown within your soul  
’Cause I’d live and breathe for you  
And I really need you to know

That all  
I've ever wanted  
Is you  
And you alone  
And I love you so  
More than you could ever know  
All I've ever wanted  
Is you

Everything I do  
Is for you  
And you are every part  
Of me  
And I don't want to face  
Another day  
Alone  
Without  
Your love

'Cause all  
I've ever wanted  
Is you  
And you alone  
And I love you so  
More than you could ever know  
All I've ever wanted  
Is you  
All I’ve ever wanted  
Is you  
Is you  
You”

The song was great and the voice was heavenly. Elisabeth was able to hear that Alicia had been crying during singing. She hurt while listening to the vocals, tears streaming down her face even when the song was over.

“When did you sing them?” Elisabeth wanted to know hoarsely, gazing at Alicia who was still smiling.

“I sang the last one during the first week with my parents. I’d still been in some kind of a shock and singing seemed to be the only thing to express my feelings and get off some steam… singing and biking of course,” Alicia corrected herself instantly. “And the one from last night… that was some time around my graduation.”

“I always loved your voice when you were singing in the shower. Do you still sing occasionally?” Elisabeth rested her cheek against the strong shoulder. She wasn’t crying because of the song anymore but because of the things revealed last night.

“No, the song from last night was the last one,” Alicia answered, stroking Elisabeth’s back soothingly. “Elly… please, don’t cry anymore. We’ve lost time we could have spent together, but we should be happy that we are here now.”

Elisabeth was furious with herself for doing the opposite of what she intended. With her actions she had stolen Alicia’s life by hurting her deeply. She prevented her from developing this way. She wanted to get off the ship, out of Alicia’s quarters, out of her life. She knew that this would result in the same situation. She couldn’t have a relationship with Alicia as long as she felt the guilt of having destroyed the younger woman’s life. She had to distance herself from Alicia and be her friend, nothing more. Maybe Alicia would then be able to get over her and live the life she deserved.

“I think we should get ready for our duties,” Elisabeth said after a while, getting up.

“Stop it, Elly,” Alicia whispered, having felt Elisabeth’s tension in her arms.

Elisabeth stopped before reaching the edge of the bed and turned slightly. “What do you mean?”

Alicia got onto her knees, crawling next to Elisabeth and looked into the gray eyes. “Whatever you decided a few moments ago… I don’t want to lose you again. Elly, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Tears were running down Alicia’s cheeks. “Don’t make me lose you again. It would kill me… I can’t live without you anymore. Please.” Alicia buried her face in her hands. “What do I have to say or do to make you believe me? That you are the person I love and that there will never be anyone else… I know that I was young when I fell in love with you. I also know in my very soul that there will never be anyone else I can love like I love you. You are my everything… my heart… my soul.” Something suddenly dawned on her and she looked at Elisabeth in shock. “Except… you don’t feel the same anymore. If so… I can’t do anything.”

“No, Ally… I love you more than life itself… but how will I be able to have a relationship with you… knowing that I destroyed your life?” Elisabeth gripped the strong shoulders.

“You didn’t destroy my life… you did what you thought was best for me… but as I told you before… you should have talked to me about it. We can’t turn back the hands of time but we can right it again by sharing our lives and making up for the time we’ve lost,” Alicia gazed at Elisabeth pleadingly. “We love each other… so why should we not have a relationship? I don’t blame you for anything and I don’t want you to feel guilty for anything. I only want us to be happy… together.”

Without another word Elisabeth placed Alicia’s hands on her own waist, wrapped her arms around her lover and captured the full lips in a slow, loving kiss. Alicia returned it with the same passion, their tongues meeting in a tender dance, stroking each other. They both conveyed their love in this lover’s embrace. 

Elisabeth was amazed how good Alicia had become at reading her and happy that she wouldn’t let her go.

Elisabeth slid her hands underneath the night-shirt to feel Alicia’s hot skin. Alicia ended the kiss when she felt Elisabeth’s hands sneak around to her front.

“Elly,” Alicia exclaimed, jerking away from the cool hands on her breasts. She captured the wrists, looking at Elisabeth with wide eyes. “How about not hurrying anything?”

Elisabeth grinned broadly. “Sorry, just wanted to feel you again.”

“I think we should get ready for our duties. I have to tell you something.” Alicia pulled the hands out from under her shirt smiling. She kissed each palm tenderly before entering the ensuite to take a shower.

While Alicia showered, Elisabeth replicated a new uniform for herself and prepared breakfast until Alicia was ready in her teal uniform. Elisabeth took her place, while Alicia finished the preparations for their meal. She joined Alicia at the table when she was clean and dressed.

“What is it you wanted to talk about?” Elisabeth asked when they were eating, sitting across from each other.

“Do you remember the Ensign with the sprained foot?” Alicia asked.

“That was only the day before yesterday, of course I do. He adores you,” Elisabeth commented.

“Oh, that doesn’t seem to be the only thing he does. He was there yesterday. He had burnt his hand with hot coffee,” Alicia told uneasily.

“Damn… if he comes to Sickbay today… there’s reason to worry,” Elisabeth muttered, after sipping from her orange juice.

“That’s what I thought. I felt queasy when I recognized him from the day before.” Alicia put her fork down, half of her scrambled eggs still on her plate. She looked Elisabeth straight in the eyes. “May I contact you in case he shows up today? I would feel better to know that I can rely on you.”

“Of course you can. I don’t want you to face him alone. Am I right in assuming you think the present was from him?” Elisabeth asked, finishing her breakfast. She drank the last gulps of her juice.

“That or someone I didn’t recognize before,” Alicia confirmed.

“Ok. So send me a short message when he arrives and I will be there as soon as I can. We will get through this together.” Elisabeth smiled lovingly and Alicia released a deep breath of relief.

They finished breakfast, went to deck 10 together and began their respective duty shifts.

Elisabeth had a lot of patients and was happy not to receive a message from Alicia. She was sitting at her desk, shortly before the end of alpha shift. She was filing reports when her terminal registered an incoming message. Her heart sank upon reading the sender and the subject.

From: Alicia Schmidt  
To: Elisabeth Miller  
Subject: Help

Elisabeth left her office and entered Sickbay a few seconds later. She heard Alicia’s comment. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got a meeting scheduled with Counselor Miller.” The relief on Alicia’s face upon seeing her was obvious. She leaned against a console near the biobed on which the blonde Ensign was sitting.

“Oh, I see,” the Ensign replied disappointedly. “Maybe another time.”

“I’m sorry, Ensign,” Alicia began while she used the bone knitter to mend his broken arm. It was bare as he had discarded his tunic and long-sleeved blue-gray shirt.. “But I am not interested in dining with you.”

Elisabeth watched the hurt look appear on the young face. Alicia was doing the right thing by not encouraging him further.

“Your arm is healed again, Ensign. And I have to ask you again to be careful from now on,” Alicia ordered politely.

“Yes, Ma’am,” he saluted when he was off the biobed. He collected his clothes and left Sickbay hurriedly.

After finishing their duty shifts, they retired to Alicia’s quarters to spend a quiet evening without further incidents.


	22. February 14, 2438, Time: 18:30:05, SD 115122.66

Alicia rode the turbolift, dressed in a black outfit; high heeled shoes, wide slacks, a tight white turtleneck with flowing sleeves. Her hair fell in golden waves around her shoulders which earned her appreciative glances of both men and women on her way through the corridor after stepping off the lift.

One of these people was the Ensign who had visited Sickbay three days in a row two weeks ago. His jaw hit the floor with a loud thud and he seemed to nearly faint when he laid eyes on her. She didn’t stop as Elisabeth was waiting for her on the Holodeck. She just smiled politely in his direction.

After the present which had shocked Alicia to the core, her secret admirer hadn’t sent anything else. She had the hope that the refusal of an invitation for dinner from the Ensign had made him stop.

Arriving at the Holodeck, Alicia stopped and took a deep, calming breath. Then she entered nervously though she didn’t know why.

Alicia spent most of her free time with Elisabeth during the last two weeks. They slept in the same bed every night, holding each other and getting used to their togetherness again. The invitation from Elisabeth for dinner on the Holodeck tonight sounded secretive. The remark she should wear something nice made her nervous to no end. She hoped that her outfit was appropriate.

Alicia stepped into a warm summer evening. The sun was setting behind her and she recognized the location at once.

How could she forget their first date and the small restaurant in San Francisco? She had to smile involuntarily.

Elisabeth was standing a bit to the side unseen by Alicia. She watched the woman she loved smile. She couldn’t help but smile brightly herself. She admired the young woman in the black-and-white outfit which fit like a second skin. It reminded her of their first date.

Elisabeth was nervous tonight, had changed her own outfit five times before settling on a long cream-colored, sleeveless dress hugging her body tightly. High-heeled shoes as well as a small purse in the same color completed her look. Her hair was pinned up, some curled strands falling around her face.

Elisabeth had enjoyed the past two weeks immensely, used the mostly quiet evenings to think about her life and what she would do in the future.

One thing was crystal clear.

She didn’t want to live without Alicia anymore, wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. She had decided to take the next step in their relationship. She was beyond nervous now that Alicia arrived because she didn’t know how Alicia would react. Whether she felt the same way or wanted to wait for another while.

Elisabeth took a deep breath before joining Alicia in front of the restaurant. They hugged for a while after admiring each other’s outfits and commenting appreciatively about it. They smiled lovingly when they parted.

Elisabeth offered her arm which Alicia took immediately. They entered the cozy and very romantic setting of the restaurant. They were led to a secluded booth by a waiter in a black tuxedo. A red candle in the middle of the table for two lent the perfect atmosphere. They took their seats across from each other without exchanging a word.

The waiter brought a bottle of red wine, filled their glasses and left them to themselves for the time being.

Elisabeth’s eyes roamed the part of Alicia’s body she was able to see. She met the inquisitive gaze when she was finished, smiling lovingly. “Your outfit reminds me of our first date,” she said huskily and saw Alicia shiver.

“I realized this when I was standing in front of my mirror. I hope you’re not bothered by it,” Alicia said uneasily.

“No, not at all. I like this kind of outfit on you.” Elisabeth entwined her right hand with Alicia’s left, lying on the table. She watched Alicia take a relieved breath. “I took the liberty to set the menu and I hope you will like the food.”

Alicia didn’t say a word. She knew Elisabeth’s taste and she also knew that she liked it. She just sat there and smiled.

“First there will be a plate of antipasti. Next we will have chili with ribbon noodles and chicken. For dessert I chose vanilla ice-cream with strawberries,” Elisabeth explained while Alicia watched her with wide eyes.

“What are you up to?” Alicia asked suspiciously. She lifted an eyebrow and eyed the older woman, smiling nonetheless.

“I’m not up to anything,” Elisabeth exclaimed in mock surprise. “What do you think of me?”

“Only the best,” Alicia mumbled, sipping from her wine while Elisabeth nodded to the waiter.

Dinner progressed in companionable silence, each woman content to just sit with the other. They ate and gazed into each other’s eyes while enjoying the food.

When dessert arrived, Alicia felt light-headed. The hot noodles were delicious and she felt the stimulating effects of the chili. She wasn’t sure whether Elisabeth had done this deliberately. She was determined to find out before the evening was over though.

Elisabeth watched Alicia eat the ice and strawberries provocatively. The full lips closing around the red fruits sent shivers running up and down her spine. She consumed her own dessert very slowly, not taking her eyes off the younger woman. She tried to screw up her courage to ask the crucial question.

She was secretly relieved when Alicia excused herself for a few moments after dinner. Elisabeth took the opportunity to retrieve a small black box from her purse on the bench next to her. She placed it next to Alicia’s wine glass so that she might not see it on first sight. Elisabeth sat down again, fidgeting nervously until Alicia stepped back into the Holodeck.

They smiled at each other lovingly as soon as Alicia was sitting again.

Alicia reached for her glass, brushing against a small black box with her hand. Her heart began to beat faster, her breath became ragged and she looked into Elisabeth's eyes. She watched her with a smile and she seemed to hold her breath.

Tears of joy began to stream down Alicia’s face and she was hardly able to believe what this gesture meant. Her gaze became inquiring before she picked up the box and opened it slowly.

Sticking out of the black cushion was a simple platinum ring.

Alicia had to pull her eyes away from the item, turning her gaze as well as her body to Elisabeth who was now kneeling in front of her.

Elisabeth placed the box back on the table after taking the ring. She reached for Alicia’s left hand, gazed into the eyes of the woman she loved, tears welling up in her own.

“I love you, Alicia.”

“I love you, too,” Alicia mumbled in response. She was totally overwhelmed by her feelings, tears streaming down her cheeks and Elisabeth’s face began to shine.

“During the past weeks I had to think about what I want to do with my life. I don’t know what my future will look like,” Elisabeth said quietly, the ring between thumb and forefinger of her right hand. The other was holding Alicia’s trembling left hand. “But one thing is clear.” Elisabeth’s voice became hoarse. “I want to spend the rest of it with you. Do you feel the same and do you want to marry me?”

“Yes,” Alicia breathed and Elisabeth slid the ring onto her left ring finger before getting up. She took Alicia with her and they embraced each other fiercely, both crying unrestrainedly from happiness now. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” Alicia repeated whispering in awe, crushing Elisabeth against herself. “Yes, I want to be your wife.”

Elisabeth breathed in relief despite the pressure from Alicia’s arms around her body. She let free rein to her tears. In spite of everything that happened, Alicia wanted to share her life and she was happy like never before.

Alicia didn’t know what to do next. Whether to wait longer with anything or whatever and she was relieved that Elisabeth had taken the next step. Though she had been aloofness personified when Elisabeth materialized on the Explorer, she knew at that moment that she would never let the older woman leave her again. She had been too happy to lay eyes on Elisabeth.

After long moments they parted without taking their hands off each other. They gazed into the beloved blue eyes, one pair the color of the sky, the other reminiscent of the ocean. They didn’t say anything, leaning into each other and their mouths and tongues met in a long, slow lover’s dance. They stroked, suckled at their lips with eyes closed. They concentrated on the sensations streaming through their bodies, enjoying the togetherness.

“Your Holodeck time will expire in five minutes,” the feminine voice of the computer announced emotionless.

They ended the kiss reluctantly. Elisabeth rested her forehead against Alicia’s chin, both women catching their respective breaths, before Elisabeth put the box back into her purse. She grabbed Alicia’s hand and together they left the Holodeck, ending the program with a voice-command. They went to Alicia’s quarters in companionable silence, got comfortable on the sofa in each other’s arms and continued kissing.

“Should we set a date for the marriage?” Alicia asked after ending the kiss slowly and looked at Elisabeth who was lying on top of her.

“We will be back in the Alpha quadrant in about 20 days. Should we inform our families before we’re back or when we’re there?” Elisabeth asked and watched Alicia blanch.

“Oh my goodness..,” Alicia exclaimed in panic. “My mother is not only going to kill you but me, too.”

Elisabeth laughed whole-heartedly but became quiet instantly upon seeing Alicia’s serious face.

“That’s not at all funny. I want to live a bit longer and share my life with you. How about we tell my mother at our 10th wedding day?” Alicia buried her face in her hands and Elisabeth laughed again.

“I will bear any punishment your mother has for me as long as I’m allowed to marry you afterwards,” Elisabeth explained between fits of laughter and Alicia grinned broadly.

“Ok, so I would suggest March 30th. That way we’ll have enough time to arrange everything. One and a half months. What do you think?” Alicia looked at Elisabeth smiling brightly when she had calmed down again.

“Sounds good to me.” Elisabeth became serious. She climbed down from Alicia until they were sitting next to each other on the sofa.

Elisabeth took both of Alicia’s hands into her own and they gazed at each other for a while. She had thought about this topic for long hours and was happy that Alicia hadn’t been in a hurry to make love.

“I don’t know about you,” Elisabeth said seriously. “But I would like us not to make love until we’re married.”

Alicia’s eyes glazed over. She led Elisabeth’s hands to her mouth, placing kisses on each knuckle and not letting her fiancée out of her eyes. She still didn’t want to rush anything and she was grateful that Elisabeth felt the same way.

“Yes, I agree,” Alicia whispered when she was finished. She embraced the love of her life which was returned the same way.

They spent the rest of the evening talking about the things they had to consider. They cuddled and kissed and retreated to the bed when it was time to sleep.


	23. March 6, 2438, Time: 10:08:23, SD 115176.50

The Explorer arrived at Utopia Planitia after the six months in deep space. The mission went well, despite the incident at which Counselor Miller nearly died. Everybody was happy to be back home. As it was usual after such missions the crew had shore leave while the ship was being checked at the space station in Mars’ orbit.

Alicia and Elisabeth had debated whether to tell their parents separately but Alicia was reluctant to face her mother alone. She knew Kerstin’s ire would be unbearable and was justified upon the news. They decided to visit Alicia’s family first.

They hadn’t told anybody yet and they refrained from wearing their rings on duty. So it wasn’t a problem after Alicia replicated a similar ring for Elisabeth. Richardson was a bit suspicious when he saw their bright smiles the following weeks.

Alicia was standing in her quarters, dressed in the long-sleeved blue-gray Starfleet shirt, black uniform slacks and the heavy boots. A black parka rested over her forearm as it was now winter in Germany. A bag over her shoulder contained her belongings which she didn’t want to replicate every time.

Ready to leave Alicia waited for Elisabeth to arrive.

Alicia was endlessly nervous because she knew exactly how her mother would react. She wasn’t looking forward to it at all. The door-chime took her from her reverie and she let Elisabeth in. The older woman wore a similar outfit as well as the bag and the black parka.

“Are you ready?” Elisabeth asked, smiling encouragingly though she was nervous herself. She didn’t know what to expect from Alicia’s parents.

“No,” Alicia croaked, cleared her throat and accepted the loving kiss, Elisabeth placed on her trembling lips.

Alicia had contacted her parents as soon as they were in the Alpha quadrant, telling them that she would spend some days with them after their arrival. Kerstin deduced at once that something was brewing but Alicia told her to be patient.

“It will be all right. Nothing can be worse than the last 20 years,” Elisabeth tried to calm her fiancée.

“You losing your head isn’t worse?” Alicia asked alarmed.

Elisabeth laughed, took Alicia’s arm and they left the quarters together. They got on their way to the shuttle which would bring them to Headquarters. From there they would travel to Germany.

Near the hatch connecting the Explorer to Utopia Planitia they met Richardson, wearing civilian clothes and smiling broadly when he saw them together.

“I hope you’ll have a nice trip,” he greeted them, falling in step with them, both women returning the smile.

“I hope so, too,” Alicia mumbled and Elisabeth squeezed the arm she was still holding reassuringly.

“Thank you, Eric. I hope yours will also be fine.” Elisabeth looked up at him walking next to the man. He gazed quizzically at Alicia for a moment before looking down on Elisabeth once more.

“Sure, I will see my little Angel again. What can be better than that?” he asked.

“It must be hard for her when you’re on a deep space mission,” Elisabeth commented and Alicia heard them talk about Richardson’s family for the first time.

“She has got her own life now but she is always happy to see me. Right now she is trying to get a post here on the Explorer,” Richardson explained while they walked along the corridors to the shuttle.

“She’s an engineer, right?” Elisabeth recalled.

“Yes, just promoted to Lt. Cmdr.,” he said proudly.

“May I ask what happened to her mother?” Alicia queried, forgetting her nervousness for the time being.

“She died during birth. It was complicated and the doctors weren’t able to save her life,” Richardson explained sadly.

“Wasn’t it hard to parent her on your own?” The compassion was evident in Alicia’s voice and on her young face.

“It was a challenge,” he confirmed, smiling fondly. “She has the same attributes like her mother but I am happy to have her. And I think she has become a strong, confident and stubborn woman.”

“Should you say that about your own daughter?” Alicia teased and they had to laugh.

“These are the terms she uses to describe herself,” he exclaimed in mock surprise, lifting his arms in an innocent gesture.

“Well, I wish her luck,” Elisabeth said when they arrived at the shuttle.

“Thank you. I will tell her that and see you again in one week, ladies.” He bid them farewell before they entered the shuttlecraft and they also said goodbye.

Without distraction Alicia’s nervousness was back and she squirmed in her seat next to Elisabeth. Elisabeth tried to make conversation with Alicia and they were soon deep in discussion. The journey to Germany was over faster than Alicia would have wished for.

They slipped into the parkas before leaving the transporter station for the short walk through the snow to the Schmidt’s house. It was located in the periphery of Karlsruhe in the south of Germany. Alicia entered the access code while Elisabeth stayed next to the door out of sight.

“Mom, are you there?” Alicia called from the door and an older and a bit shorter version of herself met her in the hall.

They wrapped their arms around each other.

“It’s good to have you back, honey. How was the trip?” Kerstin asked in an alto voice, realizing that the door was still open. “Don’t you want to ask your guest in? It’s too cold.”

Alicia looked at her mother uneasily who lifted an inquiring eyebrow like her daughter so often did.

“I won’t rip her head off,” Kerstin reassured and Alicia’s eyes widened.

“How… Why… What…?” Alicia wasn’t able to form a coherent question and Elisabeth stepped inside before Kerstin was able to fetch her herself.

“Elisabeth,” Kerstin said, nodding slightly.

“Kerstin,” Elisabeth replied.

Alicia was still not able to say anything or move. She just stared at her mother in disbelief.

“I prepared a light dinner. I hope you are hungry.”

Kerstin led them into the kitchen where the table was set for three. Alicia followed automatically when Elisabeth slid her arm around her waist after they had slipped out of their parkas.

“What’s going on here?” Alicia whispered when they walked.

“I don’t know. Let’s find out.” Elisabeth helped Alicia to the place next to Kerstin, taking the seat at Kerstin’s other side.

Kerstin filled their plates with broccoli casserole. She was secretly enjoying the loss her daughter and Elisabeth seemed to be at.

Alicia didn’t eat when Kerstin was finished placing the plate in front of her, only staring at her mother with wide unbelieving eyes. She wasn’t able to comprehend why Kerstin hadn’t ripped Elisabeth’s head off, not that she wanted that of course, but treating her like the next person.

“Mom?” Alicia asked after a while of uncomfortable silence until she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Honey?” Kerstin asked in return, Elisabeth watching silently.

“Why are we sitting here?” Alicia wanted to know, not taking her eyes off her mother.

“Because you are back from a deep space mission and wanted to see me?” Kerstin suggested.

“Mom, you know what I mean,” Alicia said menacingly. “Don’t beat around the bush, please.”

“Ok, ok,” Kerstin relented and began to eat.

Elisabeth followed suit after saying “Enjoy your meal.”

“I’ve had some very interesting chats during the past months,” Kerstin revealed.

“With whom?” Alicia asked suspiciously.

“Christine.”

Elisabeth and Alicia looked at each other with wide eyes. Kerstin had talked to Alicia’s former best friend about them?! What did this have to mean?

“You talked to Christine Smith?” Alicia turned back to her mother.

“No, Miller of course,” Kerstin replied in mock surprise. “Though maybe I should also talk to your ex best friend.” Kerstin seemed to be deep in thought.

Elisabeth was shocked and put her fork down. Kerstin had chatted with her mother and she was embarrassed about it. She had avoided any contact during the last five years after the questions and accusations became too much to bear.

“Anyway,” Kerstin sighed. “Christine told me that Elisabeth is not as cold as I thought. That she had ended the contact with her family five years ago when she couldn’t take the questions any longer.”

Alicia looked at Elisabeth inquiringly but Elisabeth didn’t say a word and avoided eye contact.

“Questions from Christine and her sister Rhea why she had left you behind. Why she hadn’t talked to you. Why she was still running away. Why she wouldn’t try to come to terms with things past.” Kerstin turned her head to Elisabeth now after she had looked down onto her plate. “Why you had left Alicia in the first place though they all knew that you loved my daughter.”

Elisabeth knew that she had to answer these questions now and Alicia knew it anyway.

“I left Alicia because I thought I was too old for her as some people told me.” Elisabeth’s eyes were on Alicia the whole time. She could feel Kerstin’s scrutiny. “I didn’t talk to Alicia because I didn’t want to influence her more than I already had. I still thought that I wouldn’t be adequate… fitting for Alicia. Our difference in age hadn’t changed, had it?” Elisabeth looked at Kerstin now who was only lifting an eyebrow and Elisabeth gazed at Alicia again. “Yes, I do love Alicia and I went away because there was a certain someone who had told me to leave. To let Alicia evolve into a normal young person laughing, bantering with people of the same age and most of all… having relationships with them.”

“Did my daughter ever indicate that that was what she wanted?” Kerstin asked seriously, drawing Elisabeth’s attention and the auburn haired woman just shook her head. “So why didn’t you just talk to her and ask? I know my daughter to be a person who states her intentions and speaks her mind. If she didn’t tell you to mind your own business or whatever then that was what she wanted. Didn’t it ever occur to you it was you she wanted?”

Alicia watched the exchange not at all minding that they talked about her like she wasn’t in the room.

Elisabeth took her eyes off of Alicia now reluctantly, gazing at Kerstin. “Because I was insecure that a wonderful young woman like your daughter would still love me when someone more suitable would come along. Because I thought she would become tired of me at some point and think that she had wasted her time with me. I was just so damn in-confident and I wasn’t able to admit it to anyone…”

“And now you aren’t anymore? Can you honestly say that you won’t abandon my daughter again?” Kerstin wanted to know.

Elisabeth took a deep breath, smiling crookedly at the older Schmidt woman and turned her eyes to Alicia again. She took the hand lying next to Alicia’s plate on the table and gazed at the love of her life, feeling as confident as never before in her life. “I know what loss means after I spent the last two decades cursing myself for abandoning the love of my life. Every single day I wished I hadn’t done it but I knew that I couldn’t reverse it. And I know with clarity like never before that I don’t want to lose you ever again. I don’t want to live one single day without you in my life anymore. I love you more than anything else in the universe and I will always do.”

Alicia felt tears streaming down her face, the pure love evident in Elisabeth’s words, in her voice and on her face. The dark blue eyes shone from deep emotions. She was speechless, not able to say anything. She squeezed the hand holding her own tightly and almost forgot the third person in the room.

“If you should do it anyway… be sure that I will really rip your head off next time,” Kerstin vowed and smiled fondly before returning to her meal.

“I love you, too,” Alicia whispered when she found her voice again, wiping her tears away with her free hand.

They ate dinner in silence now, Kerstin looking from one woman to the other who exchanged loving gazes from time to time. She was happy that her daughter had found the love of her life again. She had always known that… what was the old proverb again? If you really love someone, you should set them free… if they come back… one day… it was meant to be.

From the day, Alicia had been together with Elisabeth, Kerstin hadn’t seen her unhappy anymore until the day, Elisabeth had left. The relationship to the older woman made her daughter confident, passionate and the love made her a whole new person. There hadn’t been a single day that she was disturbed by the fact that Alicia was dating a woman 13 years her senior. It didn’t matter as long as Elisabeth made Alicia happy.

“When did you know that Elisabeth and I would get together again?” Alicia asked when they were sitting in the living room, sipping hot beverages.

Kerstin had taken a seat in her favorite most comfortable armchair, while her daughter and her fiancée were lounging on the couch. They cuddled lovingly. Neither Elisabeth nor Alicia thought it inappropriate to show such affection in front of Kerstin. She still seemed to approve of her daughter’s relationship with the older woman.

“From the day you told me that Elisabeth is Counselor on the Explorer,” Kerstin admitted, smiling upon the wide-eyed gaze from her daughter. “I knew that you are meant to be.”

“Where’s my little Licia?” a strong, deep male voice sounded from the door and Alicia shot up. She embraced her father who was towering over her. He wrapped her in a bear-like hug.

Elisabeth watched Alicia’s vulnerability in her father’s presence and the adoring look on the old man’s weathered, prominent face. He had the piercing dark blue eyes and gray hair. The normally strong confident woman looked fragile in the arms of this bear of a man. Her face was open showing the love she felt for her father and how much she admired him.

“It’s good to know that you are back,” he whispered proudly and looked into the eyes of his only child.

“It’s good to be back,” she affirmed, smiling lovingly up at him.

They entered the living room through the big archway; Christian kissed his wife on the cheek before shaking Elisabeth’s hand. Kerstin got up, prepared dinner for her husband and kept company with him.

Alicia and Elisabeth enjoyed their togetherness, watching the snow fall outside through the huge panoramic window. Alicia’s back was resting against the armrest, her feet on the couch; Elisabeth was lying on top of her with her back against her fiancée’s front.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your family?” Alicia whispered nuzzling Elisabeth’s ear tenderly.

“Is it important?” Elisabeth leaned into the touch.

“It’s bothering you, so it’s important. Yes.” Alicia wrapped her arms around Elisabeth from behind.

“Rhea was the worst. She was so fascinated by you and if she’d thought she’d have any chance with you, she would have tried after I left. But she knew that you loved me as I love you and she told me what an idiot I was to leave you behind. Every time I visited them, she said the same things. Asked the same old questions as if my own bad conscience wasn’t enough of a torture and at some point I just wasn’t able to stand it anymore. I broke all ties and it became bearable again,” Elisabeth explained quietly. “I didn’t want to be constantly reminded of how stupid I was. What a big mistake I had made. And… I had done it again. I ran away once more. I tell my patients to face their fears, talk about their problems and I myself… am not able to act on my own advice. What a Counselor am I?”

“A very good one… for others,” Alicia said softly against Elisabeth’s ear. “And I hope you’ve learned from your mistakes.”

“Of course I have. I’m not THAT stupid,” Elisabeth joked, stroking Alicia’s hands around her own torso.

They sat there in silence for a while, watching the snow whirl outside until Kerstin and Christian joined them again. They took seats at the opposite side of the couch in a similar position.

Kerstin’s features were a bit softer than Alicia’s but with the same high cheekbones, the same piercing sky blue eyes and the body was nearly the same. Alicia inherited her pointed nose from her father who had the same cleft chin 

Reluctantly Elisabeth got up from her comfortable position in Alicia’s arms. “Just a minute, please.” She went to her bag, retrieved the bottle of red wine she had bought some years ago for a special occasion and returned to the living room.

Elisabeth sat down next to Alicia who was now sitting on the couch in a normal position again, facing her parents. She held the bottle in her hand and looked at Kerstin and Christian for a while who were both smiling slightly.

“Kerstin, Christian, I love your daughter and I would like to marry her if you agree,” Elisabeth said confidently, not breaking eye contact.

Elisabeth let the scrutiny happen, both pairs of blue eyes watching her intently, obviously moved by the fact that she had actually asked them to marry their daughter. She could see that their eyes finally settled on Alicia at her back. They must have liked what they saw there because their smiles grew brighter.

Elisabeth felt strong arms slip around her shoulders from behind, pinning her to the soft bosom of Alicia and she nuzzled Elisabeth’s ear again.

Kerstin was able to see the happiness of her daughter who had been a strong woman during the last 20 years. But she was never as happy as she was at this moment with the woman she loved in her arms. Kerstin was happy that Alicia had Elisabeth back. She was also sure that Elisabeth wouldn’t make the same mistake again which made her agree to the marriage without a second thought.

Christian liked Elisabeth from the day Alicia had introduced them but he was a bit skeptical because of the difference in age. The fact that he had never before seen his daughter as exuberant and happy as with Elisabeth had convinced him that it didn’t matter how old a person was when love was everything that counted. He was able to see that they loved each other unconditionally. He hadn’t understood why Elisabeth left. Like his wife he had known that if his daughter and Elisabeth really belonged to each other they would find a way again. Obviously they had been right if the love that shone from the faces of the women in front of him was anything to go by. So it wasn’t difficult for him to agree to the marriage.

Kerstin and Christian exchanged a glance before turning their attention back to Elisabeth. Both nodded their heads which made Elisabeth breathe in relief.

“Thank you. I promise never to leave Alicia again because the past two decades have been awful. I never want to feel that way again. I love your daughter with all my heart,” Elisabeth whispered. She hooked her hands onto the arms around her upper chest and squeezed tightly after Kerstin had taken the bottle.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” Christian asked after they looked at the label nodding appreciatively.

“Not for me, thank you. I promised your daughter to celibate and I can’t keep it if alcohol is involved,” Elisabeth confessed which earned her a pinch from Alicia into her left shoulder and approving nods from her parents.

“So, do you prefer separate rooms?” Kerstin asked teasingly.

“Alicia is a temptation but I’d like to spend the nights in her arms. We’ve managed it for over a month now so another 24 days shouldn’t be a problem, should they?” Another pinch made her squeal from pain.

Alicia’s parents laughed whole-heartedly, happy that the soon-to-be wife of their daughter was as open as Alicia herself.

“I’ll get you back for that,” Alicia whispered into Elisabeth’s ear, breathing into it for a while deliberately.

“I love you, too,” Elisabeth whispered back, smiling broadly. She sneaked her hands to Alicia’s sides and tickled her mercilessly which made Alicia scream from laughter but she didn’t let go of Elisabeth.

Kerstin and Christian watched the exchange happily. They grinned broadly when they saw the utter delight on Elisabeth’s face upon hearing their daughter laugh whole-heartedly. After some small talk both couples retreated to their respective rooms.


	24. March 8, 2438, Time: 17:24:56, SD 115182.81

The next day both couples took a long walk in the snow, talking about important things like the wedding in a few weeks. They got warm again with hot beverages in the living room, continuing their conversation. The women began to make plans after which Alicia and Elisabeth left Alicia’s parents for the time being to visit Elisabeth’s family near Kokomo, Indiana.

Now it was Elisabeth’s turn to be nervous though she knew that her family was aware of the situation. Most likely her father wouldn’t be there but at Headquarters as he was an Admiral in Starfleet. He made her enter the Academy in the end at the age of 25 after she hadn’t wanted to become a teacher anymore. Though her marks had been very good and she had had a Bachelor in Pedagogy.

Elisabeth’s family was skeptical when they’d learned that she was dating a woman half her age. It lasted until the morning after they arrived in Indiana. Until they saw how Elisabeth and Alicia interacted and how much they seemed to love each other.

When Elisabeth ended the relationship they thought she had gone crazy. They took every opportunity to needle her with questions about the why. When it had gotten too painful she ended the contact, not even speaking to them on birthdays or other anniversaries.

Again in their black parkas, they stepped off the transporter dais in Kokomo, Indiana in the late afternoon. It was nearly dark when they arrived at the house of Elisabeth’s parents where Christine, a diminutive red-haired woman with undeniable resemblance to Elisabeth opened the door. She had the same strong jaw, piercing blue-gray eyes and slight frame with the aura of command. She was only 5 feet 2 compared to Alicia’s nearly 6 feet but it didn’t matter.

Christine shot her oldest daughter a withering look before gazing at Alicia fondly who was smiling brightly at the older Miller-woman. She always cursed her daughter for ending the relationship with Alicia in the first place. After Elisabeth told her that she dated a woman who was 13 years her junior she was afraid that her daughter would get hurt when Alicia realized that she needed someone of her own age. But at the first day they were in their home, Christine was able to see the love Alicia felt for Elisabeth and knew that she would do anything to make her stubborn daughter happy. And they had been happy for two years. The unconditional love they felt for each other made them strong and she had never before seen Elisabeth so happy, so content and loved. All the more surprising it was when Elisabeth had told her that she would take an assignment on a starship while Alicia remained on the Academy. The next thing she knew was that her daughter withdrew and didn’t want to talk about Alicia anymore. It took two months before she was able to confess that she had ended the relationship by just running away. Christine was furious with Elisabeth. So it was no wonder that she now regarded her with a look of reproach though she couldn’t see anything like it in Alicia’s face. There was only love and joy in the features of the blond woman. She asked them in, pretending to ignore Elisabeth for a while.

“Alicia, dear. How are you?” Christine asked in a voice resembling Elisabeth’s but it wasn’t as husky. She embraced Alicia warmly.

“I’m fine again. Thank you, Christine and you?” Alicia answered fondly returning the embrace, smiling.

Elisabeth knew that her mother did this on purpose. She discarded her parka while Christine talked to Alicia. She had expected nothing less after she had just broken contact with her family. It would take some time until they’d forgive her.

“Never felt better, thank you. It’s nice to see you again after all those years,” Christine said. She helped Alicia slip off the parka shooting her daughter an accusing look when she hung it on the hallstand.

For the next few hours Christine treated Alicia like the lost daughter and merely tolerated Elisabeth’s presence in her house. That hurt the younger woman deeply and she thought about leaving but Alicia wouldn’t let her go.

“I hadn’t expected it to hurt so much,” Elisabeth whispered when she was lying in bed with Alicia. The younger woman snuggled against her back from behind, arms wrapped around her protectively. Her chin rested on Elisabeth’s shoulder.

“You said it yourself that it would take time until they treat you the same way as before.” Alicia tightened her hold on Elisabeth and placed a loving kiss on her cheek.

“I feel like a stranger.” The tears in Elisabeth’s voice were obvious.

Alicia turned her around, placing herself half on top of Elisabeth. She wrapped her arms around the smaller frame again and gazed at the love of her life. Elisabeth’s eyes were stormy gray.

“They love you. You can’t resent them that they’re hurt after you broke contact with them so abruptly. Give them time. Until our wedding they’ll have forgiven you,” Alicia whispered. She was happy when she heard Elisabeth chuckle despite the tears still streaming down her cheeks.

“Ally, you’re such a wonderful woman. I love you so very much,” Elisabeth husked, capturing the full lips in a brief, slow, loving kiss.

“I love you, too,” Alicia whispered after they had parted again. She rested her head against the inviting shoulder and murmured. “Good night, sweet Elly. Sleep tight, my love.”

It was obvious for Elisabeth that Alicia wouldn’t let go of her during the night. She wrapped her arms in a comfortable position around Alicia, entangling their legs before responding: “Good night, sunshine.”


	25. March 9, 2438, Time: 20:13:16, SD 115185.87

Elisabeth was sitting in her favorite armchair in the living room in front of the fire. Alicia was talking to the Millers, gathered around the low glass table on the couches. Elisabeth had to force back the tears which were trying to escape her eyes because of the pain she felt. The whole day long everybody except Alicia ignored her though she realized it was hard for her father after he arrived from San Francisco in the late morning. But he kept it up.

Rhea was a totally different story. She seemed to enjoy the whole situation, trying to flirt with Alicia brazenly in front of her eyes. Alicia kept her distance and held her at arm’s length.

Christine watched the back of the chair her oldest daughter was sitting in when the conversation slowed down a bit. Alicia excused herself for a moment. Christine had seen the hurt in Elisabeth’s eyes. She could have slapped Rhea for some of her comments and her shameless flirting with Alicia who hadn’t been responsive to the advances of course. The love she felt for Elisabeth was still plain to see after two decades of separation while she had helped Christine prepare lunch and dinner.

Alicia wanted to end the pain all this caused her fiancée and hoped that her next move would do just that.

Elisabeth was startled out of her reverie, watching the flames dance before her when a hand was put onto her shoulder. She followed the strong arm, clad in a Starfleet-issued blue-gray shirt to the smiling face of her fiancée, holding out her hand now. Without saying a word she took it and was led to the couch where she sat down at the farthest corner. Alicia took the seat next to her like a barrier against Christine and William, sitting at the opposite end.

“So what’s up now?” Rhea asked in a cheerful voice. She was sitting on another couch near her parents, flipping her red hair back over her shoulder. She looked at Alicia interestedly with gray eyes.

Christine shot her a look which told her to be quiet and Rhea complied without another word.

Elisabeth was looking down on her hands in her lap resignedly and waited for things to come. She hadn’t expected what happened next and looked at the back of Alicia’s head in amazement upon hearing her words.

“Christine, William, I know that it wasn’t easy for you recently. I understand that it’s hard for you to have Elisabeth here again, but I ask you to forgive her. I was angry with her and I’ve learned that I still love her like all those years ago.” Alicia didn’t take her eyes off Elisabeth’s parents while holding a present in her hands. “I want to marry your daughter. Will you allow it?” Alicia offered Christine the packet of herbal tea she had bought at a space station on their deep space mission. She knew they would like it and the older woman took it with a smile on her face.

“How could we deny a love that is so strong? That lasts two decades without you seeing each other?” Christine whispered. She put the present aside and wrapped both women in a strong embrace after she had gotten up from her seat. “I wish you both all the luck in the world. I know that my headstrong daughter won’t make the same mistake again.”

The relief on William’s face was obvious and he embraced his daughter forcefully after she was released by Christine. “I love you, sweety,” he whispered into her ear and smiled at her fondly before wrapping Alicia in a bear hug much like her own father’s one.

Rhea fell into line and another stern look from Christine told her that the teasing was over. She really behaved herself for some time.

Alicia and Elisabeth switched places and they took their habitual position when they were not alone. Elisabeth in the arms of her taller fiancée while they listened to stories the family had to tell. Alicia was laughing most of the time while Elisabeth enjoyed not being ignored anymore and listened silently.

Elisabeth let the rich laughter of Alicia wash over her frayed nerves. The sound soothed her like nothing else and she snuggled deeper into the warm embrace. It made her feel safe and loved as Alicia placed tender kisses at her ear from time to time.

Christine watched the couple intently and it was obvious to her that they still loved each other unconditionally. Alicia enjoyed the closeness to Elisabeth and every time she placed a kiss at Elisabeth’s ear both of them closed their eyes for a moment. They seemed to forget everything else around them. It was wonderful to see them together again and she knew that her stubborn daughter would never make the same mistake again. She lost Alicia, the most wonderful woman she ever had once and she wouldn’t want to lose her ever again. That was for sure for Christine.

The next few days were spent planning the wedding. Kerstin arrived the day before Elisabeth and Alicia had to return to the Explorer. She would stay in Indiana for at least a week until everything was settled.


	26. March 13, 2438, Time: 11:59:47, SD 115195.89

In the shuttle on their way back to the Explorer they agreed to finally tell Richardson about their engagement. They were now looking for him after entering the ship.

“Computer, locate Captain Richardson,” Elisabeth stated.

“Captain Richardson is currently not on board this ship,” the monotone, feminine voice of the computer responded.

Elisabeth looked at Alicia, both of them astonished about the news because they knew Richardson to be a man who was always on time. Most of the time he was even too early for appointments. It was not at all like him not to be on the ship by noon.

“Not on board yet?” Elisabeth said quietly, walking next to Alicia along the corridor.

“Weird,” Alicia affirmed in her soft alto voice before stepping onto the turbolift.

“Deck 3. Computer, inform me as soon as Captain Richardson arrives,” Elisabeth ordered.

“Acknowledged,” came the prompt response.

“See you in the messhall in 20 minutes,” Alicia said after a quick kiss when they arrived on Deck 3. They parted for a while.

Exactly 20 minutes later they met in front of the doors to the messhall again after they had taken a quick shower and changed into their teal uniforms.

Upon stepping into the sensors of the doors they opened. Loud well-wishes arose, everybody was clapping their hands. In the middle of the huge crowd which was almost too big for the confines of the relatively small room was Richardson, cheering and applauding louder than anybody else.

Alicia grabbed Elisabeth’s hand to not lose her in the melee; together they stepped all the way inside and received hugs and congratulations on their way to Richardson grinning impishly.

They hardly recognized the doors open once more. The surprise was huge when their families were suddenly standing in front of them, embracing them enthusiastically like they hadn’t seen each other for years.

Some time later and after every single person congratulated them and they had eaten from the offered food as well as tasted the drinks, Elisabeth and Alicia were sitting at a table surrounded by their families. Captain Richardson, Lisa, Commander Ranton, Doctor Thompson and some other people Elisabeth knew were also there.

“I am happy for you that it worked out this way,” Lisa stated smiling brightly when the conversations lulled a bit. She lifted her glass of champagne. “To true love,” she toasted and everybody joined in, clinking their glasses to the couple’s.

Alicia and Elisabeth were holding hands the whole time. Friends and families exchanged anecdotes and stories about the two officers. The room was filled with laughter and everybody had a good time.

When they began to talk about some serious topics, Thompson was the one to point out something important. “If it wasn’t for Alicia, we certainly wouldn’t even sit here.”

All eyes were on him. The families looked at the young man, sitting opposite of Alicia quizzically. The officers from the Explorer knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Doctor?” Christine was the first to ask.

“Elisabeth was badly hurt on an away mission and Alicia saved her life four times. It was amazing to watch her fight for the Counselor’s life. I’ve never seen anybody as determined before,” Thompson said with awe in his voice, looking at Alicia the whole time, who nodded in thanks for the compliment.

Christine went pale, staring at her daughter like she was some kind of ghost. “Oh my god,” she breathed. “Why didn’t anybody say something about this before?”

William held his wife in a strong embrace, gazing at Alicia with shining blue eyes. “Alicia, I want to thank you for saving Elisabeth’s life. I was so relieved when I read your final report that she was recovering again.”

Christine turned around in a flash. “You knew about it?! Why didn’t you tell me?” Elisabeth’s mother was furious now.

“Because I also knew that you’d be a nervous wreck until Elisabeth would be back on Earth safe and sound,” William answered, smiling at his wife lovingly. “Though I should have told you as soon as Elisabeth arrived. It would have saved her a lot of pain.” William reached around his wife sitting to Elisabeth’s left. He placed his big left paw on top of Elisabeth’s hand which was entwined with Alicia’s on the table. He gazed at his daughter apologetically. “Can you forgive me for not telling them right away?”

“I’m sorry,” Christine whispered, tears streaming down her face. Elisabeth wrapped her arms around her mother in a strong embrace after releasing the two hands holding her own. “I didn’t know. If I had known…”

Christine was shocked like never before in her entire life of 70 years. She felt guilty that she treated Elisabeth like an outsider when they had first arrived in Kokomo, though she could have lost her. She should have been thankful that she still had Elisabeth. She berated herself though she couldn’t have known about it. She cursed inwardly, letting free rein to her tears of guilt and sorrow. At the same time she was endlessly happy and thankful that Alicia had saved her daughter’s life. She gazed at the blond woman with a smile of thanks on her tearful face. Alicia looked back at her, smiling brightly, obviously understanding her intention.

Alicia took Christine’s right hand which was fiercely gripping at Elisabeth’s back. She squeezed it reassuringly. She was able to imagine how Christine must have felt at that very moment.

“Sssh, Mom… it’s all right,” Elisabeth tried to reassure her. “I know that I hurt you and I deserved this treatment. Somehow it was necessary for me to feel this way. To know what it felt like what I did to you in a way. I am also sorry, Mom.”

The people around the table watched the scene unfold. Thompson felt like fleeing but Lisa’s hand on his right shoulder stopped him from leaving.

Christine calmed down in the loving embrace of her daughter. Alicia’s warm hand was in her own and she took a deep breath when the tears subsided. “I am sorry,” Christine said again.

“Stop it,” Elisabeth ordered, slipping her left arm around her mother’s shoulder and looking around. “I don’t want anybody to feel guilty or anything anymore. Not you, Mom. You did nothing wrong.” She looked at every single person she was talking to. “Nor you, Doctor Thompson, for bringing up the issue. And you least of all, Dad for not telling anybody. And you are right. She would probably have stolen a ship to make sure I was all right.”

That elicited laughter from everyone and Christine placed a gentle kiss on Elisabeth’s cheek, taking an upright position again. Christine wrapped her left arm around her husband’s waist who returned the gesture. Her right arm was still around Elisabeth and Alicia held her hand. Elisabeth took Alicia’s free hand with her right one, entwining their fingers while her left arm still rested upon her mother’s shoulders.

Kerstin and Christian watched the situation without saying a word from Alicia’s right. Everybody was able to see the pride they felt for their daughter on their smiling faces.

Thompson breathed in relief.

All eyes were on the happy couple when the laughter died down.

“And now I want to hear more stories about Alicia,” Elisabeth said, grinning wickedly and everybody who had to tell a story, did just that.

“Well…” Thompson started after clearing his throat. All eyes were fixed on him and suspicion was obvious in most of them. “Nothing serious this time,” he reassured.

Realization dawned in Alicia’s mind and she tried to stop Thompson but it was too late.

“That first night after the attack Counselor Miller had a heart attack. We hailed Doctor Schmidt whose shift had ended and… within seconds she materialized in Sickbay dressed in satin pajamas.”

The whole room was filled with resounding laughter for the rest of the day.


	27. March 13, 2438, Time: 18:28:43, SD 115196.63

Rhea was silent since she learned that Elisabeth nearly died. She seemed to be lost in her own thoughts which hadn’t gone unnoticed by her older sister.

Rhea loved to tease and needle her sister. She loved and adored her for her achievements and her strength despite everything that happened though she would never tell her in person. Seeing her die was the last thing she wanted. She regretted how she treated Elisabeth when she first arrived in Kokomo after five years without any contact.

From the first day Rhea laid eyes on Alicia she had been head over heels in love with her. She had known from the start that she would never have a chance with her because the unconditional love she felt for Elisabeth was obvious in everything she did or said. It was visible in every single eye contact she made with Elisabeth. So she loved Alicia from afar.

When Elisabeth dumped Alicia she could have killed her sister for her stupidity. She always told her to go back and asked why Elisabeth had done it in the first place countless times. She hadn’t been able to understand how her sister could leave such a wonderful woman to spend the rest of her life without Alicia. If she had known that she would have the slightest chance with Alicia she would have tried to get close to her. She knew that the love the younger woman felt for Elisabeth wouldn’t vanish just because her stupid sister wasn’t around. That’s the thing with true love, it would always find a way and she learned this once again.

Since Rhea could remember, Elisabeth was always there for her, helping her when she fell as a little girl. Her older sister told her everything there was to know about sex. Elisabeth was there for Rhea to cry on her shoulder when her first boyfriend broke up with her at the age of 12. The older girl was again there when her first girlfriend left her at the age of 13. It had been this way until the day Elisabeth went to University to become a teacher when Rhea was 18. She missed her older sister so much but she would have never admitted this to anyone. During Elisabeth’s first holidays the teasing started and she didn’t stop to think. Until now. She vowed to never tease her sister again because life was too short. You never knew when something would happen.

Rhea trailed behind when the families said goodbye to Alicia and Elisabeth for the time being. She wanted to have a word with the couple in private before she joined her parents to fly back to Earth.

The messhall doors swished open and the view greeting her took Rhea’s breath away. A diminutive blond woman with piercing dark brown eyes entered the room. She was dressed in a yellow uniform with two golden and one black pip on her collar. She was obviously searching for someone. The smile on her face reminded her of someone but Rhea couldn’t place it right now. A smile suddenly brightened her face.

Rhea’s heart stopped when she walked in their direction. It skipped a beat when she stopped in front of her, smiling brightly before turning to Richardson. He was standing next to Rhea, talking to her father with his back to the blond woman.

The blonde had to get onto tiptoes to place her hand on Richardson’s shoulder. He swiveled around immediately, taking her into a bear hug. “Angela, there you are. I was wondering what kept you so long.”

Angela freed herself from the embrace; her face became serious while she stepped back a bit and saluted. “Lt. Cmdr. Richardson reporting for duty, Captain Richardson,” she said in a light voice, holding Richardson’s gaze. Everybody around them became quiet.

“Welcome on board the U.S.S. Explorer, Lt. Cmdr. Richardson,” Richardson replied, saluting shortly himself. Then he hugged his daughter again when the formalities were over.

Angela felt the gray eyes of the tall red-haired woman on herself the whole time. She didn’t acknowledge her at all. The staring unnerved her immensely even when her father placed his arm around her shoulder..

Rhea tore her eyes off Angela though it was very hard. The smaller woman mesmerized her. Rhea looked at Alicia and Elisabeth who were free now, ready to talk to her.

Angela watched the red-haired woman join the couple she knew was Counselor Miller and Doctor Schmidt. It was obvious to her that Miller and the tall redhead were siblings.

“Rhea, don’t even think about it,” Elisabeth warned in her husky voice. Her left arm rested around Alicia’s waist and she smiled brightly up at her sister.

“I have to,” Rhea insisted. “Please.”

Alicia watched the exchange with an amused expression on her face. She gazed down at Elisabeth when she saw her head move in her direction and Alicia just shrugged.

“Lilly, I’m sorry,” Rhea mumbled after Elisabeth nodded her agreement. The amazement was obvious on her sister’s face.

Rhea hadn’t called her Lilly since Elisabeth left for University. Hearing her say the pet name after all those years now made her eyes tear up.

“I promise to be a good girl from now on, big sis,” Rhea said quietly. She hugged Elisabeth warmly who returned it with strong arms after releasing Alicia.

“It’s okay, Sweetie,” Elisabeth reassured her, rubbing the back of her taller sister. She looked into the sparkling gray eyes when they parted. “Just try not to be so damn cheeky.”

“I will,” Rhea answered, looking at Alicia now. “I wish you both all the luck in the universe. I’m happy to have such a wonderful sister-in-law.” She embraced Alicia swiftly, releasing her again before she would want to stay this way forever.

She said goodbye and joined her parents without taking another look at the small blonde. The Millers were waiting at the doors to the messhall.

Elisabeth gazed after Rhea until Richardson and his daughter joined them. She placed her arm around Alicia’s waist once again.

“Doctor Schmidt, Counselor Miller. May I introduce Angela to you? Angel, this is Doctor Alicia Schmidt and Counselor Elisabeth Miller,” Richardson said proudly while the women shook hands.

“Nice to meet you,” Angela stated with a smile. “My father has told me a lot about you.”

“I hope, only good things,” Elisabeth responded, laughing.

“Of course, dear Elisabeth,” Richardson replied. Angela looked at him reproachfully before laughing herself.

“Oh, I nearly forgot… congratulations for your engagement. I wish you a lot of luck,” Angela said warmly. Despite the different hair color, the resemblance with Richardson was obvious in the similar prominent face.

“Thank you and we hope you will be happy aboard the Explorer,” Alicia replied for both of them, smiling brightly.

The rest of the evening progressed in quiet, with small talk and dinner in the messhall. They spent it with Richardson and his daughter before they retreated to Alicia’s quarters which would soon become their shared quarters.


	28. March 27, 2438, Time: 15:21:31, SD 115234.63

The next two weeks went by in a blur as the Explorer was on her way through the Alpha Quadrant again. Elisabeth and Alicia were in nearly daily contact with Earth as the plans for the wedding progressed nicely.

Three days before the wedding, Alicia was back in Germany spending her last free days with her parents. Elisabeth was with her family in Indiana where the celebrations would take place.

The past weeks were hard on Alicia. After their return to the ship it became increasingly difficult to leave her fingers off of her fiancée. The only thing she wanted to do was to finally make love to Elisabeth again. She had gone nearly crazy with the desire raging through her body. She felt like the teenager from 20 years ago again. She asked Elisabeth for separate sleeping arrangements because she couldn’t be held responsible for her actions anymore otherwise. She wasn’t able to think straight anymore as long as she was in Elisabeth’s presence. She could hardly wait for their arrival on Risa where they would spend their two week honeymoon.

Alicia was sitting on the couch in the living room reminiscing about her past while she tried to formulate a vow for the wedding.

Alicia was five when the doctors first realized that her eyes were very bad. She insisted on wearing old-fashioned glasses instead of surgery which would have been very easy in the late 24th century. She saw glasses in one of her old books and was fascinated by them. So she begged until her parents agreed and replicated a black frame with thick lenses. She was laughed at from all the children in her classes but she didn’t cared. She liked the glasses and that was the most important thing.

Alicia was different from the other children. She was withdrawn, read books and made homework while others were playing outside or spending time with their friends. Her parents learned early on that they weren’t able to make Alicia do anything she didn’t want to do.

At the age of 7 she found a young blackbird which had fallen from its nest. She took it with her and was able to feed it until it was grown. She cared for it, called it Susi and from the day Susi was out of danger she knew that she wanted to become a doctor. But not one for animals for humans. She studied everything she could get about the human anatomy. She devoured everything there was to know about humans in general. Her marks at school had always been the best so it wasn’t hard for her to do what she wanted.

In the summers she was often sitting in the garden until late at night. She looked up at the stars and asked herself what it would be like to be on a starship. She remembered the day she made her decision like it was yesterday.

~~  
Alicia had been ten and at school they talked about Starfleet for the first time. She asked a lot of questions and in the end the teacher was annoyed by her enthusiasm. She gave her access to the databanks, describing Starfleet and its contents. She was fascinated to no end. Of course she found Starfleet Academy and the things she would want to do at once.

When the school day was over she went to her teacher. The teacher was sitting at her desk, reading an essay and Miss Müller looked up, smiling brightly. “Alicia, I’m sorry that I cut you so short. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, I know, Miss Müller,” she answered, pushing her glasses up her nose a bit.

She learned early on that she was brighter than most of the other children but Miss Müller never made her feel different. The teacher always supported her like that day when she gave Alicia access to the databanks. Alicia had really liked the teacher for her help.

“Good, so what have you found?” Miss Müller wanted to know.

“Starfleet Academy,” she answered seriously, some PADDs in her hands.

“And what do you want to do?” Miss Müller put her PADD aside.

“I want to become a doctor on a starship.”

Miss Müller beamed at her and the smile made Alicia feel warm.

“I wish you good luck and I am sure that you will make it, Alicia.”

“Thank you, Miss Müller. I have to go now. My father is waiting. See you tomorrow,” Alicia said and turned around to join her father.

When they sat at the table in the kitchen together with her mother, the most beautiful woman Alicia knew and adored for her beauty and the wonderful heart, she told them about her plans.

“Mom, Dad. I want to become a doctor on a starship.”

Her parents glanced at each other before her father asked: “So, you finally learned about Starfleet?”

Alicia just nodded.

“Starfleet Academy is only for the best. You have to work hard to pass the exams,” her father told her. “We don’t want you to miss anything. Do you really think that is what you want?”

She was only ten but she knew that this was exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to achieve it with all her heart.

“Yes,” she simply responded.

Her parents never treated her like someone who didn’t know what she wanted. They took serious whatever she decided to pursue. She was grateful for their understanding.

“You can ask us anything you want. We’re always there for you. You know that, don’t you?” her mother asked smiling.

“Thank you.” She knew that her eyes were sparkling when her parents exchanged glances again. For the rest of dinner they talked about their respective days.  
~~

She worked really hard and sometimes she envied her fellow students for their friends. But she wanted to become the best and put everything else aside.

Until she was 16 she spent her days learning. She was still wearing the thick glasses which obscured her face and her classmates were still laughing at her because of them. They called her ugly but she didn’t care.

~~  
One day on her way home from school she walked through the city. She stopped at a shop where they showed a dance contest and she was fascinated by the movements.

Upon arriving at home, her parents were still at school, she went straight to her bedroom. She replicated some things like a fitting outfit for dancing and so on. She left her shoulder length hair open which she usually wore in a loose ponytail even then. Most importantly she replicated contacts. She researched dancing, taught herself some steps and decided to go to a nightclub.

Her mother entered the house when she stepped from the stairs. Her jaw literally hit the floor upon seeing Alicia.

“Honey, what’s happened to you?” Kerstin asked in awe. She put her things aside and circled Alicia with an appreciative gaze on her face.

Alicia wore black high heeled shoes, black slacks and a black shirt with flowing sleeves. Her golden hair framed her face, cascading around her shoulders. She applied light lipstick and accentuated her eyelashes with mascara. She was uncertain because it was the first time she was dressed in something like that.

“You don’t like it?” Alicia asked uncertainly.

“Honey… far from it. On the contrary. You look great,” Kerstin said and placed a tender kiss on her cheek. “What are you up to?”

“I want to go dancing,” she answered, grinning at her mother mischievously.

“The guys will go crazy as soon as they’ll lay their eyes on you.”

That thought made her uncomfortable because she didn’t want to attract any guy. She wanted to dance nothing more and learn how it felt to move like she had seen on TV.

“I just want to dance. And boys are disgusting. Girls are much more sensitive,” Alicia remarked.

Kerstin smirked upon hearing this. Alicia hadn’t understood the expression on her mother’s face that day but looking back now she was able to identify it as recognition.

Before she went out her father arrived and was hardly able to take his eyes off Alicia. He looked at her in awe and repeated as often as he could how much she reminded him of her mother; that she was as beautiful as her.

At the nightclub the prediction of her mother came true after she was able to get accustomed to the steps. She synchronized them with the music as a cluster of men followed her every step and move. When it became too much for her she left. The looks the men threw her way unnerved her. Though she enjoyed dancing the fact that she had to watch her every step made her abandon her new hobby for that evening.

With time she got used to the crowds. She didn’t notice them anymore only concentrating on dancing and how good it felt to exhaust herself that way. She did it at least once a week during the next three years until she left for the Academy.

Though some of her classmates were at the club, male and female nobody recognized her. One of her male classmates was even in the crowd surrounding her. Due to the difference in her appearance he didn’t realize that he was hitting on the ugly girl.

After all she still wore her usual inconspicuous outfits at school as well as the thick glasses.  
~~

Before she left for the Academy she insisted on undergoing the surgery for her eyes. She vowed not to withdraw again but make friends and enjoy her time without neglecting her education.

Alicia sighed audibly, staring at the black, empty display of the PADD in her hands. She traced her initials in the lower right corner with her thumb. For the first time after 20 years she was able to do so without hurting. Instead a beautiful, loving smile graced her full red lips.

“Who gave it to you?” Kerstin asked quietly, standing next to her daughter in the archway. She took Alicia from her reverie this way.

Alicia looked up, her eyes shining from obviously wonderful memories.

“Elly,” she replied, sighing deeply again.

Kerstin stepped closer, tangling her elegant hands in the golden tresses of her daughter’s hair. Alicia rested her head against Kerstin’s abdomen.

“I miss her,” Alicia whispered.

Before Kerstin was able to say anything, Alicia’s PADD signaled an incoming transmission. Her face brightened even more when she saw Elisabeth on the small screen after accepting.

“Hi,” Alicia said dreamily and Kerstin left the lovebirds to themselves with a smile of her own on her lips.

“Hello sunshine,” Elisabeth replied. “I was just thinking of you… actually I am thinking of you the whole time… and I wanted to see you and hear your voice.” After a deep breath Elisabeth added, “I miss you.”

Alicia took in every little detail of Elisabeth’s appearance. The auburn hair was shining as she was sitting at a sunny spot. The sparkling dark blue eyes were full of love. The bright smile made her face gleam. She was wearing a light white blouse, the top buttons undone revealing her white skin dotted with freckles. The desire was back almost immediately.

“I miss you, too. My mind is blank. I am not able to formulate a single sentence let alone one word,” Alicia stated.

“Do you think there’s something we can do about it? Maybe I am a bit farther than you… I’ve already got a “You” standing there,” Elisabeth said grinning.

Alicia laughed whole-heartedly. “Wow, you are very far,” she joked when she had calmed down again. “How about we talk for a while? Maybe that will give us some inspiration.”

“That’s a very good idea, my love,” Elisabeth agreed, still an expression of utter delight on her face from Alicia’s laughter. Alicia was able to see that her fiancée made herself comfortable.

Alicia put her legs up on the couch, rested her back against the armrest and placed the PADD against her thighs as she bent her knees.

They talked for nearly an hour and said goodbye with fond smiles on their faces.


	29. March 27, 2438, Time: 17:53:57, SD 115234.92

Elisabeth flopped down on the couch in the living room. She rested the PADD on her chest, crossing her hands behind her head and closed her eyes. The soothing feeling of having talked to Alicia for almost an hour washed over her.

The PADD she used to contact Alicia with had been a gift from her during the first month of their relationship.

~~  
Elisabeth didn’t known why she had the urge but she wanted to give Alicia something special without any reason. It was neither their one month anniversary nor the celebration of their first meeting. It was a day like any other but she wanted to do something.

She worked on an essay, using the PADD her father gave her before she left Indiana for the Academy. She remembered how happy she was to have her own PADD.

It wasn’t anything extraordinary but it would show that she thought of Alicia. The PADD would always remind her of Elisabeth.

She replicated the PADD using the initials in her own handwriting to make it more special. She waited for Alicia to arrive for their date.

Alicia threw herself at Elisabeth sitting on the couch like they hadn't seen each other for months. She kissed her hungrily and Elisabeth didn’t object of course. She enjoyed Alicia’s kisses, the intense tongue play, exploring each others mouths and showing how much they meant to each other that way. Alicia was the most passionate lover she ever had. It wasn’t due to her youth but the love she felt for Elisabeth. She had realized that she herself was never that open and impassioned before.

“Sunshine, I’ve got a present for you,” she croaked when she ended the kiss.

“What for?” Alicia asked.

“Because I love you,” Elisabeth replied and handed her the PADD.

Alicia looked at it in awe, tracing the lines of the AS. She looked up at Elisabeth again with a bright smile on her face. She put it aside, wrapped her arms around Elisabeth and placed a loving kiss on her cheek.

“Thank you, my love,” she whispered before capturing Elisabeth’s mouth in another fierce kiss.

“I hadn’t expected such a reaction,” Elisabeth whispered when they held each other.

“It means a lot to me. I think it shows that you are very considerate and I love that.”

They smiled at each other, getting comfortable in their favorite position on the couch. They talked about their respective day while kissing occasionally before Alicia had to return to her quarters for the night.

Alicia’s reaction about the simple gift delighted Elisabeth to no end. She was happy that she thought of it. She couldn’t give Alicia a PADD every now and then she decided to give her flowers time and again. She loved to see Alicia’s beaming face, the lovely eyes and the full lips with the wonderful smile. She wanted to see the younger woman this way every day but that would have been too much. So she did it when she felt like it and Alicia’s reaction was always wonderful to watch.  
~~

Christine appeared in the doorway smiling upon seeing her daughter so relaxed. It was a pleasant change to the nervous wreck Elisabeth had been since her arrival in the early morning.

“Dinner is ready,” Christine informed and had to stifle the laugh when she saw Elisabeth jump off the couch. “Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you.”

“It’s all right. I was just remembering something,” Elisabeth said smiling fondly. She joined her mother at the door and they went to the kitchen.


	30. March 28, 2438, Time: 10:01:03, SD 115236.76

After a relaxing night, a nice breakfast and helping her mother in the kitchen, Elisabeth was again sitting on the couch in the living room. Again she had no idea what to write. So her thoughts drifted back in time.

~~  
The first thing Elisabeth could clearly remember was her mother’s round belly when she was about three years old.

Her mother was sitting on the couch, reading a book and stroking her belly. Elisabeth was lying on the floor, painting something with the family in it. Her mother suddenly yelped slightly.

Elisabeth was on her feet instantly, brushing her unruly shoulder length auburn hair from her face. She looked at her mother with wide eyes.

“Are you hurt?” she asked and tried to climb onto the couch.

“No, the baby just kicked me a bit,” Christine answered smiling lovingly down onto her daughter now sitting next to her. The little girl looked at her mother with serious blue-gray eyes.

“She kicked you?” Elisabeth gazed at the big round belly, knowing that it was a girl because her parents told her about it from the beginning. “”Why?”

Christine took Elisabeth’s tiny hand and placed it on her belly before explaining: “Rhea finally wants to see the world. She is very impatient.”

Elisabeth squealed in delight when she felt a small kick against her hand. “I can feel her.” She put her ear on the belly and listened intently, a broad smile on her round face.

Her mother stroked both her belly and Elisabeth’s head and it didn’t take long before she drifted off to sleep from the soothing feeling.  
~~

Elisabeth smiled upon this fond memory. She was totally smitten with the little girl with the red hair who was her younger sister. She was always there for her. Teaching her everything she knew about life, love and so on. There wasn’t a single day when she didn’t at least spend an hour playing with Rhea. It was even a lot more, most of the time.

And then there was her father. During the week he was in San Francisco. At the weekends he was at home, spending as much time with his family as possible.

~~  
One day Elisabeth was bored after painting the whole day long and playing with Rhea. She was four or five at that time. She decided to explore the house a bit, searching for something interesting to do.

She found a huge chest in her parent’s bedroom which was open fortunately. She started to look through its contents. There were some images she gazed at for a while but the rest wasn’t really very interesting. So she abandoned the treasure and went on searching.

Finally she reached her father’s study, entered it and looked around the huge room with its dark furniture. She went to the gigantic desk not at all able to look over the edge. She climbed onto the chair, almost vanishing in the huge, soft cushions. She tried to imitate her father. She took the oversized glasses and placed them on her nose. The PADD lying there had to serve her purpose. She typed furiously with her tongue sticking out between her thin lips in concentration.

The picture must have been for the heavens because the next thing she knew was the loud, whole-hearted laughter of her father filling the room. He entered without her noticing it.

She looked at him anxiously because she knew he didn’t like it when she did something like that. But he only walked to the desk still laughing and grabbed her around the waist after placing the glasses back on the table.

“Oh Sweetie,” he roared in total amusement. He tickled her and she joined in with her own childish laughter which obviously delighted him.

He whirled her around. She screamed whole-heartedly and she was totally exhausted when he sat down in the chair. Elisabeth was on his lap and both of them caught their breaths.

She loved moments like this which were often because her father was stern but he knew when and how to have fun.  
~~

Her childhood was very happy, shared with Rhea adoring her older sister. Rhea searched her advice whenever she needed it until Elisabeth left for University.

Elisabeth was 19 when she went to Bloomington, Indiana to study Pedagogy and become a teacher. She always dreamed of it because she adored the people who were able to pass their knowledge to small children. She always wanted to fill the minds of innocent children with knowledge, new ideas and make them enjoy their time at school. She herself liked learning because of great teachers who were there for her and her fellow students with all their heart.

~~  
Elisabeth put her bag down in the hall and called for her family. Her mother was in the kitchen as it was a holiday and Rhea joined them shortly after her arrival. She felt almost immediately that Rhea kept her distance. She avoided hugs she liked a few months ago immensely and she began to tease Elisabeth with every little detail she could gather from her older sister.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Elisabeth asked when they were sitting in the living room alone later that evening.

“Nothing’s wrong, big sis,” Rhea tried to deny sipping from her tea.

“Ok, so it’s my imagination that you try to distance yourself from me? Baby sis, I told you that I have to do this. You wouldn’t want me if I didn’t do this. I’d go crazy and I would totally annoy you until you’d beg me to leave. You wouldn’t want that, Rhea,” Elisabeth predicted.

“I would never beg you to leave, you know that,” her younger sister at the age of 16 mumbled. “I miss you, Elisabeth.”

“But I am still there for you,” Elisabeth argued, watching Rhea with eagle-eyes.

“But not here anymore,” Rhea disagreed.

“Do I have to be here in person to be there for you?”

Rhea looked up after avoiding Elisabeth’s gaze the whole time. Her gray eyes roamed the face opposite her and she lowered them again. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. You have to understand this. You don’t understand it right now but I hope one day you will,” Elisabeth added before Rhea could say anything.

“I hope so, too.” Rhea got up. “Good night, big sis.”

That was their last real conversation without any teasing on Rhea’s part. Elisabeth missed the closeness to her sister during the following years immensely.  
~~

Elisabeth graduated with very good marks. She made her Bachelor in Pedagogy but during the years she realized that she wasn’t in it with all her heart anymore. She wasn’t able to pinpoint exactly what changed and when it happened. When she was finished at the University after six years she was sure that she wanted to do something else.

It was a huge coincidence that she heard her father talk about careers with Starfleet during a conversation with another Admiral. She started to collect information. In the end she decided to go to Starfleet Academy and become a Counselor. She wanted to travel through space and help people with their problems. She thought about her decision long and hard. She debated with herself if it was really what she wanted. She talked to some of her former fellow students who told her that she should try it. So she did.

After six years of learning, having fun and some flings at the university, Elisabeth met the love of her life in the form of Alicia Schmidt. She knew it as soon as she saw her sitting on the bench. The precious gift of her virginity confirmed her feeling of belonging to only this young woman.

Elisabeth could see the desire in Alicia’s eyes and on her face during the past weeks. Some bad thoughts started to nag at the back of her mind. Alicia was 42, at the height of her sexual appetite and Elisabeth wasn’t sure if she could hold up with that hunger. She was 53 already after all and the years left their marks on her body as well as her soul and libido. She was uncertain whether she was able to fulfill Alicia’s wishes and satisfy her needs properly.

The age difference was never an issue between them 20 years ago. They accepted that they loved each other and it didn’t matter how old they were. Elisabeth became insecure again though she really tried not to be.

“Lilly, there’s a call for you!” Christine’s voice sounded from the communications room. Elisabeth frowned while walking there as she didn’t expect any call.

On the other hand she was happy to hear her pet name again after all those years. A smile played about her face when she entered the room.

As soon as Elisabeth saw Alicia’s face on the screen she sank down on the chair. The smile brightened and the younger woman realized immediately that something was bothering her fiancée despite the distracting smile.

“Hi,” Elisabeth greeted Alicia.

That was a very good sign that something was wrong because Elisabeth didn’t use her pet name.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Alicia asked without delay.

“Damn, how does she do this?!” Elisabeth wondered silently. “You know me too well,” Elisabeth mumbled good-naturedly.

“I love you. You’re like an open book for me,” Alicia said winking. “So, what’s up?”

Elisabeth knew that she had to tell Alicia what was disturbing her. She wanted their life to be harmonic after all and if she expected Alicia to trust her as she trusted her fiancée. They had to be open about everything, both of them.

“The old thing… my age,” Elisabeth just said and watched Alicia.

Alicia had some kind of hunch what this was about but she wasn’t really sure. “What exactly?”

“Women at the age of 40 are at the height of their sexuality. YOU are at the height of your sexuality… I am not sure if I am able to keep up with you in that respect,” Elisabeth said quietly holding Alicia’s gaze.

“Yes, I want you. I want to make love to you, feel you again. Don’t you feel the same way?” Alicia asked uncertainly.

Elisabeth put her chin into her hand after resting her elbow on the surface of the table where the terminal was positioned. She looked at Alicia intently. She was wearing a red top matching the color of her full lips with a lovely smile quirking them upwards. She loved to lick and kiss the cleft chin for hours on end. She enjoyed looking at the high cheekbones with the smooth skin, the pointed nose, the eyes sparkling from obvious desire upon her own words. The crow’s-feet around the eyes from smiling and laughing were very pronounced. The high forehead was smooth. The shoulder length blond hair framing the beautiful face fell in soft waves. Alicia looked back at her inquiringly.

Elisabeth closed her eyes, listening to what she felt deep inside. When she opened them again, Alicia gasped upon seeing them dark blue almost black. They signaled a desire she knew all too well. Elisabeth was hot and forgot her insecurities. At that moment Elisabeth knew that her hunger was as intense as Alicia’s, matching her in every single aspect.

“Ally, I want you so much,” Elisabeth whispered hoarsely. If Alicia had been in the same room with her right now, she would have devoured her; feasted on her mind, body and soul.

Alicia’s breathing became ragged. She was amazed how such simple words in this wonderfully husky voice could turn her on so easily. “Two days… goodness, I can hardly wait any longer,” Alicia rasped.

“We won’t have a wedding unless we finish our vows… so I suggest we better get going,” Elisabeth said. She tried to squash her desire for the time being though she was in awe of how a simple conversation with Alicia could make her feel so much. Could make her forget all her doubts.

“You’re right,” Alicia croaked, clearing her throat. “I love you so much, Elly.”

“I also love you, Ally,” Elisabeth whispered. “I will contact you tomorrow evening if you like.”

“2000?” Alicia agreed instantly. “And use the PADD, sweet Elly.” The look Alicia had on her face was definitely seductive. Elisabeth swallowed convulsively.

“Talk to you tomorrow, sunshine,” Elisabeth whispered. She pinned Alicia with a feral look of her own before ending the conversation.

The anticipation in both women reached new unknown heights.


	31. March 29, 2438, Time: 18:04:45, SD 115240.42

Alicia sat down at the kitchen table after a day filled with last preparations. She tried on the dress. She even had the time and inspiration to finally write down her vow to her full satisfaction. She smiled contentedly at her mother placing a plate of salad with turkey in front of her daughter.

Kerstin had never seen her daughter in such a state before. Alicia radiated with happiness. This made her seem calm but at the same time there was some kind of restlessness rubbing off on Alicia. She was able to remember this diversion from her own wedding some 45 years ago.

Alicia’s eyes were sparkling from an inner light. Her face shone from the bright smile. Her golden hair looked like a halo though there was no real light to make them shine that way. She was fidgeting the whole time. She pushed the food around on her plate. She wasn’t able to eat because of the nervousness which had begun to take possession of her.

“Mom, am I doing the right thing?” Alicia asked, not looking at her mother while poking at her food.

“It’s not up to me to answer this question. You have to decide whether it is right or wrong. But there is something I can say or let me put it this way… there’s one question I will ask you. If the answer to it is yes then I’d say you are doing the right thing,” Kerstin explained, searching for eye contact with her daughter.

Alicia lifted her gaze. She pinned her mother with a quizzical look and waited for the question.

Kerstin knew her daughter. It was obvious to her that she loved Elisabeth with all her heart. That the older woman was exactly what Alicia needed, wanted and had always looked for. There was no single doubt in her that Alicia and Elisabeth belonged to each other. She never saw a couple which complimented each other like they did. Completed the other person in a way she hadn’t thought possible. But the happiness, love and belonging in her daughter was plain to see, at least for Kerstin. 

She smiled slightly before asking the question, “Does your heart tell you that you are doing the right thing?”

Alicia put her fork down. She folded her hands on the table in front of her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She remembered her last conversation with Elisabeth the day before.

As soon as she saw Elisabeth’s face on the screen, an unbelievable calmness had settled inside of her. At the same time butterflies had taken flight in her stomach, making breathing nearly impossible until Elisabeth said something. She realized that something was bothering Elisabeth. The conversation was important and the butterflies had vanished upon the doubts in her fiancée. They returned with a vengeance as soon as the seriousness was banished. The look of pure, unadulterated desire on Elisabeth’s classic features made her gulp for air. It wasn’t just the obvious desire, but the love, trust and feeling of belonging she saw in Elisabeth. That was what made her react so strongly.

Kerstin watched the emotions on her daughter’s beautiful face. The frown marring her forehead disappeared with every passing second. A wonderful, loving smile replaced the doubtful look which made Kerstin smile in return.

“Yes,” Alicia whispered confidently. She opened her eyes again and gazed at her mother.

Something occurred to her and she had to ask.

“The day I went dancing for the first time… you realized then that I was already interested in women, right?”

Kerstin smiled, remembering that special day fondly. Alicia inherited her beauty and the outfit she chose as well as her vibrancy made her look like a totally different person. The girl in the casual clothes with the thick glasses was boring. It made her proud seeing her daughter develop into such a confident young woman. She was afraid that she would get hurt because the guys would only see her beauty and not the fragile being within. When she heard Alicia speak about men so distastefully she knew that her daughter was up for a wonderful ride as soon as she would find the right woman. And exactly this woman would be Alicia’s wife in less than 17 hours.

“Yes. I am happy that Elisabeth helped you become an even more sensual woman than you’d already been without much of your own doing. You are both very blessed to have found each other. Now that you’ve made your decision I can tell you…yes, it is right for you to marry Elisabeth. She is your soul mate. Your other half completing you like no one else can. The love of your life,” Kerstin said quietly. “I love you, honey.”

Alicia listened to her mother’s words. Tears welled up in her eyes upon hearing these wonderful things. She always detected love and support in her parents. She got up and put her arms around her mother from behind. She hugged her lovingly and let free rein to her tears now.

“I love you, too, Mommy.” She kissed Kerstin on the cheek. It took some time before she calmed down again.

Alicia was able to eat again, enjoying the salad and turkey. There was no need to talk anymore. Christian joined them before they were finished. He affirmed his wife’s opinion when Kerstin asked him about the wedding.

When they were finished, they kept company with Christian until he had eaten. Alicia helped her mother with the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. She grabbed the PADD on her way to the living room which made Kerstin smile.

They talked quietly sipping hot beverages despite the warmth outside. Suddenly Alicia’s PADD signaled an incoming transmission.

Alicia was a nervous wreck again as soon as she saw Elisabeth’s face on the screen. She asked her to wait for a second as she wanted to say goodnight to her parents.

They were sitting on the couch. Kerstin leaned against Christian with her back again. Alicia hugged them simultaneously, giving each of them a kiss on the cheek. She told them that she loved them and they wished her fun. Then she retreated to her bedroom for her last night as a bachelorette.

Kerstin and Christian watched her leave and sighed deeply, contentedly.

“I am all yours now and for the rest of our lives,” Alicia said on her way up the stairs. It made Elisabeth laugh whole-heartedly.

“So am I,” Elisabeth agreed when she calmed down again.

Alicia arrived in her room. “Where are you?” Alicia wanted to know.

She flopped down on her bed which was the same from over 20 years ago when she left for the Academy.

Alicia stripped off her shoes and got comfortable on her stomach. Her head pointed to the foot of the bed. She rested the PADD there and unbuttoned her light blue blouse a bit. She didn’t take her eyes off of Elisabeth.

Elisabeth watched this action mesmerized. She couldn’t take her eyes off the elegant hand. The smooth white skin which was revealed that way was irresistible. With an effort she tore her gaze off her fiancée’s cleavage. She looked into the bright eyes instead and saw the mischief in them.

“In the comm room,” Elisabeth finally answered hoarsely when she was able to speak again, swallowing hard.

“Is there any chance to transfer our conversation to a nearby PADD? So that you’re able to get comfortable in your bedroom?” Alicia asked, trying to sound innocent.

Elisabeth grinned, lifting an eyebrow inquisitively. “Why would I want to do that?”

“I intend to spend the next couple hours with you. But if you prefer to sit on an uncomfortable chair in a room where anybody can walk in on you…” Alicia flipped onto her back, stretching her long limbs and moaned quietly. “It’s your choice.”

Elisabeth watched this with wide eyes. She got a good view of Alicia’s white bra underneath when her fiancée arched her back.

“Couple of hours…,” Elisabeth rasped. “Goodness, Ally. Stop this or I will beam to you instantly and…”

“And…?” Alicia asked, turning onto her stomach at once. She grinned at Elisabeth.

Alicia loved the effect she had on her fiancée. It was obvious in the dark blue of her eyes and her ragged breathing.

“And make love to you the whole night long…”

“Promises, promises,” Alicia trilled. She rested the weight of her upper body on her elbows and forearms while she traced her initials in the lower right corner of her PADD. She gave Elisabeth an even better view of her cleavage.

“I love you,” Elisabeth croaked before the screen went black.

Alicia was still chuckling when Elisabeth’s face reappeared. She was obviously walking down the corridor to the stairs to get to her bedroom in her parent’s house. “I love you, too.”

Alicia gazed at Elisabeth who was wearing a white blouse, the top buttons open. The lovely face shone from desire and Alicia rested her head on her hands. She watched Elisabeth reach her bedroom calmly.

Elisabeth sank back against the closed door. She breathed heavily from her sprint and looked at Alicia’s calm face on the screen of the PADD reproachfully.

“Sunshine, you’re driving me crazy,” Elisabeth gasped.

Alicia laughed whole-heartedly which made Elisabeth smile brightly. She walked to her bed when she was breathing evenly again. She lay back on the sheets, holding the PADD in the air above herself. She watched her fiancée calm down again very slowly.

“Oh, I love the way I am able to wind you round my little finger.” Alicia was grinning broadly, enjoying the way Elisabeth’s auburn hair framed her head on the white sheets.

“And I love the way I can affect you,” Elisabeth said in her lowest register. She watched Alicia shudder and close her eyes from pleasure upon hearing this wonderfully husky voice.

“I feel like the first time you made love to me, Elly,” Alicia whispered. She opened her eyes again and pinned Elisabeth with a hungry gaze.

“You feel so good, my love. Your skin is so smooth… can you feel my fingertips trace the hem of your blouse down your cleavage?” Elisabeth asked.

Alicia threw her head back, the image popping into her mind. The feelings accompanying it turned her on.

“Yes,” Alicia moaned quietly.

Alicia tried to form a coherent thought and realized what they were about to do.

“Do you think this is a good idea?”

“What do you mean?” Elisabeth lifted her eyebrow again.

“What we’re doing here.”

“What exactly ARE we doing?” Elisabeth grinned broadly when Alicia lifted an eyebrow of her own.

“You’re trying to seduce me over a comm-channel. If we go on I sure as hell will begin to pleasure myself imagining it is you though we wanted to celibate until the wedding night.”

“Ally… goodness… yes, do it,” Elisabeth rasped incoherently. Alicia’s words aroused her  
to no end.

“I wish you were here,” Alicia whispered. She looked deeply into the eyes of her fiancée which were full of love and desire for her.

“Less than 24 hours and we will be in each others arms, sunshine,” Elisabeth reminded her, yearning for Alicia’s embrace.

“I think we shouldn’t do this,” Alicia stated reluctantly.

“You are right, sunshine.” Elisabeth sighed. “But I don’t want to end our conversation yet.”

Alicia gazed at her with a dark look on her face. “I want to talk to you, too. I’m sure I would pace the whole house right about now if I wouldn’t be with you now. I’d drive my parents crazy with my restlessness.”

Elisabeth had to laugh, the image was just funny. “Poor Kerstin and Christian. I hope they appreciate that I am distracting you.”

“I’m sure they do. So, how do you intend to distract me?” Alicia asked in mock innocence.

“Alicia Schmidt, stop it! If you want to keep me from seducing you here and now… not making you pleasure yourself… you have to stop with these hints and don’t use that voice.” Elisabeth was exasperated.

“Voice? What voice?” Alicia’s interest was piqued. She mirrored Elisabeth’s position, turning on her back and taking the PADD with her.

“You know exactly which voice I mean.” Alicia lifted a skeptical eyebrow at Elisabeth’s remark. “This low, seductive purr of yours which makes my insides boil,” Elisabeth accused.

“I am so very sorry,” Alicia said, sounding not at all apologetic. Instead she grinned broadly.

“Ok, so let’s play dirty,” Elisabeth suggested in her lowest, most husky tones. She watched Alicia shudder and close her eyes involuntarily with satisfaction.

Alicia tore her eyes open again almost instantly. She realized that her free hand started to undo more buttons on her blouse on their own volition and where they were headed.

“Anything wrong?” Elisabeth asked innocently.

“I think we should end this conversation. You’re driving me insane. My hand has got a mind of its own and it’s all your fault.” Alicia sat up on the bed putting the PADD down in front of her.

“I am not the only one responsible here. It takes two for this but if you see no other option. I wish you a wonderful night, my sunshine,” Elisabeth said knowing that Alicia wouldn’t really want to end the conversation.

“Elly, don’t do this to me. I will die if you stop talking to me now. I am hardly able to think straight. I can only think about you.” Alicia looked at Elisabeth pleadingly. “Stay with me, please.”

Elisabeth watched Alicia with seriousness now. She detected her uncertainty and made a decision Alicia would hopefully agree to.

“I want to talk to you, too. May I suggest something?”

“Shoot.”

“How about we let this conversation progress naturally. It’s no use steering it in a predetermined direction or avoid special topics. Let’s see where it leads and if we don’t like it we are still able to end it or talk about something else. And by your suggestion I get comfortable you indicated that you wanted this evening…”

“I wanted this evening to be special. I wanted to spend it with you. Though we can’t be together physically I want to at least talk to you. I want to see you… hear your lovely voice and… Pleasuring oneself isn’t like making love, right?” Alicia looked vulnerable but the trust she had in Elisabeth was obvious in her sparkling eyes.

Elisabeth nodded her face still serious and she watched her fiancée lovingly. The love for the younger woman filled every single place in her body, mind, heart and soul. She could burst from happiness at this moment, knowing that Alicia loved her like she loved Alicia.

“I love you, Ally,” Elisabeth whispered with tears of joy in her eyes.

“I love you, too, Elly,” Alicia answered quietly. Both of them took some deep breaths as they were overwhelmed by their feelings.

They just gazed at each other for some time, memorizing each other even more than they already had.

“How was your day, sunshine?” Elisabeth asked after a while of companionable silence still lying on her back on her bed.

“Eventful. I was able to formulate a vow and I tried the dress a final time. We will arrive at Kokomo tomorrow at exactly 1030 hours. We rented the shuttle from a friend of Christian who owns a service. One of his pilots will navigate it,” Alicia told Elisabeth, listening intently to the younger woman.

“I can hardly wait to see you in that dress,” Elisabeth said dreamily imagining Alicia in a wonderful white gown.

“Me neither,” Alicia confirmed though she was a bit skeptical that Elisabeth would wear a dress.

Elisabeth didn’t say anything but winked smiling slightly.

“Do you have the vow?” Alicia asked changing the subject. She knew that Elisabeth wouldn’t say what she would wear.

“I wouldn’t be lying here if I wasn’t ready… not that calmly anyway,” Elisabeth said and Alicia had to chuckle.

Alicia loved the way, Elisabeth treated her, had treated her from the beginning. Not at one single occasion from the first day they talked on the bench did she feel like Elisabeth thought of her as an inexperienced, young cadet. She was always viewed as an equal. Elisabeth searched for her advice whenever she wasn’t sure of something. This more than anything else intrigued her with Elisabeth. Alicia sighed contentedly and smiled lovingly at Elisabeth.

“Everything’s set here. The marquee is pitched. The food will be prepared tomorrow morning. The chairs and aisle as well as the platform are ready for the celebration. It looks great. Christine’s hardly able to stop adoring every little detail.” Elisabeth chuckled huskily which made Alicia shudder again. This time she didn’t try to stop or quell the reaction.

“It’s amazing what my voice does to you,” Elisabeth husked, smiling knowingly.

“Yes, it is,” Alicia confirmed. She rested the PADD against the pillows now. She laid back down on her stomach, head in her hands and smiled brightly.

Elisabeth mirrored Alicia’s actions. She got comfortable on her stomach but instead of putting her head in her hands she began to unbutton her blouse deliberately. She gave Alicia a good view of the red bra she was wearing underneath.

Alicia’s eyes nearly bulged out upon seeing the tantalizing garment. Elisabeth just grinned crookedly.

“I want to finally feel your hot skin against mine again. Your scent was so damn intoxicating every time we slept in the same bed. Ally, you make me so hot,” Elisabeth moaned, pinning Alicia with a seductive gaze. Her eyes sparkled from desire.

Alicia shuddered helplessly. Her hands slipped out from under her chin and she sank onto the bed. She breathed raggedly from the husky voice and the arousing words. She took some deep breaths before lifting her head again. The fire of desire burned in her body. Her sky blue eyes pierced Elisabeth’s dark ones.

Alicia made sure that she had Elisabeth’s full attention. She traced the hem of her blouse with her hands. Elisabeth’s desire-filled eyes followed her every movement. She opened all the buttons, stripped the top off and threw it in the general direction of the chair. She gasped when she saw the feral look on Elisabeth’s face upon turning around again.

Elisabeth had a wonderful view of Alicia’s full breasts when she rested the weight of her upper body on her forearms again. The golden hair framed her fair features and the full lips quirked into a seductive smile.

“Like what you see?” Alicia asked. She knew what Elisabeth thought about her bountiful breasts. How much she always loved to touch them, kiss them, suckle on the dark pink nipples. She even made Alicia come on several occasions that way.

“I don’t have to answer that question as you already know the answer,” Elisabeth replied huskily. “Goodness, I like to fondle your breasts. Lick the hard nipples; circle one of them with my wet tongue very slowly.”

Elisabeth watched Alicia unclasp the bra in the front between her breasts. She freed them from their prison and threw the next garment in the general direction of her blouse before turning onto her back. Her full breasts slid to the sides due to the gravitation. Alicia began to slowly circle her nipples with the tips of her forefingers. She closed her eyes in pleasure and knew that it turned Elisabeth on to no end. It was obvious in her low voice.

“I take it between my teeth. Bite down on it carefully as you like it at the beginning.” Alicia rolled the hard nubs between thumb and forefinger. She moaned quietly from the arousing feeling. The husky voice of her fiancée helped her imagination and Elisabeth did exactly what she was describing. “I become more forceful with every passing minute until I chew your nipple mercilessly. The way you like it most.” Alicia pinched her nipples forcefully now. She moaned loudly, writhing on the bed and felt the moisture gather between her legs.

Elisabeth began to moan quietly herself from the arousing picture of Alicia, pleasuring herself in front of her. She felt herself dripping, yearning to touch Alicia like she was touching herself right now.

“Talk to me,” Alicia moaned when Elisabeth was quiet for a few moments just watching.

“I switch to the other nipple, giving it the same loving attention,” Elisabeth husked as Alicia kneaded her breasts now. She didn’t hold back and moaned unrestrainedly. “Oh yes, Ally. That feels so good. You are so hot. Come for me, my love,” Elisabeth almost begged hoarsely. She watched Alicia’s hips buck, listening to her loud moans until she moaned Elisabeth’s name a final time. Alicia stopped her ministrations and sank back onto the bed breathing heavily. “Ally, that was so good. Oh, I love your passion. I love to hear you come. You’re so beautiful.”

Alicia calmed down very slowly. She was amazed at how Elisabeth’s words could turn her on so easily. What her voice did to her body and mind. She flipped onto her stomach again, greeting her fiancée with a seductive smile. It was returned in equal measure.

“I love the way you make me feel so much with just your words and voice,” Alicia rasped. She couldn’t take her hands off her breasts, cupping them lovingly. She held Elisabeth’s gaze full of desire.

Elisabeth chuckled huskily. She was aroused from just gazing at Alicia looking incredibly sensual with the shining face, sparkling eyes and the hands squeezing the full mounds carefully.

Alicia gazed back expectantly. Her eyes roamed to the red bra and the urge to see Elisabeth naked now was overwhelmingly strong.

“My fingers unbutton your blouse the rest of the way,” Alicia purred deliberately. She watched Elisabeth follow her loving order with slow elegant hands. “I slip the garment from your shoulders discarding it somewhere before I open your bra. I slide it off of you as well.”

Elisabeth unclasped the restraints to her bosom. It wasn’t as full as Alicia’s but that never bothered her young lover as she sometimes spent hours feasting on Elisabeth’s breasts. Alicia devoured her with an unbelievable hunger and Elisabeth groaned quietly.

“Next I help you get rid of your trousers and panties.” Alicia rasped. She was totally aroused from looking at Elisabeth’s body, into her eyes and her own recent orgasm.

Elisabeth pinned Alicia with a fierce gaze before turning onto her back. Her slippers lay discarded at the foot of the bed. It made Alicia chuckle slightly but she stopped as soon as she saw Elisabeth’s hands slip underneath the waistband of her white trousers. She slipped them off her hips together with her red panties. Alicia had to moan as soon as she laid eyes on the patch of dark auburn curls at the apex of Elisabeth’s thighs. Elisabeth lifted her hips to get rid of the rest of her garments and threw them somewhere at the foot of the bed with one of her feet.

Alicia never realized how much the display of such a small PADD could show. She had a wonderful view of Elisabeth’s body when she was lying back down again at exactly the right angle. She could see the wonderful round breasts, the still flat stomach, the well-toned legs and small feet. Elisabeth turned her head and gazed at Alicia with eyes full of anticipation.

“Before we do anything else… I will strip your trousers and panties off as well,” Elisabeth husked. She grinned broadly and flipped back over on her stomach. She didn’t want to miss a single movement from Alicia. “Wait a minute. Isn’t there a bigger screen somewhere in my room?”

Obviously the PADD wasn’t enough for Elisabeth. Alicia had to laugh whole-heartedly when an idea struck her. “The TV screens.”

“Why didn’t I think of this earlier?” Elisabeth asked also laughing throatily. “Ally, I love you for your bright mind.”

After some shuffling and carrying and adjusting they were both sitting at the foot of their beds again. The big screens of their televisions rested there. Alicia’s eyes roamed the naked form of her fiancée sitting there cross-legged.

“You are beautiful,” Alicia whispered locking gazes with Elisabeth. She looked back expectantly. “Oh, right.” Alicia remembered that Elisabeth wanted her to become naked.

Elisabeth loved the way Alicia was kneeling on the bed. Her lower half was clad in blue jeans, her upper body naked. The full breasts defied gravity and the dark pink nipples were still pebbled from Alicia’s earlier ministrations.

Alicia enjoyed Elisabeth’s adoring gaze. It felt like her eyes electrified every single millimeter of her skin. She started to tremble under the hot scrutiny unable to move for some time. She just gazed back at her soon-to-be wife with loving eyes.

Elisabeth waited patiently. She didn’t want to rush Alicia in any way. She roamed the shuddering body with hungry but loving eyes. She began to stroke herself, her hands sliding over her flat stomach. But she avoided any sensitive part for the time being.

Alicia watched the elegant hands. Her own began to undo the buttons on the jeans now. She lifted herself up a bit, sliding the jeans as well as the panties down her legs to her knees. She sat down on her backside to strip them all the way off. She was finally sitting there with legs spread apart knees slightly bent. Her weight rested on her hands with arms stretched out at her back. Her hair was thrown back over her shoulders.

Elisabeth had to moan upon this display of pure eroticism. She felt herself drip, not able to take her eyes off the patch of golden curls between Alicia’s legs. She would love to touch it right now.

“My hands roam your body,” Elisabeth husked.

Alicia leaned forward, doing what Elisabeth ordered her to do. She obeyed without any hesitation.

“Is this how we’re supposed to spend this evening?” Alicia suddenly asked. She didn’t stop. Her hands stroked her breasts slowly, squeezing slightly. She watched Elisabeth watch herself.

“Would you prefer being in a nightclub dancing or watching a strip show of some unknown women?” Elisabeth asked huskily. Her hands touched her breasts now, too, pinching the nipples between thumb and forefinger.

Dancing was very appealing. Another woman dancing in front of her naked wouldn’t turn her on as much as looking at Elisabeth at this moment did. She honestly didn’t want anyone but Elisabeth do it anyway. Elisabeth wasn’t dancing exactly but stroking down her body with one hand.

“No,” Alicia moaned. She followed the digits with her eyes as they reached the auburn patch and wet folds underneath. “No, I don’t want to watch anyone but you. Elly, you are so hot.”

“Yes, I am,” Elisabeth confirmed throatily. “And you?” Elisabeth stroked her wet folds. She wished it was Alicia’s hand doing it. She locked eyes with Alicia.

Elisabeth mirrored Alicia’s position again. She unfolded her legs, spread them apart with knees bent slightly and rested her weight on her free left hand behind her back.

They looked at each other lovingly. Elisabeth noticed Alicia’s right hand glide down her body, touching her own sex probingly. Both of them moaned quietly.

“Totally hot,” Alicia rasped.

They spent the next few hours, pleasuring themselves while watching it with hungry eyes. They told each other this way and with whispered words how much they loved the other woman. They ended the conversation totally exhausted and falling asleep almost instantly afterward. The nervousness both of them had felt for the past few days was gone, replaced by nothing but love.


	32. March 30, 2438, Time: 10:27:37, SD 115242.29

It was a wonderful spring morning. Huge fields of green grass and wildflowers spread across the hills and valleys of the landscape, as far as the eye could reach. The sky was blue without any clouds; birds were flying across it, singing and enjoying the fresh breeze. The air smelled of spring flowers, the warmth of the sun and grass.

The promise of a beautiful day was palpable.

A dark spot appeared at the eastern horizon, growing bigger until the outlines of a shuttle became visible. Coming closer with every passing second, it was almost close enough to see every little detail like the pilot in the cockpit when suddenly, the starboard nacelle exploded.

The shuttle seemed to hang in the air for some seconds before it began to lose height and crashed into the ground behind a hill. As soon as it was down, a second explosion could be heard and fire burst into the sky, scattering birds from their resting places. The silence afterward was deafening and black smoke billowed through the sky from the spot where the shuttlecraft had crashed. 

The auburn-haired woman stood frozen to the spot, unable to move, think, feel, do anything. She was unable to believe what she had just witnessed with her own eyes. She was shocked like never before. She watched the black smoke rise in circles into the now quiet air. It signaled something for her that she was not able to comprehend at that moment.

Nothing moved for what seemed an eternity. In truth, only seconds elapsed before howls of unbelievable pain and loss could be heard from the crowd around her. Disbelieving screams rang out and everything seemed to move in slow motion.

Without warning, tears began to stream down her face. She felt strong arms encircle her before she collapsed onto the ground, losing consciousness from the sheer impossibility of the events. A strangled, agonized “no” escaped her lips before everything around her went black.


	33. March 30, 2438, Time: 15:32:28, SD 115242.87

Elisabeth woke with a start, jolting into a sitting position. She looked around in confusion. She wasn’t in her bed as she had expected. Instead she was lying on the couch in the living room of her parent’s house. She rubbed her face with one hand and realized that she must have been crying. Her throat was sore, her eyes burned and her nose was blocked.

With a vengeance the morning’s events came crashing down on her. She sank back into the cushions, feeling lost like never before in her life, alone and broken.

She lost the love of her life a second time. Only this time nothing would bring them back together. Death was final, it couldn’t be reversed.

She closed her eyes in final defeat, now able to cry because of her loss as she hadn’t been able to do all those years ago. She hadn’t wanted to sink into self-pity. It was her own fault after all at that time but now… this time she couldn’t have done anything to prevent this terrible accident from happening.

The picture of the shuttle falling from the sky and the explosion shortly after it hit the ground was burned into her brain forever. It replayed in her mind over and over again. She cried helplessly, letting free rein to her tears of loss, pain and a broken heart that could never be mended again. It died with Alicia Schmidt on a field near Kokomo, Indiana this morning. She didn’t want to live any longer. There was no use in going on without the love of her life by her side.

She didn’t know how long she lay there. She cried out her eyes, soul and heart when suddenly there was a strong hand on her shoulder.

“How long are you awake, Sweetie?” she heard her father ask softly. “We didn’t want you to be alone but we thought you would sleep for another while.”

Elisabeth wasn’t able to say anything. She cried unrestrainedly. She made herself as small as possible by wrapping her arms around her bent legs. Her thighs were pressed against her stomach. She didn’t want to do, hear, feel, say anything. She just wanted to die right here and now and be with Alicia again.

William was helpless. He didn’t know what to do or say. He was the only one left as the rest of the family and friends were in the hospital.

“I wish your mother would be here, but she is at the hospital,” William whispered, stroking his daughter’s shoulder.

“Hospital?” a voice in Elisabeth’s head screamed though she didn’t really know why this information was so important.

“I shall take you there as soon as you wake up. So I think, we should get going.” William tried to turn Elisabeth around with gentle insistence. “Alicia needs you now.”

“Alicia needs me?! Alicia isn’t dead?! Oh my goodness, Alicia is alive!” the voice screamed. She cried even more, unable to wrap her muddled brain around these incredible news.

“How are Kerstin and Christian?” Elisabeth whispered hoarsely. It was almost inaudible because of the tears coloring her voice sad.

“That’s why you have to be there for Alicia now. She must have watched them burn to death.” William despised that he had to tell her this.

“What?” Elisabeth screamed. She turned around now noticing that her father had changed out of his dress uniform. He was now wearing a black pullover, black trousers and a pair of black shoes. She looked at him in disbelief.

“The rescue team found her trapped in the belt. She sat opposite her parents who had obviously burnt. She was screaming her lungs out in agony,” he told her with the saddest expression on his prominent face she had ever seen him wear. He didn’t take his eyes off his daughter.

“Oh my goodness,” Elisabeth whispered shocked. “Take me to her, please.”

“You should change before we leave,” William pointed out and she agreed with him.

She discarded her white tailcoat and got dressed in casual clothes consisting of a blue jeans, a gray t-shirt and white sport shoes. She splashed some fresh water into her face and joined her father who led her to the hospital of Kokomo.

“Was Alicia also hurt?” she wanted to know before they reached their destination.

Elisabeth was endlessly relieved that she hadn’t lost the love of her life. She wanted to see it… her with her own eyes before she was really able to believe it. If Alicia had really watched her parents die it would take very long until she would have processed these horrible moments.

“Some bruises from the belt, a broken leg and burns to her forearms. She used them to shield her eyes from the fire. But I suppose most of the damage is probably the psychological one,” William explained. The small hand of his daughter rested in his huge paw while he guided her into the hospital.

William got a glimpse of Alicia for a short moment before she was transported to the hospital. The woman he had seen had nothing in common with the woman that he saw a few weeks ago. She had looked fragile, a haunted expression on her face. He hoped Elisabeth would be able to restore her to her former self. He loved the younger woman like his own daughters. It hurt him seeing her in pain. He knew it would also hurt Elisabeth. He didn’t like seeing anyone he loved suffer at all.

He led her to the second floor. They spotted Christine and Rhea sitting on chairs in the corridor almost immediately; Richardson, Angela, Lisa and Thompson were standing in front of them. The doctor was the first to notice them as Christine and Rhea were crying in each others arms. He met with them in front of Alicia’s door.

“Doctor Thompson, how is Alicia?” Elisabeth asked when she was with them.

Christine and Rhea got up as soon as they heard Elisabeth’s husky voice. They wrapped their arms around Elisabeth immediately from both sides. They were shocked from the pain Alicia was in. They weren’t even able to imagine how Alicia must feel right now.

“We had to sedate Alicia slightly. Her body is fine but her mind…” Thompson trailed off and looked at Elisabeth imploringly.

“She doesn’t want to see anybody but you,” Christine whispered. Tears streamed down her tired face. “She hasn’t said anything but your name.”

“I want to see her,” Elisabeth whispered. She tried to free herself from the loving but at the moment annoying embraces.

“Of course,” Rhea said. She took their mother in her arms and smiled at her older sister encouragingly.

Elisabeth gave Rhea a quick kiss on the cheek. She entered the room where Alicia was lying in a bed. It seemed too big for her small body. Alicia looked frail like Elisabeth had never seen her before. Her eyes were closed and swollen with dark circles underneath.

Alicia’s cheeks were hollow and tear stains marked them. Her hair was damp, clinging to her head in thick strands. It was the most wonderful picture Elisabeth had ever seen. Alicia was alive, breathing evenly at the moment. She was wearing a white gown and wrapped in a white blanket. Her hands were folded on her stomach and her breathing was even. Seeing the haunted expression on Alicia’s beautiful face made Elisabeth’s heart ache. She walked up to the bed without making any noise. She sat down on the chair next to Alicia and just looked at her for a while.

Elisabeth was so damn relieved that Alicia was alive. She was lying there in the bed in front of her. She didn’t dare touch Alicia because she was afraid it was still a dream. Elisabeth feared Alicia would wake up if she tried to reach for her.

Suddenly Alicia became agitated. It was obvious she had a nightmare due to the death of her parents. The sedative must have worn off. Her face was distorted from pain, mouth agape in a scream that couldn’t escape. Her arms were flailing, tears began to stream down her cheeks.

In her dream Alicia saw her parents die in front of her eyes, burning in unbelievable agony. She wasn’t able to free herself from the belt. She watched helplessly and screamed her parent’s names over and over again until she was hoarse.

Elisabeth got up immediately. She sat down on the bed, wrapped Alicia in a firm embrace and whispered soothing words into her ear.

“Let it all out, my love. I know that you hurt. It hurts me, too. But I know that your parents were proud of you for everything you’ve achieved. They loved you and I know that they approved of our marriage. I know it will take a long time until you’ll be ready for it. I love you and I will wait as long as you need to heal. Just get well again, my love.”

Alicia clung to the warm body wrapped around her. The familiar voice soothed her frayed nerves, washed over her. The words though she didn’t know what had been said made her feel better instantly.

“Goodness, I thought you were dead. I thought I had lost you again and this time I wouldn’t have been able to make up for it. I am so happy that you are alive but at the same time unbelievably sad that Kerstin and Christian are dead. I wish I could have prevented this accident, avoided you seeing them die in this horrible fashion. I will help you deal with their deaths in any way I can. I love you, Alicia. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. I am there for you. I want you to know this,” Elisabeth went on whispering, her voice tearful, pressing her mouth against Alicia’s ear.

The beloved voice reached into Alicia’s soul. She knew nothing would happen to her, everything would be all right as long as she was with this woman.

Elisabeth held Alicia in her arms now. She waited for her to calm down again and wake up.

Alicia jolted awake abruptly, opening her eyes. The first thing she saw were stormy blue-gray eyes, looking down on her lovingly. Tears streamed down the beloved face and she wrapped her arms around the warm body. She clung to Elisabeth for dear life, cried in pain and whispered her pet name over and over again.

“Sssh, you’re save my love,” Elisabeth whispered soothingly.

Alicia held on tighter, gripping Elisabeth’s t-shirt with strong hands. “Elly, don’t go,” Alicia begged weakly.

“I won’t leave you, sunshine.”

Elisabeth slipped her shoes off. She got comfortable next to Alicia with her arms wrapped around the fragile body. Alicia’s head rested against Elisabeth’s shoulder. Alicia took some deep breaths. She searched for a comfortable position and closed her eyes when she had found it. She clung to Elisabeth again and fell into a deep healing sleep, knowing that she was safe.

Elisabeth felt Alicia gradually relax. Her arms loosened around the older woman but she didn’t let go. The warm beloved body in her arms made her sleepy but before she drifted off the door opened.

Thompson entered the room together with a diminutive, dark-haired woman. She wore a white gown showing them to be a doctor. Alicia’s colleague smiled upon the picture greeting him. He realized at once that Alicia’s face didn’t look so haunted anymore. Relief flooded his strained nerves.

Elisabeth looked up with tired eyes. She greeted Thompson with a nod and locked eyes with the small doctor with the piercing black eyes.

“My name is Doctor Lindsey. You must be Counselor Miller, Miss Schmidt’s fiancée?” Elisabeth nodded. ”I would usually offer another bed but under these circumstances it would only frighten Miss Schmidt further unnecessarily. Her condition is stable as you can see. Your presence seems to calm her. I would like to have Miss Schmidt here for at least a day or two.”

“I understand. I will stay as long as Alicia is here.” Elisabeth felt Alicia snuggle closer again. She smiled lovingly down onto the blond head. “If that’s okay with you, Doctor.”

“Of course it is. You can ask the nurses if you need anything or let them hail me if there’s any problem with Miss Schmidt,” Lindsey offered. Elisabeth nodded in acknowledgment. “Take care, Counselor Miller.”

Thompson smiled at Elisabeth before leaving together with Lindsey. Elisabeth settled back into the cushions again. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep this time pressed against the warm body of the love of her life.

During the following days Alicia slept most of the time, often interrupted by nightmares out of which she woke screaming. She clung to Elisabeth almost painfully with strong hands. It hurt the older woman every time she had to witness the pain in her fiancée.

Gradually Alicia became calmer until in the fourth night there was only a minor interruption. Alicia had to use the bathroom and Elisabeth helped as always. She did it with tenderness like everything else.

The constant presence of Elisabeth though she didn’t consciously realize it helped Alicia through the shock. The calmness Elisabeth exuded was everything she needed. She felt safe despite the nightmares still haunting her.

Christine, William and Rhea hardly left the hospital. Richardson stayed like Angela, Thompson and Lisa until the day after the accident. But they had to return to their duties. They did with mixed feelings, staying in constant contact with the Millers to get news about Alicia’s condition.


	34. April 3, 2438, Time: 10:43:58, SD 115253.28

Alicia opened her eyes and felt like she had slept for weeks. Anxiety crept up in her but the face of her fiancée looking down on her with tender eyes made her calm down instantly again.

“Elly?” Alicia whispered hoarsely. She tightened her arms around Elisabeth which had come loose a bit during sleep.

“I am here, my love. I won’t leave you,” Elisabeth whispered, returning the embrace firmly. “How do you feel, sunshine?”

Alicia closed her eyes again. She took some deep breaths and tears began to stream down her face upon remembering what happened.

“Terrible,” Alicia answered quietly. She felt Elisabeth place a tender kiss on her cheek.

Alicia’s face showed unbelievable pain when Elisabeth looked at her again. The eyes slowly opened and she didn’t press for further elaboration. Elisabeth just waited patiently until Alicia was ready to say anything else.

Alicia took some more deep breaths. Tears were still running down her cheeks and she tried not to close her eyes. She wanted to look at the face of the woman she loved. She knew Elisabeth would help her deal with the pain she felt. Manage to live with the guilt for not being able to help her parents. She wanted to tell Elisabeth everything.

“I couldn’t get the belt off. I can still hear them scream from pain… they were able to tell me that they love me… that they want me to marry you. I had to promise it to them,” Alicia told Elisabeth.

The older woman was stunned to say the least. “It can wait. It’s more important for you to get well again, my love.”

“No, if nothing else, I want to marry you today. Elly, please,” Alicia begged, crashing their bodies together in a fierce embrace. “Please, don’t make me wait. I want to be your wife today.”

“It waited for four days now so it can wait longer.”

Elisabeth wasn’t sure about the situation. She didn’t want Alicia to rush anything, afraid that she would regret it at some point. That was the last thing she wanted. The doubts must have shown on her face while she looked into the eyes still full of pain.

“Elisabeth, listen to me,” Alicia whispered calmly. “I’ve seen how short life can be. How fast it can end. I almost lost you twice. I don’t want to risk losing you again without being married to you. I want us to make our relationship official. I am sad that I lost my parents because I loved them. But I don’t want to lose you, too without being your wife. I love you and I will always do.”

“I love you, too.” Elisabeth placed a tender kiss on the wet cheek.

Elisabeth was still not sure whether this was the best of ideas. She didn’t want Alicia to get more upset than she already was. She wanted to softly free herself.

“What are you doing?” Alicia asked anxiously when she felt Elisabeth withdraw.

“I have to arrange some things,” Elisabeth whispered into Alicia’s ear.

“Please, don’t go,” Alicia begged totally against her usual behavior. She held onto Elisabeth fiercely.

“I won’t leave you. I told you this. Trust me, my love. I will just go to the door and ask Rhea to arrange everything, all right?”

Alicia loosened her grip a little bit. She looked at Elisabeth with wide, frightened eyes which hurt the older woman to no end.

“Promise?” Alicia asked quietly.

Elisabeth had never seen Alicia so frightened so out of her mind and beyond herself. Even as an inexperienced teenager Alicia was strong. She was afraid that Alicia would never be able to lose her fear again. She would have liked to take the pain away but it was impossible. So she had to help Alicia as good as she could. And she would do everything for Alicia to help her, make her feel better, trust in life again and hold her parents in good memory.

“I promise it. Just over there at the door. You are able to see me,” Elisabeth said softly. She pointed at the door to her right which was in good view from the bed.

Alicia’s fear was huge. She knew it was irrational but she couldn’t help it. She tried to squash it but she wasn’t able to do so. With all this fear there was one thing she was sure of: she could trust Elisabeth with her life.

Alicia nodded slightly. The fear was still obvious in her eyes. She loosened her hold further before letting go.

Elisabeth looked at Alicia lovingly. She didn’t take her arms away yet. She wanted to show her that she would even stay if Alicia didn’t hold her back.

Alicia was endlessly relieved when she saw Elisabeth lean in. She placed another tender kiss on her cheek. Alicia took a deep, calming breath. She resisted the strong urge to wrap her arms around Elisabeth again instead folding them in her lap.

“I’m back in a minute, my love,” Elisabeth whispered in a strong voice before sitting up.

Elisabeth looked into the eyes of the love of her life, seeing trust despite the pain and fear. She took both of her hands in hers, placing tender kisses on the back of each before she finally got up. She walked to the door slowly after slipping into her shoes. She opened it as far as it would go, called for Rhea while looking at Alicia the whole time. She whispered something into the ear of her younger sister who smiled brightly, looking at Alicia for a moment.

Alicia watched her fiancée talk to Rhea. She enjoyed the eyes locked on her own. She felt save, just looking at Elisabeth, knowing that she wouldn’t leave her if she wasn’t ready for it. And she knew without a doubt that it would take very long before she was able to feel safe on her own again.

Elisabeth returned to the bed, sitting down at the edge again. She entwined her fingers with Alicia’s, smiling because of the calmness Alicia had shown. She knew that Alicia would have liked to jump out of the bed and follow her to the door.

“Dad will call the doctor. Do you think you are ready to leave the hospital?” Elisabeth wanted to give Alicia the opportunity to make her own decision.

Alicia closed her eyes, listening to her own body which told her that she was physically all right. There was no pain left in her right leg which had broken on impact. The burns were healed as well as the bruises from the belt. The slight concussion from hitting the wall was also gone. The only thing that wasn’t well seemed to be her mind. It told her to be afraid, look out for any dangers and be careful.

“Yes, I am as long as you’re with me,” Alicia whispered, looking at Elisabeth pleadingly now.

The door opened before Elisabeth was able to answer. Both of them turned their heads to greet the diminutive dark-haired woman with a nod. She walked up to them with long strides.

“I am Doctor Lindsey. It’s good to see you up and about again, Miss Schmidt.” the doctor said in a deep voice which didn’t really fit to her stature.

“Thank you, Doctor Lindsey,” Alicia answered meekly.

“What do you think about Miss Schmidt checking out?” Elisabeth asked Lindsey.

“You’ve been here for four nights now. There seems to be nothing out of the ordinary,” Lindsey said after turning to Alicia. “You’re a doctor yourself and you know the risks. I trust your judgment if you say that you are ready. Another matter is the fact that you watched your parents die. Doctor Thompson told me that Counselor Miller will look after you.” Lindsey turned a bit and nodded at Elisabeth in acknowledgment returning the nod slightly.

Lindsey looked at Alicia expectantly. The fear in the fair features was obvious but the wish to leave was just as strong.

“I assure you that I am all right. I trust Counselor Miller. I would like to spend a night in a normal bed again if you know what I mean,” Alicia answered quietly.

“I know. Doctors are the worst patients.” Lindsey smiled slightly. “Ok, so I will get the papers ready. You can replicate some clothes while I'm gone.”

“Thank you, Dr. Lindsey,” Elisabeth said gratefully. The doctor answered with a curt nod and left them to themselves again.

Within half an hour Alicia was dressed, the papers were signed and they were on their way back to the Miller’s residence.


	35. April 3, 2438, Time: 17:28:40, SD 115254.05

Elisabeth was standing in the living room of her parent’s house dressed in a simple white pantsuit. They cleared it of most of the furniture. She faced a man wearing a black tuxedo whose name was Paul Smith. She was nervous to no end. She was surrounded by her loved ones; Christine, Rhea, cousins and friends like Richardson and his daughter, Lisa, Thompson she knew from the Explorer. They were happy for her as well as Alicia despite the horrible events of the previous days. The only person missing was her father acting in the place of Alicia’s own father.

Tears welled up in Elisabeth’s eyes. The whispering that had filled the room suddenly stopped. The heads turned to the door where her father was standing in his dress uniform. Alicia was at his side, her arm entwined with his. She wore a simple white dress, her hair cascading around her shoulders. There was an anxious expression on her lovely face.

Alicia took a deep breath while looking at the familiar faces. They were filled with compassion upon her loss and happiness for her upcoming wedding. She missed her parents dearly and would always do. But she wanted to marry Elisabeth before this day was over. It didn’t matter that they already lost four precious days. She had waited for 20 years for this wonderful woman. Nothing would stop her from becoming Elisabeth’s wife today. Not even the death of her parents could prevent it because they wanted them to become happy.

William was sad for Alicia as he looked down on her fearful face. Her eyes locked to his daughter’s across the room. He felt the firm grip of her elegant hands on his arm. He placed his free hand on hers, squeezing tenderly, encouragingly.

Alicia looked up into the smiling face of Elisabeth’s father. She hoped that he was able to recognize her grateful gaze. They started to walk through the crowd. It was a bit frightening for Alicia but she tried not to let it show.

Elisabeth could see the uneasiness in her fiancée when their eyes met again. Though nobody else would see it she recognized the uncertainty in Alicia’s steps. William offered Alicia’s arm to her. She took it without hesitation, gazing into the beloved face with tears in her eyes.

William stepped next to his wife. He encircled her and his daughter with his arms. Both of them were crying silently while watching the lovely couple.

Alicia took a deep breath looking at her love for a while before they turned their attention to Smith. He would hold the simple marriage ceremony. They signaled him with a nod that they were ready.

Angela was shocked to her core when she watched the shuttle crash to the ground the other day. She believed that Alicia who became a good friend during the last few weeks died. She was very relieved when she learned that she was “only” hurt. The next thing that shocked her was seeing Rhea so devastated. She felt her hands itch with the urge to comfort the red-haired woman.

“We are here today to marry these two women. Alicia Schmidt and Elisabeth Miller. We would all prefer better circumstances for this day but we can’t chose fate. So I will make this ceremony as simple as possible. We are all very happy that these wonderful women finally found each other. We all know that they were meant to be. We are witnesses for the love they feel for each other and because of this love I want to ask the following,” Smith began and the compassion was obvious in his words. “Is there something you want to tell each other before we begin?”

With a nod, Elisabeth told Alicia to begin. They looked at the other woman with loving eyes.

“I thought this would be the happiest day of my life. In a way it is though it is colored with sadness because of my parent’s deaths. But they wanted us to get married and told me so before they died. I had to promise them not letting their deaths interfere with our plans. That’s why we are here now.” Alicia took a deep breath and tried to hold her speech as simple as possible. “I met you over two decades ago. From the first time I’d seen you I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. It wasn’t easy for us but we made it. I am happy that we are here today. I love you, Elisabeth and I will always do.”

Everybody’s head turned when loud sobs escaped from Christine’s throat. William tried to sooth her as well as Rhea. It took some time before she had calmed down again. Alicia and Elisabeth smiled when they looked at each other again.

Elisabeth took Alicia’s hands in hers, taking a deep breath. She looked into the eyes of the love of her life. “I am sad that your parents had to die. I wish I’d be able to turn back the hands of time, give them back to you save and sound. But it is impossible so I will be there for you, support you. I want you to know that you can always count on me, my love. You were 19 when we first met and from the first moment I was sure that you are everything I ever searched for in a partner. There was trouble on the way but after 20 years of pain we found each other again. I am happy to have you. I love you, Alicia and I will always do.”

Another round of sobs took the attention away from the happy couple. Everybody looked at Christine again and Rhea joined her mother with her crying. They were not the only ones, most of the women in the room had tears in their eyes. Even some men. When Christine and Rhea were quiet again, Smith continued quietly.

“May I ask for the rings?”

Lisa stepped forward, her green eyes shining from unshed tears. She handed the simple platinum bands to Smith after a fond smile at Alicia and Elisabeth.

“I ask you to repeat the vow and answer with I do if you agree.” He let the comment sink in before he continued. “True love can’t be denied. So I ask you, Alicia Schmidt.” He waited until Alicia was looking at him and handed her the ring. “Do you want to marry Elisabeth Miller? Share the rest of your life with her? Help her however you can and be there for her through good and bad times?”

Alicia looked at Elisabeth again, tears streaming down their cheeks. Both pairs of blue eyes shining from love. She took a deep breath before answering: “I do want to marry you. Share the rest of my life with you. Help you however I can and be there for you through good and bad times.” With trembling hands she put the ring on Elisabeth’s finger. She looked at her again lovingly when she was done.

This time everybody was crying openly, clinging to their loved ones. Angela couldn’t take it any longer. She stepped next to Rhea and put her arm around the waist of the taller woman. Rhea was thankful for the support. She rested her head against the blonde’s shoulder and cried unrestrained.

“Thank you,” Rhea whispered through her tears.

“I ask you, Elisabeth Miller,” again he waited until Elisabeth was looking at him. He gave her the second ring. “Do you want to marry Alicia Schmidt? Share the rest of your life with her? Help her however you can and be there for her through good and bad times?”

Elisabeth was overwhelmed by her feelings, by the happiness. At the same time an unbelievable sadness came over her. “I do want to marry you. Share the rest of my life with you. Help you however I can and be there for you through good and bad times.” Elisabeth slid the ring onto Alicia’s finger before looking into the eyes of her love again.

Smith waited for a few moments before continuing. He let everybody calm down again. He watched the couple in love, seeing the deep feelings in their gazes. The way they held hands and he smiled.

“With this I am now able to say that you’re married officially. May your love last forever. I wish you happiness for the rest of your lives,” Smith finished. This time he didn’t wait until Alicia and Elisabeth were looking at him.

Elisabeth didn’t want to force Alicia to do anything she didn’t feel comfortable with. So she instructed Smith to restrain from saying something like “you may kiss the bride”. She got on her tiptoes now to wrap her arms around her wife. Both of them were crying unrestrainedly when they were hugging each other.

To Elisabeth’s utter delight Alicia loosened the embrace. She placed a tender kiss first at Elisabeth’s ear, then on her cheek. Alicia finally captured her lips in a light, tender kiss. They both enjoyed it for some wonderful moments. The whole crowd howled upon seeing this.

Christine knew that Alicia was on the way to heal when she saw her kiss Elisabeth. It would probably still take a very long time before Alicia was her old self. Elisabeth would help her and be there for her. She was able to see the delight on her daughter’s features. She knew that Elisabeth had told Smith not to ask for a kiss. That Alicia had initiated one was an obvious relief for Elisabeth.

Christine was very sad that Kerstin and Christian had to die. They were very good friends. She herself would help Alicia as good as she could.

Alicia and Elisabeth stepped into the crowd after ending the kiss. Their arms were wrapped around each other and Elisabeth felt her wife trembling slightly.

Alicia was relieved that she was now Elisabeth’s wife. She would like to crawl into bed with her, being held and sleep in the warm embrace. But she knew that they couldn’t dismiss the guests so easily. It would be rude. She didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. They were happy for them and sad that she lost her parents. The least she could do was sticking it out.

“We want to thank all of you for being here. To share this special moment with us on such a short notice. It means a lot to us,” Elisabeth told friends and families. “I am sure you understand that there will be no big party. We want to invite you to a little quiet dinner.”

Approving murmurs could be heard. The people present would like to congratulate and hug the happy couple. They instinctively knew that Alicia wouldn’t appreciate it at this point. So they followed to the dining room as well as the kitchen. Some of the men prepared another table in the living room.

Dinner was really quiet but with time Alicia became more anxious again. The nervousness was visible in her squirming. Elisabeth entwined their hands until the guests began to bid their farewells.

The newlyweds stepped next to the door. Alicia wrapped her arms around Elisabeth’s stomach from behind. She rested her chin on the narrow but strong shoulder as some kind of shield. She wasn’t ready to face the people without protection yet. Elisabeth shook hands on end while Alicia smiled politely. It didn’t reach her eyes. The anxiety was visible in them and Elisabeth felt it in the firm grip she didn’t object.

Most of the guests were gone when a dark-haired couple with bright smiles was left to say goodnight.

Elisabeth watched a genuine smile appear on Alicia’s face. It made her face shine from affection and she squeezed the arms holding her lovingly.

“Alicia, Rich would be so happy for you. And we are, too. But we want to tell you that we feel with you for the loss of your parents. If you should ever need anything… don’t hesitate to contact us. You’re the best friend Rich ever had,” Rose Bronson told Alicia. She took the hand the younger woman offered.

Elisabeth watched the scene unfold with a smile of her own. She leaned against the taller frame of her wife comfortably.

“Thank you, Rose, Michael,” Alicia said quietly. “Rich was also my best friend.”

Michael just nodded while his arm loosely rested around the waist of his wife. He had the same strong face like Rich, smiling at the happy couple.

“We wish you all the luck and happiness,” Rose continued, squeezing the hand she was still holding. “Good night, Alicia, Elisabeth.”

They replied with a goodnight of their own. They watched them leave arm in arm before retreating to Elisabeth’s room after saying goodnight to the family.

Alicia was the first to take a shower. She got dressed in white silken pajamas while it was Elisabeth’s turn. Entering the bedroom in dark blue silken pajamas, Elisabeth found Alicia crying on the bed. Her back was to the bathroom door. She pressed herself against Alicia from behind and wrapped her arms around the shaking body. She tried to sooth her wife.

“Sunshine, why didn’t you say anything? You could have come to the bathroom.”

“I didn’t want to disturb you,” Alicia replied tearfully.

Elisabeth hurt seeing her wife so insecure. She wanted to reassure her, wanted to tell her that she didn’t disturb her in any way. She pressed Alicia gently onto her back and placed herself on top of her. They gazed at each other lovingly, tears still streaming down Alicia’s face. Alicia wrapped her arms around the smaller body firmly.

“Listen to me, Alicia. I want you to tell me if you think there is anything wrong. I want you to come to me if you feel like it. It doesn’t matter what I am doing. Do you hear me?” Elisabeth asked and waited for Alicia to nod. “I won’t leave you alone as long as you don’t want it. And I want you to wake me up if you’re afraid. I won’t hold it against you. I won’t be furious because that’s the way you are right now. I understand that you’re fearful. I want to help you in any way I can. I want you to tell me whatever you feel like doing. I want you to say it if you want to be alone for a while. I won’t think any the less of you if you come to me the next moment, searching for my presence. It might look irrational but that’s the way you are and feel. I don’t want you to suppress anything. I understand you. I want to help. That’s what matters to me. Your well-being is the most important thing right now. And I don’t expect anything from you. I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything. I just want you to get well again. I know that it will take a while. I love you, sunshine.”

Alicia listened to the loving words. They soothed her in a way nothing and nobody else could. The beloved, husky voice washed over her. The tears slowly subsided, faced with such love and understanding. She was endlessly sad that she had lost her parents because she had loved them. They supported her in any way they could. At the same time she was happy to have Elisabeth with her. She understood Alicia and wouldn’t make her do anything she wasn’t ready for.

“I love you, too, Elly,” Alicia whispered. She placed a tender kiss on top of Elisabeth’s head. The auburn hair smelled of vanilla shampoo and was still a bit damp.

“I can only repeat it. Do what you feel like. No matter how absurd it may look or feel. Just do it,” Elisabeth whispered back. She smiled lovingly and made herself comfortable on top of her wife. “Sleep well, my love.”

“Good night, sweet Elly.”

They fell asleep in each others arms after Elisabeth switched off the light. The familiar position helped Alicia to relax. The warm body comforted her as usual.


	36. April 4, 2438, Time: 00:55:26, SD 115254.90

~~  
Alicia was sitting opposite her parents talking quietly among themselves in the back of the shuttle. They were on their way to Kokomo, Indiana. She asked them for some moments for herself before they arrived. She smiled watching them lovingly.

The night before was like a dream. Hours of showing and telling how much she loved Elisabeth. She could hardly wait until they would be alone in Elisabeth’s room tonight. The next morning they would travel to Risa on the Explorer.

She told her parents how much she loved them before asking them for some privacy. They understood that she wanted to have some time to think. They also told her that they also loved her. They wished her and Elisabeth all the luck in the universe.

The next thing she knew was that the pilot shouted something about an exploding nacelle before the wall behind her parents burst into fire. The shuttle seemed to lose height rapidly before it crashed into the ground. The cockpit also exploded and Alicia had to watch her parents burn after she hit her head hard on the bulkhead at her back. She felt her leg break upon impact.

She tried to free herself from the belt but it must have twisted when her body strained against it. She shielded her face from the heat and flames of the fire which was licking in her direction. 

She heard her parents scream in agony. She watched through gaps between her arms how they burnt. She wasn’t able to avert her eyes, screaming in unison with her family. She screamed until the pain and the fire suddenly stopped.  
~~

Elisabeth as well as the whole house woke from the penetrating, agonized scream issuing from Alicia’s throat. Nobody entered the room because they knew that Elisabeth would take care of her wife.

Elisabeth stroked Alicia’s face tenderly to wake the younger woman. Alicia sat up in bed and Elisabeth held on tight. She ended up in Alicia’s lap and wrapped her arms around Alicia soothingly.

She didn’t say a word while Alicia’s ragged breathing calmed down again. Alicia wrapped her arms around the smaller frame fiercely. She knew it was just a dream, a memory and that she was safe as long as she was with Elisabeth. They sank back onto the pillows neither of them letting go of the other. They lay there for a while until Alicia was calm again. She took some deep breaths.

“It’s good that we’re awake. Do you want to accompany me to the bathroom?” Elisabeth whispered.

“It’s enough if you leave the door open. So that I can see and hear you,” Alicia answered quietly. She placed a tender kiss at Elisabeth’s neck but she didn’t let her go yet.

Elisabeth squirmed on top of her wife. She enjoyed the playfulness despite her discomfort and tickled Alicia lightly where her hands rested on her waist. “You’re so evil, my love. Do you want to see me run?”

Alicia chuckled. “Of course,” she said before opening her arms.

Elisabeth jumped off the bed. She ran into the bathroom and heard her wife laugh while taking care of her bodily functions.

Returning Elisabeth found Alicia fast asleep. She smiled fondly when she crawled into bed again. She got comfortable on top of her wife once more who didn’t even stir.


	37. April 4, 2438, Time: 07:19:07, SD 115255.63

Elisabeth woke from hot skin against her bare chest. She heard and felt Alicia’s ragged breath against her own ear and she moaned quietly into the ear next to her mouth. The tantalizing feeling of Alicia’s full breasts against her own was heavenly, their legs entwined automatically.

“What are you doing?” Elisabeth rasped, wrapping her arms tighter around Alicia.

“I needed to feel you,” Alicia answered quietly. She lay on top of Elisabeth, both their pajama tops unbuttoned. Their bare breasts were pressed together. “I need to feel your skin against mine.”

“Why?” Elisabeth wanted to know though she wasn’t protesting at all; it felt just too good to be true.

“I don’t know. I just felt like doing it. You told me not to restrain from anything,” Alicia explained. She enjoyed the feeling of Elisabeth’s hot skin against her own.

Elisabeth’s hands wandered underneath Alicia’s pajama top. She jerked a bit from the cool digits. Elisabeth started to stroke the broad back. She felt Alicia tremble from holding most of her weight on her arms.

“You don’t have to hold your weight up. Just let go. You won’t crash me,” Elisabeth whispered. She felt Alicia lower herself very slowly. She enjoyed the wonderful feeling.

There was nothing sexual in this situation. It was only to comfort and both of them raveled in the sensation of skin on skin.

Alicia placed a tender kiss on Elisabeth’s ear before whispering, “I feel so safe with you.”

Elisabeth had to chuckle upon remembering last night. “Yeah, you were asleep as soon as I had left the room.”

Elisabeth closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She smelled the intoxicating scent of Alicia’s skin. Her hands still roamed the soft but strong back. She got to know the body again she knew so well 20 years ago. She didn’t want to force Alicia into anything.

Alicia loved the feeling of the elegant loving hands stroking her skin. Her arms lay on either sides of their bodies on the bed. Her head rested on Elisabeth’s shoulder.

“What’s on your mind?” Alicia asked in a low voice, eyes closed again.

“It’s not important what I’m thinking,” Elisabeth answered hoarsely, not stopping her ministrations.

“It’s important to me. I want to know what you want. I don’t just want to take but give as well.”

“I told you that I don’t expect anything. You don’t have to feel obligated to do anything. Right now the only person who matters here is you,” Elisabeth whispered into the offered ear.

“But I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with the things I do or would like to do.” Alicia was uncertain though Elisabeth told her not to suppress anything.

“Just do it. Don’t think about me,” Elisabeth ordered gently.

Alicia got up from her comfortable position and stripped her top the rest of the way off. Elisabeth watched her expectantly as she proceeded to discard herself of her pajama bottom and her panties. Elisabeth followed Alicia’s example after asking her with her eyes whether to do the same. They were soon lying there again like before but without any boundaries between their bodies.

Elisabeth marveled in the warm body above her own. She resumed the stroking and was content to just lie there and feel Alicia.

“I want you to tell me if this arouses you unbearably. Do you understand, sweet Elly?” Alicia whispered into her ear and nuzzled the auburn strands lovingly.

Their legs were entwined again. One of Alicia’s resting between Elisabeth’s and the other wrapped around Elisabeth’s left leg. She bathed in the familiar scent and the strong body underneath herself.

“I will,” Elisabeth promised. She wasn’t at all aroused right now but feeling loved and giving love in return.

Alicia pressed a tender kiss against the ear. Then she captured the beloved thin lips of her wife in a slow, passionate kiss. It lasted long moments, their tongues dancing around each other. They stroked lovingly and explored the still familiar areas thoroughly.

Elisabeth was delighted by the kiss. She didn’t expect this at all like after the ceremony. She chastised herself because she still didn’t learn to think she knew how Alicia would act.

Alicia needed this tender way of reassurance. To know she was still loved. That Elisabeth wouldn’t shy away and wouldn’t make her suppress the need to reconnect with Elisabeth in a physical way.

They wrapped the blanket around their cooling bodies. They dozed off for a while until Christine knocked at their door and told them that breakfast was ready. They took a shower together, washing each other tenderly. When they got dressed, Elisabeth in a black long-sleeved top, black sweatpants and white slippers, Alicia in a soft dark blue pullover, matching sweatpants and slippers, Alicia knew that everything was all right.

During their two year relationship they didn’t have much opportunity to shower together. But at every occasion Elisabeth initiated intimacies. Sometimes they made love for hours in a shower. That Elisabeth didn’t do anything today showed her that she didn’t pressure Alicia into doing anything she wasn’t ready for yet.

They went to the kitchen and had breakfast with the family.


	38. April 5, 2438, Time: 10:28:29, SD 115258.73

After breakfast the next morning there was a call for Alicia in the comm-room. Elisabeth accompanied her as Alicia hardly took a step without her wife.

“Alicia, first of all I want to offer you my sincere condolences. Your parents were really good friends of mine. I am very sad that they had to die,” the blond man on the screen offered.

Alicia knew Kevin Zimmermann from her childhood. Her father and the tall blond man went to school together and never lost contact.

“Thank you, Kev,” Alicia said quietly, holding Elisabeth’s hand.

“So what I have to tell you now will be a shock for you. It was for me. Someone seems to have manipulated the shuttle. It was no accident,” Kevin told the young woman treating like one of his many nieces because he knew her since she was born.

“What?” Alicia was shocked. She saw the same emotion reflected on Elisabeth’s face when she looked at her.

“It was also a shock for me. When we checked the shuttle the day before everything was fine. The authorities found some explosives. Luckily the ones at the portside didn’t go off. There were no traces of any kind to indicate who could have done this,” Kevin explained.

“Who would try to sabotage a shuttle?” Elisabeth asked.

“I don’t know,” Kevin answered. “The only thing I know is that this never happened before. Alicia, will you tell me when and where the funeral will take place?”

“Of course I will. Thank you, Kev,” Alicia said quietly and the fear was back.

Had someone tried to kill her parents and herself? And if so who would do such a thing? Alicia wasn’t able to tear her eyes off the black screen.

The ground Elisabeth had gained during the past days was gone again. The fear for her life settled onto her wife’s conscience one more time.

“Damn it!” Elisabeth cursed inwardly and wrapped her arms around Alicia comfortingly. “Who is trying to kill Alicia and her parents?”

Alicia began to tremble uncontrollably. She clung to Elisabeth almost painfully but the older woman didn’t care. She held on tight herself and stroked her wife tenderly.

Alicia wasn’t able to think straight. The horrible news had taken every little piece of trust she regained during the past few days away. They left her bare, raw. She felt totally without protection. She would like to crawl into the next corner, curl up in a ball and wait. For what she didn’t know.

Elisabeth didn’t want to stay in this sterile room. She got up from her seat. She took Alicia with her following without protest. Elisabeth had a strong arm around her waist. The other held Alicia’s hand in hers. Elisabeth led her wife into the living room. They got comfortable on her favorite chair in front of the fireplace which didn’t burn. She took Alicia onto her lap and wrapped a soft blanket around them.

Alicia’s head was resting against Elisabeth’s shoulder facing her neck. The younger woman was curled into a ball, Elisabeth’s arms wrapped tightly around her wife.

Elisabeth’s mouth was near Alicia’s ear. She whispered soothing words while Alicia didn’t stop trembling for a very long time.

“It’s all right, sunshine. I’m here. The whole family is there for you. We want to help you,” Elisabeth whispered huskily.

Like on an invisible sign, Christine appeared in the doorway. She stepped closer when she heard Elisabeth murmur quietly.

“What happened?” Christine asked in a low voice. She took a seat on the armrest to Elisabeth’s left, stroking Alicia’s back tenderly.

“It looks like the shuttle was sabotaged,” Elisabeth explained quietly. She felt tears dampen the fabric at her shoulder. “It’s all right. Let it all out, sunshine. Don’t hold anything back. I know it hurts.”

The shock was obvious on Christine’s face but she didn’t stop stroking Alicia. “Who would do such a thing?”

Christine suffered with her daughter-in-law. She had gotten to know Kerstin and her husband during the past months. She saw them as part of the family. The loss wasn’t easy to accept. She could only imagine how Alicia must feel at the moment. Learning that it wasn’t an accident was the next unbelievable shock in less than a week.

“We don’t know yet but I’m determined to find out. It will help you find your peace,” Elisabeth whispered into Alicia’s ear who didn’t seem to notice anything around herself. “But right now it’s more important to arrange the funeral. Mom, would you help us?”

Alicia listened to the conversation. She was unable to contribute anything. At the same time she was relieved and grateful that Elisabeth didn’t exclude her from the arrangements. Though she couldn’t really help it helped her. The stroking from Christine further soothed her frayed nerves. She cried unrestrainedly now.

They spent the rest of the day planning the funeral. In the evening everything was arranged for it.

Alicia didn’t say a word but Elisabeth knew about her parent’s last will. They talked about the topic more than 20 years ago. Alicia told her about the codes. Luckily they hadn’t changed them during all the time.

Elisabeth didn’t leave Alicia’s side. But after a few hours she was able to walk on her own again. She held Elisabeth’s hand the whole time long. She was present all the time.

Elisabeth helped Alicia get dressed for the night before changing clothes herself. They got comfortable in each other’s arms again like the previous nights. Alicia woke during the night a few times, screaming from the nightmares.


	39. April 7, 2438, Time: 09:46:43, SD 115264.13

During the following day, Elisabeth didn’t leave Alicia’s side. She wasn’t able to because the younger woman held on tight. Elisabeth didn’t object because she loved to have her wife close, no matter what condition she was in.

Alicia didn’t say a word. She searched for Elisabeth’s closeness feeling safe in her presence like before these even more horrible news. She was grateful for the support from the family though she wasn’t able to say so right now. She was crying most of the time. She only calmed down a bit when she was alone with Elisabeth for a while. The ceremony would start shortly.

They were sitting on the bed, both of them dressed in simple black pullovers and slacks. Elisabeth wore high heels, Alicia preferring flat loafers at the moment. Elisabeth had her hair in her usual bob framing the concerned looking face. Alicia’s blond curls were tied back in her usual loose ponytail. She was holding on to Elisabeth tightly.

“This is going to be very hard for you. But bear in mind that I’m with you. Don’t hesitate to lean on me,” Elisabeth whispered into the ear close to her mouth as Alicia’s head was resting against her shoulder. “It’s time… the family is waiting downstairs.”

Alicia took some deep breaths. She loosened the embrace a bit to look into her wife’s face shining from love and compassion.

“Thank you,” Alicia whispered hoarsely, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“No… don’t… there’s no reason for you to thank me. I promised to be there for you through good and bad times. I have to do this… my own well-being is tied to yours. I love you… so don’t thank me, please,” Elisabeth tried to explain. Alicia just nodded, holding the gaze with her tear-filled eyes.

Elisabeth placed a tender kiss on the closest cheek. She started to get up and grabbed Alicia’s hand before ending the embrace. Alicia wrapped one arm around Elisabeth’s waist. Together they went to the living room where the rest of the family as well as the closest friends were waiting for them. Everybody was wearing black.

The already mostly burnt bodies of Kerstin and Christian Schmidt were cremated the day before. Christine and William had been there as nobody expected of Alicia to do this. The ashes of her parents were now in two urns.

Kevin carried the one holding the remains of his best friend Christian. Christine was at his side with the remains of Kerstin in her hands. Tears streamed down her face while she looked at her daughter-in-law with sad gray eyes.

Before leaving the house Elisabeth had to steady her wife for a few moments. Alicia was taking deep calming breaths, not able to look into the faces of the people trying to support her. She would like to go back upstairs, undress and settle in bed together with Elisabeth. She wanted to forget everything around them and just hold onto her wife until everything was all right again. Knowing that it wasn’t possible Alicia was grateful when Elisabeth put her arm around her waist again. Elisabeth placed Alicia’s arm around her own shoulders and entwined their fingers.

“Are you ready?” Elisabeth asked quietly while everybody else was waiting for them to lead the way.

“No,” Alicia croaked.

Elisabeth rubbed her side reassuringly, placing a tender kiss on the wet cheek.

“You have to say goodbye to them. You’d regret it for the rest of your life if you missed this opportunity today, my love,” Elisabeth whispered. She gazed into the eyes of her wife.

Alicia nodded and knew that Elisabeth was right. She looked around the familiar faces, every single person returning her firm gaze. Christine, William, Rhea, Lisa, Thompson, Richardson and his daughter and some close friends of Kerstin and Christian.

Stepping out into the windy April morning, Alicia was stunned to see how many people were there to say goodbye to her parents. They helped her with their silent support. She nodded in passing, the group of family and closest friends following them silently.

The marquee which had been pitched for the wedding was still there. The catering service was busy preparing the food for after the ceremony while they gathered around the podium. Everyone took their seats and it was quiet for a while. Only the sounds of rustling clothes, birds flying by and the wind on the grass could be heard.

Christine and Kevin placed the urns on a small table on the podium. They turned to the assembled people, Kevin supporting the older woman who had calmed down a little bit.

“We are here today to say goodbye to two very special people,” Kevin began in his strong voice. It carried to the last row. “My best friend for over 50 years, Christian Schmidt and his wonderful wife Kerstin passed away. Every one of you will agree with me when I say that it was an honor being able to have had them in our lives. I’ve seldom seen people as strong, loving, supportive and affectionate as these two.” Agreeing murmurs could be heard everywhere and Alicia wiped her eyes with the handkerchief she was holding. “I want to tell you a little story.”

Kevin cleared his throat. He looked down at Christine for a moment before lifting his green gaze again. He stepped to the front. He was endlessly sad that his friends had to die. At the same moment he was happy for Alicia that she found the love of her life. That she could marry her despite the shock and loss of her parents.

“It was a wonderful day in May when I met Christian again after a few months of separate ways. He was sitting at a table in our favorite bar wearing the silliest grin I had ever seen on him. I asked whether he had seen some deity or something. He sighed deeply and replied: ‘Close… very close… dear friend… yesterday I lost my heart.’ His face was shining as well as his eyes like I had never seen them before. I had the hunch that the woman who had caught the lady-killer must be a very special person. And I was right as I learned when I met them a few weeks later at the same bar. They hardly had eyes for anyone but themselves. They were kissing almost constantly and when I left them about half an hour later after… I monologized all the time… they didn’t even notice. A call from Christian and Kerstin some time later showed two very red faces. They apologized lengthily and were very embarrassed about their behavior. I told them that I wasn’t furious or anything. But that I was very glad that they were so much in love. Only about three months after that day they got married. Twelve months after the wedding Alicia was born and the rest is history,” Kevin told the crowd. They enjoyed the story, a small smile playing around Alicia’s full lips. Elisabeth tightened the embrace upon seeing this. “Kerstin and Christian had a very fulfilled life with their wonderful daughter. They loved her unconditionally and supported her in every way they could. From the moment he entered school Christian had the wish to become a teacher. He did his job with all his heart during all those years. He had the wife he always dreamed of and was the happiest man on Earth as he had told me on more than one occasion. Both of them were as proud of Alicia as they could be and happy that she had found Elisabeth again. They didn’t deserve to die… nobody does but they died knowing that their life was full. That the most important person in their lives would become very happy. Rest in peace, my friends.” Tears welled up in his eyes when he said the last words and he wiped them away while everybody was quiet for some time. “Some people will now tell similar stories and Alicia will say the final words.”

The wind blew a bit stronger while Christine took the position in the front of the podium.

Christine’s blue-gray gaze rested on Alicia for a few moments before she started to speak. She addressed the assembled guests. “I am speaking for my husband William as well… The day we got to know Kerstin and Christian we knew that we had a lot in common. All of us parents of stubborn, strong and passionate women who had fallen in love in the blink of an eye. During the two years of their relationship we learned to appreciate the friendship with Alicia’s parents. It was a constant exchange among us. We’d been very sad when we had to break the contact.” Christine cleared her throat as her voice had become hoarse. “You will hardly be able to understand how happy and relieved we’d been when Kerstin contacted us after she learned that Elisabeth was the new Counselor on the Explorer… where as you all know… Alicia is the CMO. We all felt like there hadn’t been 20 years between our conversations. We still understood each other and caught up with the things we’d missed as we’d all been convinced that they’d get together again sooner or later. Kerstin and Christian were very important to us. We are endlessly sad that they had to die so early and in such a painful way but as Kevin said… they’d been happy with each other. They loved their daughter with all their hearts. They were even happy for Alicia who has found her happiness in our daughter. We will miss you forever but know that you’re resting in peace,” Christine finished. She cried silently for a while, Kevin supporting her with strong arms.

A lot of people had to say something about the deceased. Everybody listened patiently, getting to know Kerstin and Christian through the eyes of different people.

Alicia was amazed what different point of views they had of her parents. The pain wasn’t so unbearable anymore knowing that she wasn’t alone. That every single person present felt the same way as they lost very good friends, loved relatives or appreciated colleagues and acquaintances. She leaned against Elisabeth, letting free rein to her tears when the stories touched her deeply. She was happy for the support from the family around her.

After a long pause Alicia and Elisabeth stepped forward. They looked around the mostly familiar faces when they were standing on the podium.

“The first impression I got from Kerstin and Christian when I finally met them in person was that of two people loving their daughter. They were happy when she was and it didn’t change during our relationship,” Elisabeth began in her husky voice. She felt Alicia shiver in her arm as she had wrapped one around her waist. “During all the time I was able to talk to them. They treated me as an equal, supporting Alicia and myself because they knew that we loved each other. It was hard for me to leave Alicia as you’re probably able to imagine.” Agreeing murmurs could be heard. “I have to admit that I was a bit anxious when we returned from the deep space mission and went to Germany. I had imagined all kinds of worst-case scenarios. But being greeted by Kerstin with a slight nod was the least thing I expected. I got to know Kerstin and Christian as reasonable people and it was confirmed in the way Kerstin treated me as well as Christian later on. She didn’t accuse me but listened to the things I had to say. She asked questions she had a right to know the answers to, to be sure that her daughter would be happy. My respect for them grew even more. I had seldom met people so warm, loving and understanding. I am very sad that the opportunity to get to know them even better was taken from me.” Tears streamed down Elisabeth’s cheeks. Alicia tightened her hold on her shoulder and watched her wife lovingly. “As every single person who had to tell a story about Kerstin and Christian said… their lives were full, they loved each other and their daughter unconditionally. They will rest in peace knowing that Alicia will be happy again as soon as she has processed the horrible events.”

The wind tangled in Elisabeth’s auburn hair. It blew some tresses into her wet face and she brushed them away absentmindedly. She gazed at the mourners with her stormy gray eyes. She would have liked to say much more but the emotions overwhelmed her. She held on tight to her wife who was also looking around.

Alicia felt calm because she was now able to say goodbye to her parents. She would set them free and tell them what she thought about them. It was some kind of closure for this chapter of her life. Tears welled up in her eyes again but they didn’t fall. She looked at Elisabeth for a while taking some deep breaths.

“I don’t know what other people think about their parents but I couldn’t have wished for better ones,” Alicia said after clearing her throat. Her pleasant alto voice was strong and carried into the last row. Her eyes searched for contact with every single person. “From the moment I can consciously remember my parents were there for me. They gave me the freedom to develop into an independent person. I was allowed to make up my own mind. I told my opinion, disagreed when I felt like something was wrong. They supported me even when I got onto their nerves with my constant questions. I’ve always felt loved, adored and appreciated the way I was. They didn’t try to change me, put me onto a track they staked for me. They never told me to do something in a different way. They gave me their advice when I asked for it, sometimes even when I didn’t. But they didn’t try to manipulate me. Instead they helped me to become the person I am today.” Alicia averted her eyes. The motion of the grass in the wind caught her gaze and she thought for a moment while blinking the tears away. “I could go on with this forever… tell you what they made me feel… how I feel about them. I don’t want to bore you. So… there’s only one more thing I can say.” Alicia took a deep breath, the tears now falling silently. “Mom… Dad… I miss you. I love you and… I hope that you are happy together wherever you are. This is for you…”

Alicia cleared her throat again. She placed a soft kiss on Elisabeth’s cheek before ending the embrace. She stood there in front of the people feeling with her. She had her arms at her side and everybody was looking at her. Alicia’s eyes were directed at the cloudy sky.

She began to sing in her clear voice, “I used to think that I could not go on  
And life was nothing but an awful song  
But now I know the meaning of true love  
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it  
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky  
I think about it every night and day  
Spread my wings and fly away  
I believe I can soar  
I see me running through that open door  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down  
Sometimes silence can seem so loud  
There are miracles in life I must achieve  
But first I know it starts inside of me

If I can see it, then I can be it  
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky  
I think about it every night and day  
Spread my wings and fly away  
I believe I can soar  
I see me running through that open door  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly  
Cause I believe in me

If I can see it, then I can do it  
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky  
I think about it every night and day  
Spread my wings and fly away  
I believe I can soar  
I see me running through that open door  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly  
If I just spread my wings  
I can fly  
I can fly…..  
Fly fly fly…”

Despite the tears freely streaming down her cheeks, Alicia’s voice was strong. It carried far beyond the lines of mourners. There was not one single person who didn’t cry from the emotions in the voice, on the face and in the words.

It was quiet for a very long time. The wind had died down a bit but it grew stronger again now. Alicia searched for Elisabeth’s closeness. She wrapped her arms around her wife both of them crying unrestrained.

Elisabeth wasn’t prepared for the song. She was overwhelmed by her feelings; the sadness about the loss, the knowledge that Alicia would hurt for a very long time. At the same time she felt happiness, having this wonderful woman in her life and in her arms right now.

Christine clung to her husband. Angela held Rhea tight. Thompson supported Lisa. All of them were equally overwhelmed, calming down slowly until Alicia spoke again.

Kevin and Christine stepped to the podium. They joined Alicia and Elisabeth. Everybody watched in respectful silence as they opened the urns. They spread the ashes with the wind, mindful to not hit any of the people present. They watched as the gray dust disappeared in the distance over the green fields.

Christine wasn’t able to take it any longer. She threw her arms around Alicia and held onto the younger woman tightly. Both of them sobbed while Elisabeth stood close to them, tears marking her face.

It took a while until they all calmed down again. Alicia addressed the crowd one final time, “There’s some food under the marquee. Feel free to grab a bite or two. I want to thank all of you for your support… for your simple presence. Always remember Kerstin and Christian because they are with us as long as we won’t forget them and treasure their memory in our hearts.”

Murmurs arose, agreeing with Alicia. Everybody waited until Alicia and Elisabeth led the way.

The rest of the day was spent sharing memories and stories with each other; drinking, eating and Elisabeth and Alicia were the last to retire.


	40. April 10, 2438, Time: 21:20:57, SD 115273.67

Alicia was lying on the bed on her right side, tears of fury streaming down her face. Her eyes were closed and her left hand was clenched into a fist hitting the mattress over and over again forcefully. She had become angry over the past few days after the funeral. Though she didn’t really know why she tried to get rid of her rage. Elisabeth rested behind her. Her arms were wrapped around Alicia’s waist. The strong chin was lying on her shoulder. Elisabeth told her and encouraged her to let go. So she didn’t hold back now. They were both wearing their usual sleepwear of blue silken pajamas.

Elisabeth knew this belonged to the process of healing. She was there for her wife and didn’t judge or damn her in any way. She supported Alicia by silently being there and showing Alicia she didn’t do anything wrong. She leaned forward a little to place a tender kiss on the wet cheek. The fist solidly connected with her cheekbone. It didn’t hurt so she paid no attention. She just held the younger woman in a loving embrace.

It took very long for Alicia to calm down. She was exhausted from crying and drumming her fist against the bed. They fell asleep in each other’s arms. Alicia’s rest was disturbed by recurring nightmares and she appreciated Elisabeth’s presence. Her constant support and her demeanor like a rock was the most helpful of all. She was calmness and patience personified.

The next morning at about 0800 hours an earsplitting, bloodcurdling, ear piercing scream woke the whole Miller-house effectively. Elisabeth jolted upright and covered her ears with both hands for a moment. Until she realized that Alicia was the source. She wrapped her arms around her wife kneeling at her side to sooth her.

“Alicia, what’s wrong? Ssssshhh, nothing’s happened,” Elisabeth whispered into her ear. Alicia calmed down a bit, breathing heavily. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“No,” Alicia gasped. She loosened the embrace a bit and stroked Elisabeth’s cheek and eyebrow with trembling fingers. “I am sorry,” she whispered dolefully. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Alicia examined the black eye and cursed her behavior. The last thing she wanted was to cause any pain to the woman she loved and who supported her without hesitation.

Elisabeth didn’t understand what happened and what Alicia wanted from her. “What’s the matter?”

The door flew open. Alicia’s and Elisabeth’s heads jerked in the direction. Christine, Rhea and William entered the room in a hurry. They stopped in their tracks, staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed upon seeing Elisabeth with a wonderful, huge black eye.

Rhea tried to stifle her laughter unsuccessfully and roared after a few moments. She flopped down onto the bed. Christine and William stood there, arm in arm, smirking.

“What the hell is going on here?” Elisabeth looked at Alicia again. An inquiring eyebrow rose when she saw her wife grinning, happy that she didn’t cry for once.

“You should take a look in the mirror,” Rhea suggested between fits of laughter. She rolled around on the bed with an aching belly. “This is a picture for the heavens.”

Alicia was relieved knowing that she didn’t do it deliberately. She watched Elisabeth get up and disappear into the bathroom. She had to laugh when she heard a slight squeal from her wife. Elisabeth returned to the bedroom with a smile on her face.

Christine and William took a seat on the foot of the bed after Rhea had calmed down again. She was sitting next to Alicia now and looked at her sister wearing a big grin.

“That’s the hugest black eye I’ve ever seen,” Elisabeth stated, grinning broadly herself. She embraced Alicia from behind after crawling onto the bed and placed a kiss on the closest cheek as the night before. “It’s good to see you grin,” she whispered into her wife’s ear making her shiver.

Christine watched the happy couple and knew that Alicia was finally on the way to recovery.

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable; on the contrary everybody was content to just sit there for a while. They looked at each other, enjoying the happy atmosphere before having breakfast. Christine and Alicia prepared it while Elisabeth watched.

Elisabeth squirmed for a while on her seat until she couldn’t hold it any longer. She got up and slid her arms around Alicia’s waist from behind. She rested her chin on her shoulder. “”Do you think it’s okay if I use the bathroom for a few minutes?”

Christine smiled because of the protectiveness Elisabeth showed. She also smiled because of the black eye still adorning her face.

“Sure,” Alicia answered. She placed a light kiss on the closest cheek, the one with the black eye.

Elisabeth let go of Alicia but was stopped before she reached the door. “Lilly, while you’re at it. Use the dermal regenerator in the cupboard, please.”

“Dermal regenerator?!” Rhea asked breathlessly. She hid her hands behind her back and came to a halt in front of her sister.

Elisabeth wasn’t able to react as Rhea lifted the device in her hands. She pressed a button, taking a picture of the black eye and was gone the next moment.

“Rheaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” Elisabeth screamed, placing her hands on her hips. She heard Alicia and Christine laugh as they watched the exchange amused.

Elisabeth finally remembered why she was standing there. She ran for the bathroom which made Christine and Alicia laugh even harder.

“I’ve never seen Elisabeth this way,” Christine said when they were alone.

“What do you mean?” Alicia asked, still smiling.

“Did you know that you were the only one Elisabeth mentioned right away? She introduced you as soon as possible even willingly.” Christine remarked, nodding when she saw Alicia’s wide eyes. “Only a few days after she returned to the Academy I received a call from her. She told me that she’d fallen head over heels in love with someone.”

“How many days?” Alicia put the knife down she had been cutting an apple for a fruit salad with.

“Let me think about it, honey,” Christine mumbled not stopping to stir the dough for pancakes. “Rhea went overseas two days after Lilly left… same day… two days.”

Alicia smiled upon hearing the term of endearment from her mother-in-law. Her eyes went even wider. “Two days… that was the day Elisabeth had first passed me when I was sitting on the bench.”

“It was…,” Alicia trailed off when she felt Elisabeth return. The hair on the back of her neck prickled.

Alicia watched Elisabeth take her seat at the table. She looked a lot better without the dark bruises. They finished preparing breakfast in silence. Elisabeth realized at once that something was bothering her wife.

When they were finished, William had to return to San Francisco and Starfleet Headquarters. He was determined to find out what happened to the shuttle, Alicia and her parents had been traveling in. He said goodbye for the time being to his women. It was really hard for him to leave this time. He knew that they were safe in the house but Alicia’s condition barely changed. He really hoped that Elisabeth would be able to help her during the next few weeks. They decided to stay on Earth in Indiana until Alicia would continue work on the Explorer when she was ready for it. He hugged his new daughter lovingly for a long time. He wasn’t able to refer to Alicia as his daughter-in-law.

“You know that you are safe here, don’t you?” William asked quietly.

Alicia returned the embrace with a strong grip. She rested her chin on the strong shoulder. “Yes, I know.” Alicia wasn’t able to say more as tears of gratitude filled her eyes.

Elisabeth watched the exchange with a smile on her face. She stood next to her mother also smiling brightly.

“I don’t just see you as Lilly’s wife but as a daughter. I love you like one, too. You belong to this family like every single member who was born into it. I hope you know that,” William continued. “I am happy that Lilly’s got you back.”

Alicia tightened her grip upon hearing these amazing words. She let free rein to her tears now. “It means everything to me, thank you, William.”

William rubbed Alicia’s back lightly. He placed a tender kiss on her cheek before releasing her. He gave her a warm smile before waving one last time. He left for the shuttle waiting outside.

Alicia was fearful knowing that William was using a shuttle. She knew she couldn’t stop him from leaving and prayed to whatever deity would listen to protect him from any harm.

Elisabeth settled on the couch in the living room. She decided to read a novel she had wanted to read for some time now. She didn’t press Alicia to join her, wanting her to make her own choice. She sensed that her wife was preoccupied with her own thoughts.

Alicia leaned against the doorframe of the living room. Her arms were crossed over her chest and looked at her wife for a few moments. Somehow she had the urge to be alone for a while.

“Elly,” Alicia said quietly and waited for her wife to turn her head in her direction. “I will be in the bedroom.”

Elisabeth just nodded, having expected something like that. She watched Alicia disappear in the corridor. She didn’t know what was bothering her wife but she wouldn’t press Alicia to say anything she didn’t want to share right now. She tried to concentrate on her reading but her mind was with her wife. She would like to go to her, hug her and never let go again. But it was the wrong thing to do. So she just sat there. After a while she was engrossed in the story though Alicia was constantly in the back of her mind.

Elisabeth was totally absorbed in reading when Christine entered the room. She joined Elisabeth on the couch, startling her daughter. “Where’s Alicia?”

“In the bedroom,” Elisabeth answered, putting the PADD aside. She looked at the chronometer on the mantelpiece, showing that it was nearly 1300 hours. She wondered where the time had gone.

“Why aren’t you with her?” Christine asked quietly.

“I didn’t want to impose myself upon her,” Elisabeth answered in a low, husky voice.

“That’s not what you do. I admire your patience... the way you treat Alicia. Me in your stead… I would have gone crazy after only a few days,” Christine admitted.

“That’s what I learned after all.”

“No, this is not your job,” Christine said totally convinced. She put an arm around Elisabeth’s shoulder. “You’re not doing this because you have to. You do this because you love Alicia. You need her to feel safe, be all right again for your own well-being.”

Elisabeth had to admit her mother was right. “She’s everything to me. I don’t know how I was able to survive the last two decades without her. When I watched the shuttle crash… the only thing I wanted at that moment was to die and be with Alicia.”

Alicia listened in on the conversation from her position at the door. She leaned against the frame. Her hair was tousled from sleep. She yawned quietly and was amazed about the hurt in Elisabeth’s voice.

“I felt so lost believing that the love of my life died,” Elisabeth whispered, leaning her head against Christine’s shoulder. “There was no reason to go on anymore… it felt like a part of me was gone… until Dad said that she needs me now… I didn’t know what to believe. When I saw her lie in that huge bed... she looked so small and fragile. I didn’t dare touch her at first, afraid that she would vanish.”

Alicia heard Elisabeth talk about the events for the first time. She knew she hadn’t talked about them with anyone.

“I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost Alicia again. I want to spend the rest of my life with her… protect her and at the same time… I know that it’s impossible. But I want her to know that she can rely on me,” Elisabeth said quietly and felt a hand against her cheek.

Alicia stepped to the back of the couch. “I know,” Alicia whispered. She was startled when Elisabeth threw her arms around her neck after getting on her knees on the couch. Alicia wrapped her wife in a strong embrace.

“I love you so very much, Ally.”

“I love you,” Alicia answered.

“It’s becoming a habit… you sneaking up on me and listening in on my conversations,” Elisabeth whispered. She felt her mother get up from the couch and heard her leave the room.

“Do you mind?” Alicia asked.

“Not at all.”

Alicia captured the thin lips of her wife in a tender kiss. It was just the brushing of lips and neither woman tried to deepen it but they felt the love they conveyed with it.

“I want you to know that you don’t disturb me,” Alicia whispered when they parted.

“It was a bad choice of words. I want to give you the freedom to do what you feel like doing. I don’t want to hold you back from it,” Elisabeth answered, resting her head on Alicia’s shoulder.

“I wanted to read for an hour or a half. I must have been more tired than I expected,” Alicia confessed a bit embarrassedly, her cheeks showing a slight tint of red.

“It’s okay, sunshine. You don’t have to explain yourself. It’s your right to do whatever you want.” Elisabeth stroked the strong back slowly. She enjoyed the warm embrace and they were silent for some moments.

“You told Christine about me the day you’d seen me on the bench?” Alicia asked uneasily.

“As soon as I’d seen you I knew that you are the person I’ve always waited and searched for. Your eyes showed your very soul. They captivated me from the first moment you looked at me,” Elisabeth explained quietly, gazing at the beloved face and into the aforementioned eyes.

They looked at each other for a while. They were both deep in their own thoughts and Alicia felt herself relax. She hadn’t done so for the past nearly two weeks. She was grateful for Elisabeth’s constant presence. She admired her for her patience and was almost happy to have her almost for herself.

“Let’s tell Eric what we decided before lunch is ready,” Elisabeth suggested. She crawled over the backrest of the couch and joined Alicia on her way to the comm-room.

The connection was soon established. The screen showed the face of their superior officer looking at them expectantly.

“Dr. Schmidt, Elisabeth. Before we get to business… I’d like for you, Dr. Schmidt, to call me Eric like your wife. I wanted to offer it in person during the celebration of your wedding… but the events prevented me from doing so,” Richardson said. He gazed at both women with his black eyes, wearing his uniform of command red.

“I’m honored, Eric. So you have to call me Alicia,” Alicia offered in return.

“I appreciate it, Alicia. Next time we’re in the same room we’ll have to make it official with a good drink,” Richardson said and winked, smiling.

“That will be in about three and a half weeks, Eric.”

“Looking forward to it. You get well again, Alicia. Elisabeth, watch out for her with eagle-eyes. Take care of the both of you,” he ordered good-naturedly.

“Yes, Sir,” Elisabeth answered and saluted slightly with a huge grin on her face. “We expect the Explorer to be in one piece when we return on May 5th at around noon.”

“It will and we will all miss you. A lot of people asked for you. I shall wish you well and congratulate you to your wedding. So, if that’s all I have to return to the bridge.”

“Thank you, Eric,” Elisabeth said. “Take care yourself and please greet your daughter from us.”

“I will. Bye. Alicia, Elisabeth.” The screen went black and both women looked at each other before getting up. They joined Christine and Rhea in the kitchen.


	41. May 5, 2438, Time: 13:10:29, SD 115341.23

Alicia and Elisabeth were standing in front of the Miller-house. The straps of their bags were over their shoulders and they wore their teal uniforms. Christine and Rhea stood on the front porch after they said goodbye to each other for the time being.

Alicia was happy to return to the Explorer though she was still a bit anxious. She made good progress with the help of her wife and the rest of the family. At first Elisabeth accompanied her everywhere. They talked about Alicia’s feelings lengthily and two days ago she could go to Kokomo all by herself. She’d been afraid but it was a huge step on her way to recovery. She wasn’t ready for certain things yet, like flying in a shuttle. That was the reason why the Explorer was currently orbiting Earth to beam them up on their sign.

Elisabeth was proud of her wife for her progress. That she wanted to return to space which she was grateful for. She loved Earth. It was the place she was born after all. But after she spent two decades away from it and enjoyed the freedom in space it was getting on her nerves to stay in one place for so long. It unnerved her to not see the stars from the viewport of a starship.

“Ready?” Elisabeth asked her wife, looking up into the smiling face with the sparkling eyes.

“Yes,” Alicia simply answered after taking a deep breath.

Elisabeth slapped her comm-badge. “Miller to Explorer. Two to beam up.”

Both of them waved. They saw the gesture returned by Christine and Rhea before the blue sparkles of the transporter took them to their destination. They materialized on the platform in the transporter room on the Explorer. Richardson was there to welcome them back to work.

Richardson hugged them in turn when they stepped down. He admired the fresh look of Alicia after the trying times she went through. He invited them for dinner in his quarters the same evening to make the friendship final.

“I will walk you to Sickbay and the office,” Richardson offered, leaving the transporter room behind them.

“There’s something we have to talk about with you, Eric.” Elisabeth flanked him to his right side while Alicia walked along his left.

“What can I do for you?” he asked, looking down to the smaller woman seriously.

They talked about the situation on the ship extensively before their return. They hoped Richardson would agree with their request for as long as Alicia needed it.

“Do you think it is possible to carry out some modifications in Alicia’s office? I would like to use it as mine for the time being respectively share it with her until she is ready to be for herself again,” Elisabeth requested. She clasped her hands behind her back after they left their bags with the Ensign from the transporter room. She looked at Alicia nodding slightly in agreement.

“That shouldn’t be a problem. I will ask Maintenance to start with their work as soon as we arrive in Sickbay. I think it should be ready by tomorrow morning.” Richardson wanted to help them as much as he could. He would do anything to make things as comfortable for his CMO as possible.

“Thank you,” Alicia said quietly, smiling at Richardson gratefully.

Alicia was still afraid on her own. She was happy when Elisabeth suggested these arrangements until she felt safe again. She had never been so dependent on a single person. She had always been her own master even as a small child. She was amazed that she didn’t feel threatened or weak at all but strong because Elisabeth didn’t treat her like a sick person. She was there for her when she needed her but also understood when she wanted time for herself. Elisabeth didn’t press her for anything and she was grateful for her strong wife with the unbelievable patience and calmness.

The rest of the day they got used to their work again. They familiarized themselves with the things that happened during their absence. They met Richardson in his quarters for dinner when their duty shift was over for the day.


	42. May 20, 2438, Time: 18:12:14, SD 115382.90

The scent of freshly made pancakes wafted through the air. That’s what woke Elisabeth slowly lying on her side on the king-sized bed in their quarters on Deck 3. She shared them with Alicia now. She opened her eyes, turning onto her back. The sight of Alicia with a huge tray in hand greeted her. Alicia was wearing the light blue silken pajamas, she usually wore. Her hair cascaded around her shoulders and a smile graced her full lips. Elisabeth returned the smile lovingly. She sat up and gazed at her wife expectantly. Alicia placed the tray laden with a wonderful breakfast for two on her lap.

Elisabeth could see the uncertainty in Alicia’s steps which would remain for some time now. But she was sure no one else would detect it.

“What is this for?” Elisabeth asked perplexed.

“You’ve got no idea, do you?” Alicia laughed when Elisabeth shook her head, taking stock of the wonderfully smelling food.

There were pancakes of course; fruit salad, jam, gems, scrambled eggs, hot chocolate and orange juice as well as a small black box. It dawned on Elisabeth. Was it another year again? Another year older?

“Oh no. Not my birthday. Why did you have to remind me of this?” Elisabeth asked with good humor, grinning at Alicia.

“I love you, too,” Alicia replied smiling.

Alicia stopped Elisabeth from reaching for the box and took both her hands in hers. “Before you open the gift I want to sing a song for you.”

After the funeral Alicia kept on singing. She processed her feelings this way. It seemed to help her very much. Elisabeth loved to listen to the wonderful alto voice of her wife, singing love songs most of the time. This was no difference when Alicia started, sitting at the edge of the bed and looking into Elisabeth’s eyes.

“You and I must make a pact   
We must bring salvation back   
Where there is love   
I'll be there  
I'll reach out my hand to you   
I'll have faith in all you do   
Just call my name   
And I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you   
I build my world of dreams around you   
I'm so glad I found you   
I'll be there with a love so strong   
I'll be your strength   
You know I'll keep holding on 

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter   
Togetherness well it's all I'm after   
Just call my name   
And I'll be there   
I'll be there to protect you  
With an unselfish love that respects you   
Just call my name   
And I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you   
Build my world of dreams around you   
You know I'm so glad that I found you  
I'll be there with a love so strong   
I'll be your strength   
You know I'll keep holding on 

If you should ever find someone new   
I know she'd better be good to you   
'Cause if she doesn't   
Then I'll be there   
Don't you know, baby yeah yeah   
I'll be there   
I'll be there  
Just call my name   
And I'll be there  
I'll be there baby   
You know I'll be there   
Just call my name   
And I'll be there   
Just look over your shoulder   
Just call my name   
And I'll be there.”

Alicia took a deep breath when she was finished. She watched tears of joy stream down Elisabeth’s face. “Happy birthday, my love.”

Elisabeth lifted the hands to her mouth and placed loving kisses on the elegant fingers. “Thank you, sunshine.”

Elisabeth totally forgot about her birthday with all the recent events. It meant a lot to her that Alicia hadn’t. Her singing a song for her was a precious gift because she knew how much it meant to Alicia to sing. She wasn’t able to put into words how much she felt for Alicia. How much she meant to her and so she leaned over the tray. Careful to not break anything she captured the full lips of her wife in a soft, slow kiss. She tried to convey all her feelings in this gesture of lovers.

Alicia returned the kiss lovingly. Their tongues stroked each other, dancing and they didn’t hurry anything. They just enjoyed the feeling of this loving embrace, their hands entwined between them.

“May I open the gift now?” Elisabeth whispered when they parted, gazing at each other. One pair of eyes was dark blue, the other like the sky.

Alicia released her hands slowly and made herself comfortable next to Elisabeth on the bed. The older woman took the box and opened it expectantly.

On a black cushion there was a heart from glass. Elisabeth gazed at her wife with wide eyes. “That’s beautiful.”

“Don’t say that yet,” Alicia whispered into her ear. She was leaning in to look at the pendant.

Elisabeth lifted an eyebrow inquisitively and took a better look at the gift when Alicia just grinned at her. She reached for the pendant and was amazed to see it shine in many different colors depending on how the light was reflecting from it. She was able to see two women kissing each other which was engraved into the crystal heart as she now knew. At the top of both upper swells of the heart there were holes for necklaces. When she held the heart into the lights from the ceiling she saw the fine lines in the middle. It could be separated and at this moment she realized that it wasn’t just any pair of women but them. It was a picture Rhea had taken of them when they’d been in Kokomo for one of their holidays.

“This is amazing. Thank you, sunshine.” Elisabeth placed a tender kiss on the closest cheek. “We will replicate some necklaces later.” She put the pendant back into the box.

They had breakfast, before taking a shower together and getting ready for their duty shifts.

The whole day long people visited sickbay to congratulate Elisabeth for her birthday. In the evening her hand was sore from shaking it so often.


	43. November 10, 2438, Time: 19:35:06, SD 115859.77

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the explicit rating!!! :D

Elisabeth left the Captain’s quarters still wearing her uniform after her usual weekly dinner. Alicia had accompanied her until a few weeks ago. She was happy her wife was herself again after nearly half a year of fear, insecurities and pain. But there were still times when everything resurfaced. Elisabeth was there for her as she had been from the beginning.

Her collision with someone took her from her reverie. She was on her way a few doors down to their quarters. She looked down on a light brown head reaching her abdomen which was turning now. Looking up at her with intense green eyes and a mischievous smile on the young face was a little girl.

“Hi! Who are you?” Elisabeth asked returning the smile 

“I am Lara,” the girl answered in a high childish voice. It delighted Elisabeth to no end and she took a step backwards. “And you?”

“I am Elisabeth Miller. The ship’s Counselor,” Elisabeth replied.

“My Daddy has told me about you. He is talking about my mother’s death with you,” Lara offered without hesitation.

Elisabeth searched her brain for a man talking about the death of his wife mentioning a little daughter. She came up with a name: Ensign Christopher Perry from Security. She liked the man and the way he talked about his wife and his daughter in particular.

“So you are Lara Perry, little lady?” Elisabeth laughed when Lara’s eyes went wide. “What are you doing here alone?”

“I was searching for my Dad. He’s a Security Officer on beta shift. The computer told me he’s making his rounds but every time I am where he used to be he is already gone,“ Lara explained.

“Why do you need him?” Elisabeth was curious about the answer. She smiled wistfully, remembering how she used to be at that age.

The girl was wearing flat loafers, wide pants and a long-sleeved top. All of it was dark blue and her light brown hair were flowing freely around her shoulders. Childish curiosity and intelligence shone in the bright green eyes.

“I wanted to say goodnight before having dinner.” Lara’s fair cheeks turned slightly pink. She was a little embarrassed admitting this. She was 5 years old already and should go to bed without her father bringing her there.

“Miller to Ensign Perry,” Elisabeth hailed after slapping her comm-badge.

“Perry here. What can I do for you, Counselor?” came the reply with a pleasant male voice.

“Ensign, I just got to know your daughter. She would like to say goodnight to you. Would you agree if she had dinner with my wife and me in our quarters?”

“Lara is with you? Sure, go ahead. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Thank you, Counselor.” The smile was obvious in his voice.

Lara watched the Counselor smiling. She decided she liked the woman. Elisabeth was not much taller than herself with kind eyes and auburn hair.

“Okay, Miller out.” Elisabeth looked down again. She offered a hand which Lara took without hesitation. “What would you like to eat?”

They walked to the door of the quarters which opened as soon as Elisabeth stepped into the sensor. She let Lara enter first and her eyes met Alicia’s across the room. Alicia was sitting on the couch in a relaxed position. She had obviously been reading a PADD which was resting on her stomach now. She was wearing a similar outfit to Lara’s only of a slightly lighter blue. A smile appeared on the face of the younger woman when she looked at Lara returning it with bright green eyes.

“Doctor Schmidt is your wife?” Lara asked in awe looking up at Elisabeth.

“You know her?” Elisabeth asked curiously.

Alicia joined them at the door after putting the PADD down on the table. She greeted the little girl with a quiet, “Hi.”

“I once fell when Gina was chasing after me. I broke my wrist. Doctor Schmidt healed it,” Lara explained looking up at the two women smiling.

“I told you to call me Alicia, remember?” Alicia said and winked when Lara nodded enthusiastically.

The door-chime prevented them from going on for now. Elisabeth opened the door with a, “Come.”

A handsome, tall man with light brown hair like Lara’s, brown eyes and a kind face stepped inside. He wore a yellow uniform and Lara made him crouch down in front of her.

“Daddy, may I stay with Alicia and the Counselor for a while?” Lara asked excited.

Perry looked at the two women standing next to each other. They watched the exchange with bright smiles on their faces, both of them nodding in agreement.

“I will bring her to your quarters when she has eaten and is tired,” Elisabeth offered.

“I don’t want to make a fuss,” Perry assured.

“It’s no problem. I’d like to spend some time with Lara,” Elisabeth answered.

“Okay. So sleep tight, honey.” Perry placed a tender kiss on his daughter’s cheek hugging him lovingly. He left with a grateful nod to the two women.

Lara turned around and smiled.

“You didn’t answer my question, little lady,” Elisabeth reminded her. After a few seconds of thinking Lara knew what Elisabeth meant.

Alicia enjoyed watching her wife interact with the girl. The smile on her face was genuine and her now dark blue eyes sparkled with joy. She followed them to the replicator.

“I’d like to eat chicken with French fries and a salad,” Lara ordered confidently and took a seat at the table.

Elisabeth smiled crookedly before turning to the replicator and ordering the dish. Both women set down on either side of Lara keeping company with her while she was eating.

“Are you not hungry?” the girl asked, gnawing at a chicken wing.

“I had dinner with the Captain. Alicia ate something, too.” Alicia nodded slightly in acknowledgment. “But we will join you for dessert if that’s okay. You may choose.”

Lara beamed at them and ate enthusiastically. “Do you always eat separately?”

Alicia chuckled before answering. “No, most of the time we eat together. But we have friends we don’t want to neglect. So we spend time with them, too.”

“May I be your friend?” Lara asked without another thought. “With both of you and spend time with you?”

“I’d like that,” Elisabeth agreed and Alicia nodded again. “How about we have dinner tomorrow evening?”

Lara was happy to agree. She liked Alicia from the first day she was in sickbay and she definitely liked the Counselor.

“Lara? Would you please call me Elisabeth?”

Alicia watched the affectionate smile appear on Lara’s face. She nodded enthusiastically.

They won a new friend and they couldn’t imagine what this friendship would entail in the future.

When Lara was finished they each ordered a bowl of vanilla ice cream with strawberries. They seemed to have the same taste in desserts. The women listened to the stories the girl had to tell. Both of them were delighted by the openness and enthusiasm of the little girl. Lara didn’t seem to have any restraint concerning the women. It didn’t matter that she knew them only for a short while.

The bowl nearly empty, Lara began to yawn from exhaustion. Elisabeth joined her and Alicia chuckled watching them.

“How about I take you to your quarters, Lara? Elisabeth will take a shower while I’m gone,” Alicia suggested and Elisabeth gazed at her gratefully.

“Sure.” Lara emptied her bowl.

She put it into the replicator together with the one’s from Alicia and Elisabeth. She finally stood in front of Elisabeth who was still sitting at the table.

“Thank you for the dinner, Elisabeth. I will see you tomorrow evening?”

“You’re welcome.” Elisabeth smiled widely. She nodded in agreement and found herself wrapped in an amazingly strong embrace from the girl. She returned it equally and rubbed the fragile back tenderly.

Alicia loved the way Elisabeth talked to Lara, treated her, looked at her and smiled at her. The dark blue eyes sparkled more from minute to minute. She knew how her wife felt. She’d been smitten with the little girl the moment she walked into sickbay a few weeks ago. The face was wet from tears but she was so damn brave and hugged Alicia in the end like she did with Elisabeth now.

“Sleep well, little lady,” Elisabeth said quietly.

“You, too,” Lara replied smiling brightly. She grabbed Alicia’s hand, leading her to the door.

Alicia smiled at Elisabeth knowingly over her shoulder before the door shut behind her. She escorted Lara to her quarters on deck 30. She watched Lara dress for sleep in a cute little pink pajama, tucked her in and left the quarters again after an affectionate hug.

Alicia stepped into the turbolift when it arrived. She knew that she wouldn’t be this far, riding through the ship on her own if it hadn’t been for Elisabeth. The older woman helped her by just being there, listening to her when she wanted to talk. She was quiet when Alicia wasn’t like talking. Elisabeth encouraged and supported her by her constant presence. Elisabeth hadn’t pressed her to do anything. She was as patient as Alicia never saw another person before. She admired and loved her wife for this strength.

There were trying moments at the beginning when they returned to the Explorer. But she was able to master them with the help of her wife. Most of the time she only told Elisabeth how she felt. Hearing the assurance from Elisabeth that it was all right, that she hadn’t done anything wrong was everything she needed. Elisabeth understood that this was the way she was and felt at that moment.

Elisabeth insisted to try things on her own. She didn’t force Alicia into anything. She was always there when Alicia wasn’t able to do so. This knowledge helped her in the end. Knowing that whatever she did, wherever she was, Elisabeth wasn’t far and didn’t condemn her in any way.

Alicia returned to their quarters finding Elisabeth lying on her side on the bed. She faced the door and was reading a PADD. She smiled at Alicia lovingly when she entered. She changed into her light blue silken pajamas and snuggled into Elisabeth from behind. Her wife put the PADD aside and placed her arms over Alicia’s wrapped around her own waist. She wore her usual dark blue silken pajamas. Alicia rested her chin on the narrow but strong shoulder and nuzzled the hair at Elisabeth’s ear lovingly.

“You’re totally smitten with the girl,” Alicia accused good-naturedly.

“So are you,” Elisabeth returned the accusation with a big grin. She pressed her back firmer against Alicia’s front, their legs entwining. “She’s so very cute,” Elisabeth admitted wistfully.

“I love the way you interact with Lara. You’d be a great mother,” Alicia whispered into her ear.

Elisabeth squeezed the arms holding her. “Do you think you’re too old for a baby?”

“Biologically I’d be able to have one. Don’t you think it would be unfair for the baby? Imagine… she’s in her puberty, you are nearly 70 and I am 55… I think we’d go crazy,” Alicia predicted.

“You’re right but it’s nice to dream about it,” Elisabeth whispered.

“I’m not stopping you from dreaming, sweet Elly.” Alicia placed a tender kiss at her cheek.

“So you’d like to have a girl?” Elisabeth asked.

“Girls are cute,” Alicia replied.

They both laughed for a while. They enjoyed the way they were able to talk about such things openly.

Elisabeth turned her head slightly until she gazed into Alicia’s eyes, both of them smiling. Alicia closed the distance between them and captured the thin wine-red lips in a slow, tender kiss. Their tongues stroked, dancing around each other. They explored the mouth of the other woman thoroughly.

“I love you so very much,” Elisabeth said hoarsely when they parted.

Alicia tightened the embrace. “I love you, too… more than I can say.” Alicia’s voice was husky from her overwhelming emotions. “You are my world…” Alicia nuzzled the necklace of some kind of leather around Elisabeth’s neck. It bore one half of the heart she had given Elisabeth for her last birthday. They wore them constantly. “Computer, lights out,” Alicia ordered in her strong alto voice.

The room went dark, only illuminated by the streaks of stars outside the viewport. But it was enough when their eyes adjusted.

Alicia started to unbutton Elisabeth’s pajama top and the older woman inhaled sharply. “What are you up to?”

Alicia didn’t answer, finishing her task slowly. She covered the round mounds she just revealed with warm loving hands. She squeezed tenderly and felt the nipples pebble instantly. It made Elisabeth moan quietly and arch into the soft touch. Elisabeth searched for the mouth near her ear frantically. She turned her head and captured the full lips in a passionate kiss. Alicia kept on fondling Elisabeth’s breasts with skillful hands. She manipulated the nipples with thumb and forefinger, rolling them carefully at first. She became more insistent with every passing minute. Elisabeth buried her right hand in Alicia’s soft tresses massaging her scalp encouragingly. The other one covered Alicia’s left hand at her own breast.

Alicia felt Elisabeth’s bottom squirm against herself. She abandoned the right breast but put Elisabeth’s own hand to work there. She stroked with her now free hand the torso of her wife, enjoying the muscles twitching under her touch.

Elisabeth was totally aroused. She deepened the kiss by pressing against Alicia’s head. The younger woman froze when her hand touched smooth skin where she had expected to feel curly hair. She ended the kiss abruptly and moaned quietly. Smiling knowingly she realized just how similar they were in so many ways.

Elisabeth enjoyed the feeling of Alicia’s full breasts pressing into her back through the fabric of their pajama tops. Her wife’s nipples were suddenly hard from arousal. Alicia began to stroke every single place she was able to reach of her wife’s body in this position. She hardly touched the hot skin and drove Elisabeth crazy with the light caresses. Alicia set her whole body on fire. Elisabeth covered Alicia’s arms with her own, not urging her wife on in any way. Instead she enjoyed the loving ministrations and rubbed her bottom against Alicia’s groin deliberately.

“I just wanted to help you with your tension,” Alicia whispered hoarsely, not stopping her stroking. Their hands reached Elisabeth’s thighs still covered with the silken pajamas. “But you make me so hot with your readiness and responsiveness. I’ll need my own release when I’m done with you.”

Elisabeth couldn’t stop the loud moan from escaping upon hearing these words. Their right hands lifted Elisabeth’s right leg and placed it over both of Alicia’s which she pressed in between. Elisabeth freed herself of her pajama trousers and panties in a hurry. It made Alicia chuckle and Elisabeth finally slipped off the top. She gasped when her hot skin touched the cool silk of Alicia’s pajama. Elisabeth was in her wife’s arms again, her right leg resting over Alicia’s. It opened her center wide and she covered Alicia’s arms with hers again. She didn’t press her to do anything but waited for Alicia’s next move patiently, eyes closed.

“I’d like to feel your skin on mine,” Alicia continued quietly, sliding with her fingertips along Elisabeth’s torso. She circled the hardened nipples lightly which made Elisabeth shiver together with the seductive voice. “But I can’t guarantee to go slow as soon as I feel you. I want our first time after such a long time to be special for you… for us. Not just fast and lustful sex but slow, tender lovemaking. So I won’t undress for the time being.”

Elisabeth was totally vulnerable in the strong arms of her fully clothed wife. She wasn’t afraid, instead she felt loved, adored, protected and aroused like the last time they made love 20 years ago. She captured Alicia’s full, inviting red lips in a slow kiss again. The motions of her wife’s skilled fingers turned her on to no end but she didn’t want to hurry her. So she was patient, enjoying Alicia’s loving ministrations. Elisabeth’s tongue explored her wife’s hot, wet mouth very slowly. She moaned quietly as Alicia began to roll her nipples between thumb and forefinger of both hands maddeningly slowly.

Alicia loved the way Elisabeth felt in her hands, in her arms, in her mouth. She had to restrain herself from taking her wife hard and fast. She hardly thought about making love during the past six months. Concentrating on getting well again with Elisabeth’s help she didn’t have the desire. Knowing that she wouldn’t be forced to do anything she hadn’t been ready for yet it was easy. She wanted Elisabeth to feel cherished. She wanted to show her how much she loved the older woman with her actions. Tell it to her with loving words and she hoped Elisabeth felt everything down to her core.

Elisabeth pressed her bottom into Alicia, deepening the kiss by entering Alicia’s mouth fully with her curious tongue. She suckled at her counterpart hungrily and held the loving hands in place against her own bosom. She’d forgotten how good it felt to be touched by another person loving her unconditionally. She realized how much she’d truly missed with a vengeance. She swore that this would never happen again and to bring Alicia the same release her wife promised her.

Alicia cupped the pliant mounds in her palms now, massaging them slowly. She felt the hard nubs press into her skin. She ended the kiss slowly, suckling at Elisabeth’s lower lip for a while. Then she trailed wet kisses to her ear, breathing into it raggedly from her own arousal.

“You feel so good, sweet Elly,” Alicia rasped which made Elisabeth shiver again. “The way we’d made love the night before you left was incredible. Knowing that you’d gone only after making me feel loved, wanted and cherished kept me from losing all hope.” Alicia’s hands kept on squeezing Elisabeth’s breasts lightly while she began to kiss the ear she’d been whispering into. She licked from top to bottom, her tongue darting into it which made Elisabeth moan loudly. Her breath caressed the sensitive skin at the same time. “I want you to know that I love you more than anything or anyone else. I’ll show you how exactly I feel because words aren’t enough anymore.”

Alicia suckled the earlobe tenderly, fondled it with her wet tongue. Her breath flowed over the wet skin and she felt Elisabeth slowly undulate against herself. Elisabeth rubbed her buttocks against Alicia’s mound through the pajama and leaned into the loving mouth.

Elisabeth was totally aroused from the words as much as the tender touches. She was content to let Alicia set the pace, her own hands following the slightest motion of her wife’s loving digits. They squeezed more firmly now, pinching her aching nipples forcefully. She had to moan loudly, the feeling of the tender touch shooting directly to her clit. She became unbelievable wet.

“How does this feel, sweet Elly?” Alicia wanted to know when she stopped sucking the earlobe for a moment.

Elisabeth tried to open her eyes which were firmly shut. She focused slowly and she had to swallow a few times. Clearing her throat she was able to husk, interrupted by quiet moans. “Irresistibly good. I missed you so much, my love.”

Alicia’s lips left the ear trailing along Elisabeth’s jaw line. She made Elisabeth turn her head by nuzzling the corner of her mouth. Their tongues met in a slow lover’s dance. They circled each other, stroked and suckled by turns, both of them moaning constantly now, very quietly.

Alicia gave the beloved breasts one last tender squeeze before sliding along Elisabeth’s muscled abdomen with soft fingertips. Her hands were still covered by her wife’s. Her right forefinger circled Elisabeth’s navel slowly, seductively which made Elisabeth deepen the kiss hungrily. Their left hands came to rest on Elisabeth’s thigh. The single finger dipped in probingly, eliciting a chuckle from the older woman breaking the kiss gasping for air. They looked into each other’s eyes for a while, one pair dark blue from arousal, the other one the color of the afternoon sky. They were both smiling lovingly.

Elisabeth’s face was shining from an inner light rendering it endearingly irresistible for Alicia. Her eyes sparkled from the feelings raging within her. She squeezed the hand where the index finger was still playing with her belly button.

“I love the way you make me feel,” Elisabeth husked, holding Alicia’s gaze for a few moments. Her eyes darted around the beloved face. She admired the cleft chin, the full, swollen lips she so loved to kiss, the strong pointed nose, the high cheekbones as well as the forehead. She finally looked into the eyes full of love again. “I love you, sunshine.”

Alicia stopped playing with the navel. The hand stroked to the right thigh now before starting a seemingly endless journey over Elisabeth’s front with light slow fingertips. The path led to her shoulders. They wandered along the arms until both pairs were resting on Elisabeth’s abdomen. Alicia’s arms were on top. Elisabeth shivered again, this time from the electrifying feeling of Alicia’s feather-light strokes on her skin. Goosebumps rose all over her body and her eyes closed involuntarily for a few seconds. Alicia guided her wife’s hands to her own breasts encouraging Elisabeth to caress herself. She watched the beloved face indulgently. Her hands hovered over Elisabeth’s at her own bosom before continuing her explorations. The palms of her hands hardly touched the hot, sweating skin. Elisabeth’s muscles twitched from the tickling sensations.

Elisabeth kneaded her own chest slowly, the double stimulation driving her crazy with desire. She voiced it unrestrainedly, moaning loudly when Alicia touched her bare mound with one hand. Alicia retreated again and stroked her abdomen with both hands. She tried to hold Alicia’s adoring gaze which was really hard. Her eyes drifted shut of their own volition but she tore them open and looked at her wife incredulously. Alicia lifted her own right leg, bending it with the foot firmly on the mattress. Elisabeth’s center was totally exposed this way as her own leg slid along Alicia’s thigh still clad in the silken pajamas. They kissed fiercely, their tongues dueling with each other. Elisabeth grabbed her wife’s hands pressing them to her breasts and she moaned into their kiss when Alicia pinched her nipples hard. She tore her mouth away and screamed her pleasure into the room. Alicia worked the breasts mercilessly knowing that Elisabeth enjoyed it immensely. Her own arousal built rapidly with every noise her wife made. She wanted to calm the heated situation a bit. Alicia captured Elisabeth’s mouth in a slow kiss, also slowing her kneading. She stopped fully and stroked the now trembling body in her arms soothingly. Elisabeth’s ragged breathing became normal again and she swallowed a few times wetting her sore throat.

“That was almost too fast,” Alicia whispered into the offered ear after she stopped totally. Her hands rested on the abdomen of her wife on top of Elisabeth’s. “You’re so damn hot, my love. Your reactions make me lose my mind. I still want to take this slow.” Alicia took a deep, calming breath, exhaling into her wife’s ear deliberately who shuddered in response.

“I can’t take it any longer, please,” Elisabeth begged hoarsely, breathlessly. She didn’t feel stupid or anything, squirming in Alicia’s arms restlessly. “Make me come, sunshine,” Elisabeth husked.

“But it’s fun to torture you,” Alicia commented amusedly. Her own arousal got the better of her. She stopped her wife trying to free herself. “Sssshh… it’s all right. Tell me how you want me to make you come, sweet Elly.”

The quiet whisper into her sensitive ear made Elisabeth tremble. She swallowed hard looking at her wife with wide eyes. “I’m yours. You know what I need… it was you who initiated the lovemaking knowing that I was hot.”

Alicia slid back a bit making space between their bodies this way. She closed her right hand over Elisabeth’s guiding it into her pajama bottom. The older woman gasped when she realized the absence of panties. She moaned loudly as her trembling fingers touched skin devoid of any hair where she’d seen a thatch of golden curls in the morning. They’d taken a shower together. Elisabeth couldn’t resist trying to touch the inviting flesh but Alicia stopped her by gripping the wrist.

“No, not yet,” Alicia rasped totally aroused. She brought Elisabeth’s hand back to her own abdomen and pressed herself against her naked wife from behind again. “Are you wet, sweet Elly?” she wanted to know, whispering into Elisabeth’s ear seductively.

“You have to find out,” Elisabeth suggested huskily. She held Alicia’s gaze while her wife’s hand trailed down her abdomen and stroked the bare skin on her mound.

Elisabeth smiled dazedly feeling Alicia paint little circles on her skin. She started to lift her hips encouraging Alicia to stop teasing her.

Alicia withdrew her hand and wrapped her arms tightly around Elisabeth’s torso. She made her turn her head when Alicia rested her chin on her wife’s shoulder, her mouth back against her ear.

“You’re in too great a hurry,” Alicia whispered seductively. “How can I slow things down?”

“I don’t know,” Elisabeth gasped totally aroused. “You are so mean, sunshine.”

“No, I only want this to be a special experience for us. I want to make you come forcefully but not by just penetrating you.” Alicia took a deep breath. “I’m going to describe what I want to do to you now. You’ll tell me whether you’d like that or not, okay?”

Elisabeth nodded but couldn’t stop hissing: “Touch me!”

“I AM touching you,” Alicia whispered. “Do you feel it?”

“Yes,” Elisabeth moaned when Alicia squeezed her hips where her hands were resting at her skin. She had to squeeze her eyes shut breathing raggedly.

Elisabeth’s every fiber was on fire from anticipation. Her skin was scalding hot. She wondered why Alicia didn’t withdraw from the heat emanating from her body. Instead the younger woman tightened her hold. Elisabeth would like to melt their bodies together to become one with the love of her life. Alicia was able to make her feel so much with her touch, with her words and just with her simple presence. She began to tremble. She felt a bead of sweat rolling from her right side squarely over her torso. The droplet mingled with more moisture at their arms on her left side.

Alicia enjoyed the hotness of Elisabeth’s body. It showed her that her wife was more than ready for her. She kissed the sweat-slick cheek lovingly with trembling lips. It was very hard to hold back because her own arousal demanded from her to finally get going. She still didn’t want to hurry.

“What do you think about me stroking your folds?” Alicia wanted to know.

Elisabeth moaned quietly. She was amazed how some simple words from Alicia could affect her so much. She felt her essence trickle down her thigh from the simple thought. “That sounds good,” Elisabeth gasped.

Alicia snuggled even closer, tightening her hold further. She felt Elisabeth lift her hips undulating against herself again. She enjoyed it immensely. “Do I find wetness when I slip two fingers between them?” she asked seductively.

“You’d have encountered it earlier,” Elisabeth answered slowly interrupted by moans.

“Mmmmh… I love the way you react to the things I do and say,” Alicia whispered totally aroused herself. “I want to feel your wetness, bathe my fingers in it before I touch your clit with tender fingertips.”

“Goodness… please, Ally… do it,” Elisabeth begged hoarsely. She was hardly able to speak because she could almost feel her wife’s fingers at her most sensitive parts. “I need you to touch me.”

“Not yet,” Alicia tried to calm her down. “You’re not ready yet.”

Elisabeth moaned loudly. She wasn’t able to believe what Alicia just said. She felt ready like never before in her life. She was starved after 20 years of celibacy. She would explode if Alicia didn’t hurry.

“I am ready… for you… always for you…,” Elisabeth said incoherently. She couldn’t think straight anymore as she felt her arousal constantly trickle down her thigh, pooling on the mattress.

“Oh yes,” Alicia hissed, losing herself in Elisabeth’s desire-filled whisper. Her pajama bottom was soaked from her own arousal. But she resisted the temptation to touch her wife intimately yet. “I want to fondle your hard little nubbin a bit… until you almost reach your climax.” Alicia was only able to whisper now.

Elisabeth felt her clit twitch, yearning for the promised touch. Alicia just kept on holding her in a strong grip around her torso. It left her hips free to rub her bottom against Alicia’s groin. She had to moan unrestrainedly when her wife began to undulate slowly.

Alicia couldn’t stop her body from answering Elisabeth’s sweet friction against her mound. She felt the moisture from her wife further soak the silk as she shifted a bit until her folds rubbed against Alicia.

“I want to dip two fingers into you a bit. I want to enjoy your readiness… I circle your opening hungering for my loving digits.” Alicia almost moaned the words.

Elisabeth could feel the motions of Alicia’s fingers between her legs. She stopped the rubbing and her inner muscles convulsed. She wanted to experience what her wife was only talking about. Her moans became louder. In a distant part of her brain she wondered how it was possible to feel this way from simple words… though they were uttered in the most erotic voice she’d ever heard.

“I want to enter you fully with two fingers,” Alicia whispered after taking some deep breaths. She pressed her mouth into Elisabeth’s ear.

Alicia’s ragged breath made Elisabeth tremble, the words reverberating through her whole body. The fingers stroked her hot inner walls, holding them in a strong grip. At least that’s what she felt.

“My fingertips touch this sensitive spot within you which I so much like to caress because it makes you scream.”

And that’s what Elisabeth did right now as her orgasm hit her full force. Her whole body shook. She moaned unrestrainedly and sweat as well as her juices trickled down everywhere. She threw her head back, arching her back from pure pleasure. Alicia allowed it by loosening her hold. It took very long until Elisabeth calmed down. She stopped trembling very slowly and her breathing became even one more time.

Alicia was in awe from the forceful orgasm. She was overwhelmed how her words affected Elisabeth. That she could stimulate her wife until an overpowering climax hit her. She kissed her wife’s wet cheek lovingly, waiting until she was quiet again.

“I love you so very much,” Alicia whispered when Elisabeth took some deep breaths.

Elisabeth cleared her throat. “You’re amazing,” she rasped still totally overwhelmed.

They sank into a very slow, sensual lover’s dance after gazing at each other for a while.

Alicia loved the way Elisabeth’s face was shining from the pleasure she’d received. Her eyes were glazed over and it took an eternity before they parted again.

Elisabeth tried to turn in Alicia’s embrace. Not meeting any resistance she did. They looked at each other lovingly for a while.

Alicia pushed Elisabeth back against the pillows and got rid of her too tight pajama. Elisabeth was in awe when Alicia settled on top of her. She enjoyed watching her wife getting undressed. Alicia freed the voluptuous body from the disturbing garments.

Their skin ignited where they touched. Alicia captured Elisabeth’s mouth for a slow but nonetheless passionate kiss. Her hands tangled in the auburn tresses. Elisabeth wrapped her arms around Alicia’s neck. One of her legs came to rest over Alicia’s. She explored her wife’s wet heat with her own hungry tongue. That made both of them moan into the kiss, eyes closed, their mounds pressed together.

Alicia ended the tongue play after long moments. She started her descent with wet kisses along Elisabeth’s body. She didn’t stop until she was kneeling between her wife’s legs. Elisabeth spread them wide to accommodate her wife and the anticipation grew. Alicia had very good access and she enjoyed the view she got of the bare folds. She placed the thighs over her shoulders and inhaled the intoxicating scent of Elisabeth’s still evident arousal. Alicia’s eyes closed of their own volition.

“Ally, I love you,” Elisabeth whispered burying her hands in the golden strands. She couldn’t stop the tremors of anticipation rocking her body. Their eyes locked in a mesmerizing gaze.

Elisabeth’s legs slipped from Alicia’s shoulders when the older woman leaned forward. They met in a searing kiss, their tongues dueling with each other.

“Now you’re ready for me,” Alicia whispered into Elisabeth’s ear after she’d trailed her wet lips there.

Alicia repeated her descent which made Elisabeth lie back again. She didn’t delay any further when they were in the same position as before. She buried her face in her wife’s wetness and stroked her with her whole face this way. That made Elisabeth arch her back and press herself against Alicia.

“Ally… I was ready the moment you touched me for the first time tonight,” Elisabeth moaned when she felt Alicia’s tongue touch her clit. With this a seemingly endless feast began. During its course Elisabeth climaxed countless times in the most wondrous ways until she was totally spent. Every little spot of her body was hypersensitive. Alicia snuggled against her from behind again while Elisabeth found her bearings.

Elisabeth entwined their right hands and brought them to her face. She could smell herself while she kissed the skillful digits lovingly.

“You’re unbelievable, sweet sunshine,” she whispered in awe. She felt her strength return because she was eager to reciprocate the love she’d received so abundantly from her wife.

Alicia enjoyed the scent emanating from Elisabeth. The musky fragrance of her womanly sex. The salty-sweet sweat covering her body. Most of all at her neck she was nuzzling with her face. She had to shudder when she thought about what Elisabeth would hopefully do to her soon.

Elisabeth’s right hand wandered over her own hip to Alicia’s scalding hot skin. She stroked her wife lovingly, leaning into the touch. The hand Elisabeth had been kissing rested at the older woman’s collarbones.

“Elly, I need you to make me come now,” Alicia whispered urgently undulating against Elisabeth again.

“What about slow and tender lovemaking?” Elisabeth teased and felt Alicia’s hand sneak to the one stroking her hip.

Before Alicia could do anything else Elisabeth gripped the wrist but not too strong. She faced Alicia and grinned impishly before turning fully. She pinned the taller woman onto the bed with her back against the pillows. Elisabeth came to rest on top of her wife. Holding both of Alicia’s wrists next to her head Elisabeth leaned in.

“I promise I won’t tease you. I won’t just take you either,” Elisabeth said quietly gazing into her wife's eyes. She enjoyed the look of utter arousal on Alicia’s face. Her wife’s features shone from an inner light making her seem ethereal.

Alicia was burning. Elisabeth’s hot skin against her own was almost more than she could take right now. All of her senses were focused on her release and she had to moan in response, squirming uncontrollably.

“Please… Elly.”

Elisabeth lifted the wrists and Alicia didn’t resist at all. She stretched the arms above their heads which made Alicia’s wonderfully prominent breasts poke out. Alicia pressed against Elisabeth’s bosom. Unable to resist Elisabeth captured the full, red lips in a slow, sensual kiss. Their tongues stroked each other slowly, eyes drifting closed of their own volition. They explored the mouth of the other woman thoroughly. Alicia began to moan quietly when Elisabeth rocked against her slowly. Their breasts rubbed provocatively. Elisabeth’s hands let go of Alicia’s wrists but Alicia kept her arms stretched above her head. Elisabeth buried her hands in the soft golden tresses, deepening the kiss with her curious tongue exploring Alicia’s mouth.

Alicia could hardly refrain from telling Elisabeth to take her fast right now. She didn’t want to break the erotic atmosphere so she held her hands above her head. She let Elisabeth set the pace the way it was before when she pleasured her wife.

Elisabeth was amazed how in control her wife seemed to be. She was determined it wouldn’t stay that way any longer. She swore this inwardly suckling at Alicia’s lower lip for a few moments. After that she descended along the wonderfully hot body with wet kisses.

“Elly…,” Alicia moaned when Elisabeth closed her hands around her aching breasts. She just held them lovingly while she painted small circles along her collarbones with her wet tongue.

“What is it, my love?” Elisabeth murmured suckling at the skin under Alicia’s right collarbone. Her auburn hair tickled her wife at the neck. She placed her knees on either side of Alicia’s hips for support. Their bare mounds were pressed together hotly.

“Nnnnaaaaah..,” Alicia moaned louder this time. “Isn’t this teasing?” she was able to ask before Elisabeth’s thumbs began to stroke her hard nipples slowly with feather-light touches. She moaned unrestrainedly when the effect of the ministrations shot directly to her clit.

Elisabeth felt her own arousal trickle down her folds again from Alicia’s responsiveness, her readiness. She squeezed the pliant mounds in her hands vehemently which made Alicia jerk and cry out from pleasure. She continued her descent with soft kisses, finally reaching the left breast. She looked up after studying the dark pink areola with the hard little nub in its middle. It seemed to beg for attention and hardened even further from the intense inspection. Their gazes locked. Elisabeth smiled ferally hovering over the breast with her mouth. Alicia watched her wife expectantly. She enjoyed the view and feeling of Elisabeth’s hands holding her abundant offerings lovingly. Elisabeth’s smile became a grin, her tongue darting out to moisten the waiting nipple before it retreated again. Alicia had to shudder and close her eyes when Elisabeth softly blew hot breath over the wet area.

“Mmmmmmhaaaaah,” Alicia moaned loudly and threw her had back. Her eyes were closed, feeling Elisabeth’s hot wet mouth cover her breast as much as it could before suckling rhythmically.

Alicia arched her back, offering her breast even more to Elisabeth this way. She felt the other one being squeezed by a warm loving hand before the fingers began to pinch her nipple, carefully at first.

“Ellyyyyy,” Alicia screamed unrestrainedly undulating against Elisabeth. Her wife returned it with the same slow rhythm. Their bare mounds rubbed against each other. Elisabeth sucked at the left breast harder now. She pinched the other nipple with merciless but nonetheless loving fingers and moaned quietly herself.

Alicia took her arms down and buried her hands in the auburn strands. She pressed the skillful mouth harder against herself, crying out from the onslaught of her first orgasm after 20 years. It raged through her whole body and she felt Elisabeth’s hand sneak between her legs distantly. She tried to spread them but she was unable because Elisabeth was still straddling her lap. She trembled forcefully; sweat trickled down her body everywhere. Her breath came in ragged bursts. She realized that her wife switched to her other breast now giving it the same loving attention. Elisabeth brought on Alicia’s second climax within minutes while her left hand kneaded the other pliant mound. Her right hand stroked the soaking folds.

Alicia screamed her release into the room as another white-hot explosion hit her every nerve-ending. It centered in her clit and her whole body was shaking violently. She urged Elisabeth’s head up with her hands to capture the skillful mouth in a searing kiss. The forceful tongue play took both their breaths away.

Elisabeth loved the way Alicia lost control with her orgasms. She screamed unrestrainedly. Elisabeth supported the weight of her upper body on her forearms on either side of Alicia’s head as she was lying on top of her wife again.

After the overwhelming passion subsided a bit the kiss became more slowly. Their tongues danced around each other, the kiss tasting of honey as always. Elisabeth couldn’t resist the temptation. She lifted her head a fraction, Alicia’s hands still buried in her hair. She licked her wife’s full lips teasingly. They opened their eyes and Alicia recognized the challenge in the gaze locked with her eyes now.

Elisabeth searched for Alicia’s tongue with her own and retreated again when they met. That made Alicia’s tongue search for its counterpart by darting out between her slightly parted lips. Their tongues began to stroke in the cool air between their faces, circling, tasting, exploring for an eternity. Their eyes were still locked before Elisabeth entered Alicia’s mouth again. She deepened the kiss and both of them felt the love in this slow dance. Their eyes closed again and they enjoyed their tongue play thoroughly.

Without breaking the kiss Elisabeth laid down on her left side still half on top of Alicia. Her free hand stroked its way along Alicia’s body slowly. It came to a halt on her wife’s bare mound while she pressed her leg between Alicia’s. She spread them effectively that way and the younger woman opened them even wider for her wife. Alicia’s right hand rested on Elisabeth’s back.

Elisabeth trailed soft kisses along Alicia’s jaw line after ending the kiss. “I love you so very much, my sunshine,” she whispered into the offered ear.

Elisabeth’s hand began to stroke the waiting wet folds and this was the beginning of hours of slow, sensual but nonetheless passionate mutual lovemaking. They both enjoyed it immensely after Elisabeth took care of Alicia’s needs first. The way Alicia had done.

They fell asleep totally exhausted in each other’s arms. They were both happy and feeling loved like never before in their lives knowing that they were where they belonged.


	44. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it...
> 
> What do you think?
> 
> When I wrote it back then... I was thinking about a sequel, but I'm not sure anymore.... So much has happened in my life since then. I don't know if I'll be able to write something like this again...
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated of course!

December 23, 2438, Time: 18:26:35, SD 115977.4

The Miller family sat in their living room sipping hot beverages after a day spent in the snow. Christopher Perry was sitting with Christine, William and Rhea on the couch while Alicia occupied one armchair and Elisabeth with Lara on her lap the other.

The little girl was smiling brightly, her face red and glowing from the cold and she leaned back against Elisabeth’s chest tiredly. “Can we do it again tomorrow?” she asked excitedly and took a big swallow from her hot chocolate licking the brown beard from her upper lip.

Everybody’s eyes were fixed on the two and they smiled at the adorable picture. Elisabeth had one arm around Lara’s belly so she wouldn’t slip from her lap due to tiredness. In the other hand she held her own cup of hot chocolate and took a sip every now and then.

Alicia loved how her wife interacted with the girl and watched her grin crookedly now.

“If I can move tomorrow… sure,” the auburn-haired woman agreed and waited knowing what would come.

Lara turned her head looking at the older woman questioningly. “Why shouldn’t you be able to move?”

Elisabeth grinned fully now and leaned forward to rub her nose against Lara’s which made her giggle. “I’m not as young as I used to be. All this rolling around in the snow today was too much for my old body.”

Cocking her head Lara frowned. “You are not old,” she commented and looked at William with his gray hair. “Your dad is old though.” It was just in the nature of children to say what was on their minds and everybody had to laugh at that. “Besides…” she continued looking at Elisabeth again. “I’m sure Doctor Alicia can do something about it so you’re ready for tomorrow.” The little girl gazed at the blonde now who she had started calling ‘Doctor Alicia’ not long after they had spent more time together and grinned.

Smiling Alicia had some ideas how to relieve some of Elisabeth’s aches and nodded readily.

“See,” Lara said and gestured with her open hand towards Alicia while looking back at Elisabeth again.

Matter closed the little girl settled back against Elisabeth’s chest and took the mug in both hands again sipping contentedly.

Elisabeth gazed at her wife smiling after her soft laughter about Lara’s manner in which she had solved the issue died down and imagined ways Alicia could make her feel better. She looked forward to it.

The grownups started a conversation and it didn’t take long before Alicia pointed out that Lara had fallen asleep. Christopher dis-burdened Elisabeth and took his daughter to bed wishing everybody a good night as he would join her. The day had exhausted every one of them.

Not long after the rest decided to call it a night as well and they went to their respective rooms.

As soon as the door was closed behind her Elisabeth wrapped her arms around Alicia and kissed her thoroughly. Their tongues tangled for long minutes before they parted and looked at each other.

“So… what did you have in mind?” Elisabeth asked grinning drinking in the beauty of her wife’s face with her eyes.

Alicia didn’t even pretend not to know what Elisabeth was talking about. “I was thinking of a full body massage.”

“Mmmmmm… sounds great. And it’s just what the doctor ordered,” Elisabeth said grinning and kissed Alicia on the cheek before retreating to the bathroom. “Be right back,” she said over her shoulder.

A few minutes later Elisabeth was indeed back in all her naked glory and hopped onto the bed which Alicia had prepared for the massage.

Without further ado Alicia started to knead all the kinks from Elisabeth’s muscles first at her back, the older woman moaning the whole time. When Elisabeth was lying on her back they gazed at each other and what started as a massage soon became caresses from Alicia leading to tender, sensual lovemaking for most of the night.

The next day was spent in the snow again and Christmas was quiet. They welcomed the New Year together before Elisabeth, Alicia, Christopher and Lara had to return to the Explorer for their duties.

The End

MAYBE

Continued in “The Hands of Fate”


End file.
